Sue and Neil's Story - Part 1: November 24th 2012 to February 14th 2013

This is not so much a blog...more of a book-in-the-making...but it will be in instalments. So, when and where does this story begin? Well, it seems to have begun at a little after 4am on the morning of Saturday 24th of November, 2012 when (presumably) Sue was browsing on one of the dating websites which she frequented and where she must have stumbled upon my profile. Sadly I cannot recall which of the dating sites produced the result - it would have been Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid, or EHarmony - those were the ones I remember us frequenting. FWIW my money is on Anyway, before we get onto our exchange of correspondence, here is Sue's profile which is the first thing(s) I read about her:

Username - SueParis Age: 61

City/Province: Tillson, New York

Marital Status: Divorced

Seeking: woman seeking man

Intent: I am seeking a partner for a long-term relationship.

Body Type: Average

Height: 5' 9" (175 cm)

Faith: Non-Religious

In 5 years: I want to be happily in love and in a committed long-term relationship.

My Background

Ethnicity: White/Caucasian Hair Color: Grey Eye Color: Hazel

Exercises: 1-2x per week

Education: Masters

Longest Relationship: 10+ years

Smoking: Never

Has Children: Yes, they live at home Wants Children: No

Drinking: Drinks socially

Occupation: teacher

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

In My Own Words

I'm a warm, spontaneous, non-linear, random abstract, creative person who embraces life with a positive outlook. I'm looking for someone to cherish and be cherished by....I value integrity, and witty, impish humor (because frankly that's my style too). I am an artist and a teacher and consider myself a life long learner. I'm looking for someone who is intellectually curious and connected. I don't think having a lot of degrees makes you smarter (but it does show commitment!) I think there are many different types of intelligence...I am NOT a serial dater. I'm very careful about who I go out with.

I would appreciate someone who is a divergent thinker in many ways. I hate routine and always take the path least traveled. I will never approach things in a straight line (not my style). The side roads are way more interesting and who says we have to get places in a hurry.

I don't like making grocery lists of things I like but know you have to find out something about me so here goes: I love reading and anything with a historical perspective, I also read a lot of books about art and artists as well as educational philosophy (for my work). I love music that moves me, emotionally, and physically. I am a R&B,Delta Blues, Old rock (60's-70's), classical, Brazilian tango name it . I live in a beautiful natural setting and my spirituality is tied up in the natural world. I am a liberal in my outlook but like to keep an open mind..I'm interested in finding ways that help the world not increase profits for corporations...I'm a humanist first and foremost....Hope that's enough. I've written too many of these essays in the past few months. POF, OK Cupid.....hope to hear from someone out there.

I would like a first date to last however long makes sense.

I think a typical first date should be spontaneous -- I like to set a time and place to meet and then see where our date takes us.

My Ideal Partner

• Is between 56 and 68 years old.

• Never smokes.

• No preference about parental status.

• Minimum education: Some College/University.

This was the first message I received from Sue:

From suparis Sent: 11/24/2012 4:47 AM

Hi, I liked your profile. I'm becoming a connoisseur of such things lately! Your work seems very interesting. My parents loved to visit churches and stained glass windows were high on their list of favorites. I spent many a summer looking at them! I once lived in the Bronx myself (Riverdale) years ago. I know I live pretty far away from you but ,"nothing ventured nothing gained"... -Sue

Unfortunately I did not keep a copy of my own profile from that time but my response will at least give you an idea of what it would have contained:

From neilepi Sent: 11/24/2012 6:26 AM

Hi Sue,

My profile is not entirely up to date but the changes may actually appeal to your non-linear, artistic, creative and less-traveled side(s?).

For a little over a year I have been a resident caretaker in the Edgar Allan Poe Cottage at Fordham. The deal is that I get to live rent-free in the somewhat rudimentary basement apartment and in return I give conducted tours of the cottage for a few hours on Saturdays and Sundays. It is an arrangement that dovetails neatly with my chronic underemployment.

I still do the artistic "stuff" as well although the sparse revenues from commercialisation of my StainedGlassPhotography (add a dot com and you will have my main content site) has given way to exploiting the art of others on CafePress. For two of my "shops" there append /ralley and /fineartdesigns to cafepress dot com There is some creativity in imagineering the items, deciding what will appeal and presenting them in an attractive way but it is a long way from the creativity put in by the Pre-Raphaelites, Klimt, Van Gogh, Monet and countless others.

Last not least I am hoping that some of Edgar's spirit lingers on here and that it may inspire me to complete RiskPremium, which was once a contemporary thriller in the making but is in danger of becoming a historical novel. If you are so inclined you may read the Prologue and Chapter 1 at the website of the title with a dot net appended.

I have not been at all active in terms of dating, unless you call one date in over 12 months "active". This is partly a function of slender economic resources but almost certainly due to other factors that I have not totally analysed. Frankly, not having a car and having weekends fairly tied-up, the feasibility of conducting a relationship with someone 70+ (?) miles up the Hudson is tricky, to say the least. However, as someone who once successfully conducted a relationship which spanned the Atlantic Ocean, I suppose I should not be discouraged or deterred.

I too am becoming a connoisseur of dating profiles and when I apply my selection skills, which were honed in the corporate world, I find your profile interesting and you appear to be a very attractive person. I like your photo a lot - it was clearly taken on a day and in company that you were very happy - and was a little disappointed when you mentioned the short, grey hair (you spell your way, I'll spell mine...). I hope that it does not mean that you totally look your age unlike your photo which portrays someone several years your junior.

Actually, who am I to talk? Right now, as I type, I have a shock of white hair on my face having re-grown the beard I sported for much of my adult life; my hair is also somewhat unruly. However, it's nothing that a shave and a haircut won't fix.

That's all for now.



This was Sue's response: From suparis Sent: 11/24/2012 7:12 AM

Hi Neil,

Actually most people's reaction to my grey hair has been enormously popular! I should tell you that it wasn't by choice. I recently had a battle with ovarian cancer, (which I won..I'm now cancer free.) The hair is a result of 8 months of chemotherapy. And if I do say so myself I look better now then when that other photo was taken! I am very young at heart and working with kids has helped with that attitude! It's amazing just to be still on the planet!

I remember the Poe cottage. It always looked so incongruous in that neighborhood. Is it still fairly Irish? It sounds like a really interesting set up. I also love history and have read avidly. Mostly European and Japanese history. My ex-husband had a huge (1200 volume) collection of history books. He had dual degrees in History and anthropology (BA and MA). It's one thing I miss from that relationship. (otherwise, I'm glad to be out of it).

Yes distance and finances are an issue for me as well. I was in a relationship last year with someone in Schenectady(75 miles away)...I did all of the driving every weekend. It ended after I became ill and couldn't do the drive. My car is a junker and it almost expired as well!

I will try to look at all your websites etc. I only have pretty bad photos of my art work. I'm getting my daughter (she's a photography student) to re-do them and then i want to set up a website. I'm determined to finally put it out into a public arena etc. something I was always too insecure to pursue...I have some of the pictures on my profile on OK cupid..(sueadam is the profile name) It's also a free site.

Well ,it's been nice chatting with you...-Sue

I then visited OK Cupid and left the following message: Nov 25, 2012 – 5:15am Came here to look at your art - interesting and I can suggest ways you can develop and/or market it. Stopped longer than intended and answered what felt like interminable questions of varying degrees of irrelevance. Have now stopped despite having only reached about 1/3 of the way.

Nov 25, 2012 – 7:00am

Oh Neil,I'm sooo sorry. Answering those questions gets to be addictive for some reason!!! It's as if you 're caught up in a labor of Herculean proportions...Hope it was a little fun!

Thanks for looking at the art. The photos are god awful so I'm surprised you got any kind of idea what they look like. I would be really interested in how you think they could be developed/marketed (other then better photo's, which I'm working on!). I see you were up at 5:15am, so hopefully you're getting some rest..hope to hear from you again, Sue

There then followed almost a month of nothing, no communication, while we both went on with our lives, until December 19th when the following exchange took place:

Message from sueadam Dec 19, 2012 - 8:10pm

Hi Neil, How have you been? Is the Bronx still standing? Hope all is well. -Sue

Dec 19, 2012 – 9:09pm

Hello, Sue. You probably noticed that I clicked on your profile earlier. It was to jog my memory because I was trying to explain how I came to have a profile on OKC to someone who had asked about it. That said I was left with a lingering thought that you do sound like a quite interesting person.

I'm OK and the Bronx is still standing and actually feels quite safe and peaceful compared to some places in Connecticut that I'm reading about. (This was in reference to the school shooting at Sandy Hook) I have been enjoying modest sales on CafePress (see CafePress dot com /fineartgifts) which is a seasonal blip for sure but it is telling me that I can make at least a half-decent living there with just a bit more time and effort. Would you believe I have sold some shower curtains (Klimt and Turner artwork but others are in the works), a duvet cover and a couple of yoga mats? CafePress has come a long way since it was just tee shirts and mugs.

Had my first real date in over a year last weekend. As a date it was not a huge success, not even close. I was 97% sure from what I had seen online that there would be no chemistry, at least not on my side, but she asked and she was a nice person so I accepted. We met at the Met and looked around the Matisse exhibition (I picked it with her in mind, Matisse is not a great favourite of mine) and I will say that the atmosphere felt good. I also had a quick look in the Met shop before she arrived and got a few ideas for designs for CafePress - I'd actually like to go back and spend more time in the shop. It is excellent value once I get over my English tendency to follow "the line" and make the full, recommended, $30 'donation'. I pleaded (genuine) poverty and donated $1.

Did I ever send you a link to my blog? I have taken up the cause of Scottish Independence and you will find some posts there. It is at I would especially like you to scroll down (a long way) to March 2007 and read the excerpts from real trial transcripts, they are funny, especially the ones by pathologists. I dare you not to laugh...

You did well, you got over 2000 characters out of me!

Take care,

Neil (a real person, honestly)

Dec 19, 2012 – 9:11pm

Sorry, I meant cafepress dot com/fineartdesigns (I have used "gifts" in so many other domains but this time I opted for the classier "designs"

Sue's response: Dec 19, 2012 – 9:35pm

wow...well I hope future encounters have a more favorable outcome. The Met shop is one of my favorite places in NY. My ex-husband and I used to go to the Met every other week or so when we lived in the Bronx ( before child) and about once every other month or so when we had moved upstate. NEVER pay the asked for admission! I used to pay a quarter when I was a student at Pratt. They have plenty of patrons and rich tourists from Ohio picking up the tab....

I only like Matisse's paper cuts (of course). If you go back what would you look at? The American wing has some great possibilities. I know one of the furniture curators (husband of a good friend). I'll look at your blog...why Scottish independence? My family came here in the 1600's from Scotland. Another branch came over in the 1850's also from I guess I have a little curiosity. Is it a real "thing"? I thought Edward the III (or was it the IV? one of those pesky Plantagenets) kind of put an end to all of that....anyway you're very interesting too. Keep in touch, pen pals are fun too you know...-Sue

Sue added: Dec 19, 2012 – 9:50pm

Ok I read it . That was one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. There are actual tears in my eyes right now! Thanks....-S

Dec 19, 2012 – 10:25pm

"If you go back what would you look at?"

What would you like to show me? I feel sure that you will have at least one day through the holidays when you could fit in some sightseeing....Me? I'm even free weekends until after New Year.

On weightier matters, yes "it" really is real and bodes to be a very interesting and multi-dimensional campaign. Summarising, Scotland became part of the UK, per se, in 1607 but has enjoyed varying degrees of separateness and to a significant degree it's own identity, over those 4 centuries. In recent years there has been a Scottish Parliament in Edinburgh which has had some power over some governmental functions but a long way short of true "independence".

The latest situation is that the UK government agreed that Scotland could have its own referendum in the Autumn of 2014 and that the result would be a Yes/No decision between remaining part of the UK with the existing state of devolution OR full independence with all that might entail.

What makes it very interesting and complex is the situation vis a vis the EEC. Right now most people will tell you that the population of Scotland breaks down 1/3 in favour of independence, 1/3 in favour of staying in the UK and 1/3 undecided. Because of the inherent risk-aversion of people in this kind of situation the chances of getting a majority in favour of independence hinges heavily on reducing the "unknowns", the biggest of which is membership of the EEC on similar terms to those enjoyed by the UK right now and those terms are kind of unique to the UK such as still having the pound and not the Euro.

It is really quite hard to simplify and distill the issues but suffice it to say that the situation is hugely complicated by the fact that Europe itself is in crisis mode with major economic problems in Greece, Ireland, Italy and Spain (others too) spilling over into Europe itself and threatening the future of the Euro.

In my opinion (right now, unlikely to prevail) the very best solution would be for (North Sea oil-endowed) Scotland to go for full independence, not only from the UK but also from the EEC. Along very similar lines, in fact, to Norway which is actually in enviably good shape.

Anyway, from my stance, what started as a calendar and tee-shirt marketing project (which from that standpoint has been a spectacular failure, so far) has evolved into an active campaign, if only one of assisting with the circulation of info and opinions. To see some of my designs (if you have Scottish blood pay close attention to the calendar) go to CafePress dot com/ralley and scroll down until you find a Scottish-looking section. It has also got me "twittering" which, if you didn't know, is the crack cocaine of electronic communication.

You almost got me to 3000 characters this time and if I'd allowed myself to bore you more with the Scottish situation I'd have gone over 5000 I'm sure.


Dec 19, 2012 – 10:48pm

Ah shucks, I was hoping to get you past 5000! I'm known for my lengthy e-mails so watch out and I(shudder) don't watch the word count. I'm very spontaneous that way...

I'd love to come down and "see" the Met with you. My favorite parts were never the stuffy painting galleries though. I love the historic rooms and the Asian and Islamic art sections but my absolute favorite was always the Medieval section. I always tried to get in to see the tree with the Neapolitan figures ,which I love, this time of year so that's one place i would go...the imagination runs wild in that place..the Cloisters is also a special place for me...but a bit chilly this time of year! The Met has the most beautiful collection of ancient musical instruments which are quite exquisite. I could see you using pictures of those on various items...what say you? they'd perhaps be better sellers then Scottish Independence T's. Lots more music lovers out there.

Thanks for the explanation about Scotland. I didn't mean to sound flippant, we really don't hear much about it in the press here. The fiscal crisis i knew about but not that Scotland has a referendum coming up. Thanks for the info I'll try to keep abreast of it now.

If you're serious about meeting me there let me know. No pressure no expectation; just like to show you a place that's special.. it's only a train ride away...I'm off next week until the 8th of's been nice re-connecting with you...-Sue

Ps I don't cocaine for me mon...

Dec 19, 2012 – 11:36pm

I was serious. Do you want to do it before or after Christmas? Saturday would work for me, and it's open longer giving us more flexibility but I will leave the timing entirely up to you. The only fixed commitment I have is lunch this Friday when I am being treated by my boss from the Historical Society, other than that the entire rest of my life is at your disposal. Well, at least until January 5th when my weekend duties get resumed.

Your idea about musical instruments is a good one. Not sure about the rules re photographing exhibits, I do know that commercial use of any pics is strictly taboo but I suppose one old banjo looks much like any other old banjo...

Sorry, you are going to have to wait for the other 4,262 characters.

Dec 20, 2012 – 5:31am

Good morning, Did I mention I get up with "the chickens"? I think I could make my way down there Sat. It will probably be a madhouse but then again the whole holiday season is like that for the Met. After Christmas is just as we might as well just go. If possible earlier rather then later...I'll have to consult train schedules but how about 11:00ish? Trust me on this one, the afternoon will be chaos there. By the by do you still sport the beard? If you're taking a survey put me in the positive way do you look like "Santa"?? best regards, Sue

Dec 20, 2012 – 6:04am

Hey, Would you be OK switching to regular e-mail. This site is confining..then you wouldn't have to count characters... if so i'm at -Sue

Dec 20, 2012 – 6:05am

Good morning, Sue. 11-ish on Saturday is just fine, just let me know the where & when once you have consulted timetables etc. In case it slips my mind my mobile is 646-250-3954 which might be handy for fine-tuning on the day.

I was seriously contemplating a shave an a haircut but will hold back a while, at least on the shave part, in light of your comment. A bit disappointed about not looking like Santa in Rise of the Guardians - it's probably the only time in my life that someone has told me I looked like a Super Hero.

The weather forecast is good - over 43 degrees and partly sunny with only a 20% chance of rain. Even Cloisters might be quite pleasant.

Our messages are about to cross....

Good Morning Sue,

Just thought I'd wish you a Happy End-of-the-World Day. Found this quote on the UK Daily Telegraph Website: The exact timing of today's cataclysm is unclear but, according to some self-appointed experts, it could occur shortly after 11am UK time - the time of the winter solstice - leaving Britons chance for a final breakfast. (That makes it 6am EST) The article does go on to say that modern Mayans believe it is just a transition from one cycle to another and not a falling off a cliff as the scaremongers would have it. I really do hope the the world doesn't end today, I would hate for something cataclysmic to get in the way of our date tomorrow. That would be just typical - the first time I meet someone really nice on a dating site and the end of the world happens - what a bummer... Taking a glass-half-full approach, and assuming that today proves to be just like any other in the history of the planet, your plan for Saturday sounds great and I am looking forward to meeting you in person. CafePress? Nothing so complicated as dealing with suppliers. It is print-on-demand, pure and simple. If someone wants a shower curtain or a yoga mat that's what they order and that is what is made and shipped. No inventory, no risk. The profit margins are not what they used to be a few years ago but provided CafePress can bring in large numbers of customers, through advertising and search engine optimisation, the volume can compensate for the loss of margin. You can also buy any items from your own stores, without a mark-up, so you can buy to resell at fairs, gallery shows etc. There is another enterprise called Zazzle which operates along similar lines. What Zazzle has that might be of interest to you is printing onto custom-sized canvases which you could use as a base to build on or you could just print your finished works onto canvas. I'm thinking of the former of the two options because there you would be creating a 3D art form beginning with an image printed onto the canvas. Here are links to a shop I have on Zazzle:

Hi Neil, Yes the planets DIDN"T misalign apparently. I do have a slight head cold (hazard of being a teacher of small fry) but nothing significant..I sound a little like a combination of Kermit the frog and Talleulah Bankhead but otherwise I'm fine...I look forward to finding you in amongst the tourists at the Met! ( I taught a year long study about Central America focused on the Mayan culture for 6years so I KNEW the whole thing was hokum)

Neil, So I'm curious about the mysterious P. in front of your name. I've been ruminating about various names it could be...Paul, Peter, or Philip just seem too prosaic. You'd probably use those..why not? But what if it were Philpot, or Peregrine? How about Philbert or Poindexter,.. hmmmm, I'm also favoring Greek references like, Pythias for instance or Prospero (very Shakespearean and all that) ah a mystery to be solved in time I'm sure...see you tomorrow

Hadn't I told you already? I guess not...

I was born on April 21 1952 which just happens to be the Queen's birthday and so apparently I was destined to be christened either Elizabeth or Philip and fortunately my parents spared me the embarrassment of opting for the former. Not sure why it was that Neil became the name I used, I'm fairly sure it wasn't any of my doing. What was a conscious decision was actually using both initials. When I was young I would simply use 'Neil Ralley' at school and on homework etc but when I got to about 16 and opened a bank account I used my full initials as a (very early) identity-theft/cheque signature protection device. So, sorry to spoil your reverie and fantasies about what kind of name I might be ashamed of. It is probably just as well that when I was at school I was not doing the pretentious thing of using the first initial and middle-name combo - I would probably have got myself knicknamed the PNeil implant! There is a kind of family tradition with names. My father was named Alexander Reid Ralley - the Alexander from his father and Reid being the maiden name of his grandmother who didn't like using "Ralley" after being deserted by my Great Grandfather. Reid was the name my father went by rather than 'Sandy" which is the abreviation for Alexander in Scotland. My eldest brother is Andrew Reid and goes by Andrew and my other (also older) brother is Alexander Edwin (I have no idea where the Edwin comes from, probably should but don't) and he is known as Sandy. Prosaically, P. Neil R

Ahh another dream shattered! Actually I figured it was Philip because of the time period you were born in. I don't think i was named for any Susan in particular in 1950's American culture. My mother was not a fan of Susan Hayworth as far as I know...certain names are big in my family too. Robert Alexander is the most prevalent with 3generations and 3 variations at the moment and my middle name, I always hated as a kid because it made no sense to me, was a "family" name: Hazlett.. I kept the Parise because i was buying a house at the same time i was getting divorced and couldn't handle any more legal I wish I had changed back (choices choices) ( Darn I was hoping for Percival at the very least...). sue

I'd like to share this with you and test your reaction.

A few weeks ago, via a tweet I received from one of my Scottish connections, I learned that a much-liked and admired singer/song-writer called Mike Marra had died. I had not heard of him but, not least because he was the same age as me, I decided to dig around and the tweet I had received contained a link to this song he did at a recent Burns night concert in Glasgow. I played it and I really find it quite haunting. I also have a strong sense that Marra was a very NICE and very humanistic person. The song was originally written by Burns and I have read at least one person say that THIS is how it should be sung but there are countless other arrangements and versions by singers of all nationalities, even REM did a version of it. Here it is: By way of a balance here is one of my all-time favourites, it is the main theme from a film called Local Hero. The soundtrack was (very cleverly) written by Mark Knopfler, a brilliant composer and guitarist: I will also throw in a very cheerful rendering of some Irish music by a couple of hugely talented instrumentalists:

Thanks Neil those were really lovely. Local Hero is one of my favorite movies. I love the shots of the Northern Lights and he's trying to describe them to his boss in America..priceless...I also fell in love with the Scottish Isles because of a movie from the forties called, I Know Where I'm you know it? I first saw it on TV when i was about 13 and it has stayed with me all this time. The music was so beautiful and the B&W photography was gorgeous. I come from a long line of Presbyterians (naturally) but both sets of grandparents, who lived in completely different parts of the country, were Scots Covenantors, a very strange off shoot of Presbyterianism. It's hard for Americans to have a sense of identity other then American, especially if your family has been here for multiple generations. I work with a woman who is from Scotland and she has a dance class after school that teaches kids Scottish dancing and it's very popular (you don't have to be Scots to join).They perform at a local Burns Night in Poughkeepsie every year...traditions live on...My father would always say, Scotch is something you drink..Scottish is what the people are...-S

It's not a film I'm familiar with but I was able to find a clip for you:

Have you heard Kiki Dee? Here are two of my favourite tracks by her. Song for Adam is quite sad but the low tones she hits at the ends of the verses are just wonderful, very earthy and very sexy. This next one is just a very beautiful song, you will probably want to play it more than once:

You've got me going now, Sue...

Here's an artist you probably will not have heard of. He is a Brit called Chris Rea and is very talented. I am sending you 2 tracks which could not be more different. The first has one of the best intros you are ever likely to hear. Back in my corporate days one of my 'perks' was a company car and I managed to wangle 2 back-to-back, super-fast Ford Sierra Cosworths. The second was 4WD and would do 0-60 in about 5 1/2 seconds and would easily do 150mph on a good stretch of road with no police around. Well, this was my go-faster track. There is a moment about 2 minutes into it when it just explodes and that is when I would accelerate and really DRIVE. By way of a total contrast the second track is also by Chris Rea and it is just breathtakingly beautiful and a total antithesis to the first track:

Ok I'm going to sleep now...the concert has been lovely...but I'm very tired. (i got up around 4:30) see you soon. I'll wear a bright turquoise scarf and be on the left side of the staircase...g'night - S

Hi Neil, I'm afraid we tempted fate when we mocked the end of the world. I've been up since 3 with a flooded basement.My house is built in a wetland area. After Hurricane Irene I had 4ft of water down there and needed to be pumped out by the local fire dept.. It's ground water, the water table rises etc...Anyway I woke up because i heard something and went to check and sure enough I had about 2 inches of water..AND my cockamamie sump pump wasn't working! I had to pull it out and thump it around a few times and now it works but I'm afraid to leave it in case it stops again. I've been up sweeping water into a trough that feeds water to the pump trying to get it out but it keeps refilling..(ground water..after Irene the pump ran continuously for 4 mos.) also the hose on the pump sprang some leaks so I've been battling those with my trusty duct tape. I really need to move to a nice apartment this is ridiculous...

It's so stupid! I'll call you in the morning but right now I may have to stay and "babysit" it or even get another pump to install as a sorry I was really psyched to meet you and see the Met..(sigh)..-sue ( I know now the true meaning of the phrase "rain check")

hi Neill, I'm sorry about that call. My whole head is completely stuffed up and coupled with lack of sleep and terrible phone reception I was less than conversant (also I have laryngitis)...I think Thursday seems like a good day. Weekends in that museum are chaotic so maybe we'll luck out(we're due for some) The pump won't be an issue by then. The water table should be fine and if not I'll just unplug the D@*& thing and deal with it when I get back. My brother was supposed to help me with it back in the fall but he got too busy so now I'll call him and "guilt" him a little about it (lol)..anyway, have a good day and I'm sure we'll talk some more before Thursday.. -Sue

Hi Sue,

No need for the apology. I should warn you that my mobile phone is not the best either, it is one of those that is only used for making phone calls (remember those? You probably had one when you were a kid) but the speaker is not the greatest and I'm now thinking that the mike might not be the greatest either. I will replace it eventually but for now it is not a #1 priority. If you ever want to call me at the cottage use the land-line there which has quite a good handset. The number is 718 329 3795; unfortunately the Historical Society has a very limited contract with Verizon and I can't use it to call mobile phones unless they are on the Verizon network or local or something. It is a shame, really, I was quite looking forward to hearing what a cross between Kermit the frog and Talleulah Bankhead sounded like, the more so because I can't recall having heard Kermit "speak" and have not the foggiest idea who Halleluiah Bunkbed is... For the record I think with just about any other date I can remember, at least these last couple of years, my reaction to the postponement would have included at least a tinge of relief but today's meeting was one I was unequivocably looking forward to. I thought a Noah quote would be appropo here and so I googled. Among the interesting, ludicrous and irrelevant answers these 2 stuck out. Not because they are relevant or appropo but just because they are interesting: “Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.” ― Dave Barry and “My Sunday school teachers had turned Bible narrative into children's fables. They talked about Noah and the ark because the story had animals in it. They failed to mention that this was when God massacred all of humanity.” ― Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality Neil

for this one be sure to have a box of paper hankies to hand when he talks about learning Welsh, trust me...


My mind is blown by this I'm expected to carry a gun! The first principle for educators is "keep the children safe" be it physical safety or emotional safety or what have you..This is ridiculous. Those women teachers who died trying to protect their classes did it because it's instinctual to protect our's part of our biology for crissakes. It's what keeps the human race going. It is not instinctual to use a gun to do that! I spend a lot of time and energy helping young children learn how to "get along" with each other, how to negotiate disagreements and how to settle disputes so that everyone benefits and feels Ok about it. I DO not want them to think I'm so fearful of the world outside that I need to tote a gun! What are these lunatics thinking???? The first week of every school year I brainstorm with my students what kinds of behavior are necessary for them to have the best year in school. We call them guidelines, not rules. Thank god most of them end up saying some variation of the golden rule! which as far as I remember is not" An eye for an eye". I'm completely, as you English say," Gobsmacked"( (i read a lot of Roald Dahl in my class). sheesh

Hi Neil, Wanted to wish you a happy Christmas Eve..any plans? I've been up looking at other people's art sites all morning and am beginning to feel overwhelmed. I received an "invitation to jury duty" for the week of Jan.2nd...ah the joys of participatory democracies. i postponed it from September..they wanted me the week school started but you're only allowed one postponement so I'm on the hook. Hopefully I won't be called (hope springs eternal). Enjoy your day. At least it's sunny! -Sue

Yes, Vernon is further north and it is not a million miles from Orange County. That said, what I actually typed was Verona!

Verona is in Essex County, in the triangle between the Caldwells and Montclair and Livingston Where in Orange County? My in-laws lived in Otisville and so I got to know the drive up route 23, past High Point, quite well and also Middletown and the surrounding area. Have fun playing Clue, or Cluedo as it is known in the UK where it was first published in 1949 by Waddington, the world-renowned board game-maker which made most of the games I can remember. I quite liked Monopoly but my favourite was Risk which appealed to my liking for strategy. When I think of toys and Christmas I tend to think of train sets (Hornby 00) and Scalextrix (electric racing cars on a rubber track) because Christmas was the only time I recall those games getting put up because they took up a lot of space and that cut across my Mother's need to tidiness. It's not that we lived in especially small houses but neither of the houses I grew up in had what you would call a family or games room. Neil

Oops, I need to have my eyesight tested! I lived for 20 years in New Windsor on the edge of Newburgh. It was suburban hell. We bought a house without really doing our homework and had no idea the Newburgh schools were worse then anything in the inner city of NY. What a surprise we had in store. My daughter was in early infancy so I had time to investigate other options. That's how I embarked on finding out about alternative private schools and ultimately teaching in them.

Oh how funny, i didn't realize Hasbro or whoever had "acquired" English games.We played a lot of Monopoly too. I remember summers spent playing card games like canasta as well.My backyard neighbors growing up always had Croquet set up and we'd spend hours after dinner in the summer "killing" each other off. We were merciless! Kids don't seem to play those games anymore, what a shame..

I know all about train sets too. My brother and father had an HO scale train set that also only came out at Christmas. It had all kinds of geographical features. My favorite was the mica lake. The little houses and roads were so cute. I loved watching the train whizzzz by. Now and then my brother would even let me do the switches! Ok nostalgia hour is over..back to the kitchen...-Sue

Hi Sue,

I just wanted to let you know that I actually had to resort to Google to look up a word you used earlier. This wasn't a case of 'knowing the gist' but maybe needing clarification, as sometimes happens when I am both reading and writing. This was a case of plain "durrr" - I had never seen of heard the word before and yet you used it so easily and naturally. Fortunately I was able to establish (I think) that it is a truly American word and for all I know isn't even IN the Oxford dictionary and is certainly not in common parlance in the UK. Here's what I found online:


[kuh-nip-shuh n] Show IPA


Often, conniptions. Informal. a fit of hysterical excitement or anger.

Also called conniption fit.

Origin: 1825–35, Americanism; origin uncertain

The nearest colloquialism from the UK would be "have a fit" or "throw a fit", the more modern, less 'correct' but perhaps more expressive would be "go apeshit" or, slightly less impolitely, "go nuts", "go absolutely nuts". "Go beserk" is one of the 'better-spoken' person's expressions.

I guess conniption is a word Poe would have used - he might even have invented it, there's a thought!

So are you a better-than-average Scrabbler? I used to think I was quite good, maybe am, but when I play against a Philippina friend, a Special Ed teacher who plays seriously, she beats me 9 times out of 10. Through her I was also introduced to a school nurse from a school here in the Bronx who is a REALLY serious player and talks of regular scores in the 300-400+ range. I've not played her but I am sure that her boasts are not empty.

Oh dear..scrabble? probably not. I played it once or twice when i was young. While I do have a fairly extensive vocabulary apparently I have always had a problem with developing logical or sequential patterns. (also I was known in my family as little" Miss Malaprop" because I used words in the wrong context frequently as a child), I am much more free form in everything I do. I've often thought it's because I'm left-handed and ambidextrous to some degree and my brain just won't "go there". Number doesn't play"nice" either. I can never hang onto numbers in my head I always have to write them down, the sequential order starts flying around and jumping out of order...on the other hand I am a pretty good "speller" again visual memory plays its part. I bequeath to you "conniption" ; use it as you might be a good word to use in a mystery/thriller! By the by, have a lovely Christmas...-S

Dalai Lama's Christmas Tweet: - Compassion brings peace of mind and with it better health; so cherish compassion.

Merry Christmas to a fellow Left-Hander

On Tue, Dec 25, 2012 at 6:27 AM, P. Neil Ralley <> wrote:

Good Morning Sue,

Someday you can explain all that stuff about sequential patterns and numbers, clearly not over a game of Scrabble, but meanwhile here's a recent article about left handedness: and an excerpt from yet another one:

Whether you're a righty or lefty may say more about you than what hand you use to write or play sports. CREDIT: Igor Kovalchuk | Shutterstock

In this weekly series, LiveScience examines the psychology and sociology of opposite human behavior and personality types.

To get a sense of human handedness, take a survey of those combination chair-desk furniture pieces in classrooms. The desktops tend to wrap around from the right. That's so right-handers can comfortably rest their arms while jotting down notes with their dominant hand. For that uncommon left-hander, if he or she is lucky, there might be an odd-looking desk or two with an oppositely molded desktop.

Such classroom chauvinism reflects the puzzlingly strong bias toward right-hand dominance in our species. All over the planet, nine out of 10 people, on average, favor their right hand for writing, throwing and so on. ("Footedness" roughly follows this same breakdown, though for sensory organs, such as eyes and ears, preference is less skewed; true ambidexterity occurs in less than 1 percent of the population.)

Despite more than a century and a half of research, scientists have yet to find an answer for what causes handedness. "It's a very good question but we don't know," said David P. Carey, a neuropsychologist at Bangor University in the U.K.

Clues relating to asymmetries in our bodies, and especially in the brain, however, could help explain the paucity of "south paws."

To the left, to the right

Are you a righty or a lefty? CREDIT: Karl Tate, LiveScience Infographic Artist

The selection of one hand for fine motor control might reflect the fact that much of our anatomy and function is not balanced.

Our internal organs do not mirror the body's exterior, bilateral symmetry — that pattern of two opposing legs, hands, nipples, eyes, ears and so on. The heart and spleen, for example, normally form on the body's left side, the liver on the right; each lung bears a distinctly different shape.

And so it goes with our brain. That wrinkly pulp in our skulls divides down the middle into two hemispheres and, in a quirk of evolution, each hemisphere controls the opposite side of the body; that is, the brain's left hemisphere operates our right side, and vice versa. The same process occurs with vision — what our left eye "sees" is processed by the right rear of the brain. [10 Things You Didn't Know About the Brain]

Although the two halves of our brain have broadly similar anatomy, certain tasks tend to be handled by one side of the brain more than the other. Scientists chalk this up to efficiency's sake, as performing duplicate, simultaneous actions on each side wastes energy and available brain power.

"For a lot of actions, it's a good idea to have the boss living in one place," Carey said.

Hand to mouth

That phenomenon of brain laterality and division of labor could help explain handedness. Among the more demanding and recently evolved tasks for our brain is language processing and generation. Intriguingly, in 90 percent to 95 percent of right-handers, the left hemisphere is dominant for language and speech functions, suggesting evolution has honed one side to handle skillful work.

"If I have one part of my brain controlling my fine motor movements, it would make sense to have this part handle language, too," Carey told LiveScience.

Yet the relationship is not so simple. About two-thirds of lefties are also left-hemisphere dominant for speech and language, Carey said, and some 5 percent or more of righties have right-hemisphere dominance. [Constant Battle as Brain Pits Right Hand Against Left]

Delving into genetics has not yet explained away the extreme bias toward human right-handedness either, though hints of inheritance emerge. The chance of two left-handed parents having left-handed offspring, for instance, is around 25 percent, compared with 10 percent in the general population. A gene discovered in 2007, called LRRTM1, shows up more in lefties as well.

Paws to claws

Researchers have also looked to other animals to help them solve the human riddle of handedness. Many mammals, including our closest living relatives the chimpanzees, bonobos and gorillas, exhibit a preferred hand. So, too, do dogs.

"Your dog is one-pawed," said Carey. "If you force a dog to reach for a toy through an aperture, it will tend over many trials to use one paw over the other."

But this breakdown for left versus right in Fido as well as Coco is about 50-50, eschewing humans' overwhelmingly right-sided population-handedness. That even-handed, if you will, split extends to non-mammals such as fiddler crabs, whose enlarged claw for fighting develops on either side in equal measure.

"Sinister" lefties?

Whatever handedness' origin in humankind, it's clearly been around a long time. For example, cave paintings have shown the occasional lefty ancestor clutching a spear.

The relative scarcity of left-handedness, as with many "otherisms" in human history, has provoked cultural superstition and discrimination. Even just several decades ago in the U.S., parents and teachers still snatched pencils out of children's left hands and tried making lefties write like a righty.

The ancient prejudice against lefties remains embedded in the English language. "Sinister" shares a Latin root with "sinistral," meaning "in regards to the left side," and "left" derives from the Anglo-Saxon word for "weak."

For biological reasons yet unknown, lefties might indeed be slightly cursed. That gene associated with left-handedness, LRRTM1, is also associated with the mental disease schizophrenia. Correlations have been found for left-handedness and illnesses such as inflammatory bowel disease and alcoholism.

On the other hand, some evidence points to lefties possessing on average more intelligence or artistic giftedness than righties, perhaps given their alternative brains. Interestingly, four out of the last seven presidents have been left-handers, including Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, George H.W. Bush and Gerald Ford.

Living as a lefty

Overall, handedness ­— inasmuch as it offers insight into an individual's cerebral and bodily abilities, tendencies and deficits — is just one of many elements in a complicated picture.

"There is not a one-to-one correlation. …. It is not as if you are left-handed [so] you will become brilliant or get a disease," said Amar Klar, a geneticist at the National Cancer Institute's Center for Cancer Research in Frederick, Md.

Although the stigma against left-handedness has largely lifted around the world, Carey pointed out that righties still have it easier.

"Poor lefties have to live in a right-handed world," Carey told LiveScience. "The fly in your trousers is right-handed; even a can opener is right-handed."

Did you know Obama is left-handed?

Anyway, I wish you all the very best and hope that you have a great day,

Yours sinisterly,


Sue replied: Too funny! Thanks for the information. I was recently told that left handedness was a result of too much testosterone in utero! haven't found any evidence to back that one up...although it was a PhD scientist geek who told me that gem..all I can say is thank god we don't live in the 14th-16th centuries. I don't think I'd like being burned at the about you? the pattern stuff is my own attempt at trying to explain why I'm so illogical..just observations about how my own brain seems to function (or not). -S

The light is just coming up outside and when I looked there was snow on the ground! Not much, just a dusting but enough to make everything look clean and fresh..I love snow when it's just fallen and the world is bright and shiny! I capture, just briefly, that feeling from childhood that the" world is your oyster" and you have to go out and plunge into it...before it melts and is gone. I'm feeling somewhat nostalgic daughter is at her father's house so it's just me and the cat..and apparently you (online).-s

You obviously are at an advantage upstate in terms of the light dusting. Here in the Bronx the roads are wet but it is probably from a light rain-shower from long-gone clouds because the sky is clear and blue and it promises to be a bright, sunny morning.

Shouldn't it be "the cat and I"? I guess either construct is OK. Yours apparently and affectionately, Neil

Oh nit- pick nit- pick: she and I, her and I, the cat and I....(she's currently curled up in a ball sleeping the sleep of the innocent) grammar has never been my strong suit...enjoy the sun. Hopefully it lasts. Affectionately, me or I or ....???

To Susan: me or I or meow?

To Neil: I was having a "I have to listen to Christmas music" moment earlier and realized I have no access to music in this house! I don't get the channels on TV that play music (too cheap to pay more), and the only stereo I have is about 15 years old that I bought for my daughter years ago and is currently residing in the makeshift shed i call a "garage", Soo, off I go to the shed..15 minutes later having dug through seven years accumulation of (oh I might need that some day stuff) I located its battered, dirt encrusted carcass. Lovingly dragged it inside, cleaned it off, dug out my collection of Celtic Christmas and Baroque music CD's didn't work....probably the reason it was put out to pasture in the shed in the first i had to resort to youtube and the very faint speakers that are part of this laptop..I MUST get an Mp player and some kind of speaker for the new year! You must think me barbaric! I actually love music can't fathom why I don't have anything to play it on in here....very odd realization...

to susan

The good news is that your thirst for music is probably symptomatic of a healthy frame of mind, at least that has been my experience. Maybe, also, the fact that you do not have at hand the means of playing music is telling you something...

I wish I could share my sound with you.

It's not state of the art but my 2 small Sony stereo speakers which are hooked up to my computer pack quite a punch. The speakers in my TV monitor are not bad either but I've not figured out how to get them working with the computer. (Trying to be creative) Do you have a set of headphones or a phone headset that will plug into the computer? For the New Year all you really need is a pair of speakers that can be plugged into your laptop which will act as your MP3 player, assuming it has a CD/DVD drive (does it have a DVD drive? I'm interested because I have been building up a folder of MP4 videos from YouTube which I was going to copy onto a DVD for you but that is only going to work if you have a DVD player, either in your laptop or through your TV. Come to think of it, if you have a DVD player there is at least a possibility that it will play CDs, if you have try one, it will either work or not, I don't think you can damage it.

yes, my daughter told me to get speakers for the laptop too. I wish I had done it already...I was working on a painting and wanted to hear music playing..The laptop does have a CD player. I think it should act as a DVD player too..I'll try one of Laura's netflix DVD's and see if it works or not. In the meantime there is always the Yule Log on channel 11...although their playlist is astonishingly awful..but beggars can't be choosers. I'm off to Connecticut around noon. We spend Christmas with my sister-in-law's family. I've known them all since we were little kids. They live within a heartbeat of Newtown (will be a little strange to be over there). Be of good cheer and i hope you have a good time today. It's been fun sharing Christmas morning with you! - Just to be sure..are we still going to the Met Thursday? I don't think you ever said yea or nay?? let me know if it still works for you. -S

I make it 48 hours 10 minutes and 47 seconds from now, give or take a few seconds.

The answer is "yes". N

OH! I'm not quite the time keeper you are but great! Thanks for the choral music that hits the "spot". i have been yearning for music. It was a big part of my life growing up. My father's mother was a concert pianist in her day 1920'2-30's and my dad always had symphonies playing..It adds so much color to the world i does feel like the springtime of my life is arriving after some pretty rough weather...-S

The perfect sketch for the technically challenged

Dec 25, 2012, 11:04 AM

to susan You will like this:

Neil PS The precision was for emphasis, as a general rule I'm not big into timekeeping

Later, on the evening of Christmas Day Sue sent this one, entitled "STUFFED" oh my, the problem with holidays is everyone stuffs you to the gills! Just returned from my whirlwind trip to Ridgefield CT. It's nice to be with a crowd of people you know really well and then it's just as nice to get the hell out of there and back home! Did you go anywhere? I hope you had an enjoyable day. The snow disappeared as quickly as it came..c'est la vie..-S

Hi Sue and Happy Boxing Day (almost, as I type, maybe actually, as you read),

I am glad that you had a fun day with your family. My day was very quiet but OK. I don't mind quiet Christmases where I am exercising choices, there have been one or two which turned out that way other than through my choosing and that was not so good. I will not bore you with the blow by blow account but there are one or two minor achievements buried there including a nice email exchange with my son which I will follow up with a Skype call when he is back in Cambridge and the uploading of several hours worth of music videos onto the Kindle device I won at a raffle a Foxwoods around this time last year. I had tried a few times to get music or videos onto it but Amazon didn't make it easy to get non-Amazon "stuff" onto it and somehow I couldn't get things into the right format. Today, however, it all magically came together and so I now have lots of things to listen to on my next long spell away from the cottage. In the course of doing that I found a new song that I like which I had not heard before. The version I first heard was by Linda Ronstadt, whose singing I like a lot - I even saw her live at a charity concert in Newark some years ago, she is very talented. The song is called "Feels Like Home" and I have (now) heard versions by several other artistes, including Bonnie Raitt, but the song seems to be a perfect match for Linda's voice and so hers is the one I will append. It is apparently from a musical called "Faust' which I had not even heard of (shows my ignorance of the live show music field - there was a time in the 80s when I saw a few in London - the usuals, Cats, Evita, Phantom, Les Miserables - but then I started to travel and somehow lost touch with the stage world. Faust interests me, though, I will need to check out the soundtrack. Anyway here's the link:

PS Glad the English (and Welsh) hymns worked for you.

Sue replied: That was truly beautiful. i believe it was part of the soundtrack for a pretty sad movie about a young girl who had cancer..(My Sister's Keeper) but it's still beautiful just on its own..i loved Linda Ronstadt long ago. i don't hear much about her these days. She has one of those "pure" voices that can just pierce you...I liked her partnering with Emmy Lou Harris another beautiful voice.So, Happy Boxing Day to you as well. I always thought the English held boxing matches the day after Christmas, when I was blissfully ignorant..It created quite a visual image I can assure you! " Hello Auntie Joan", (KABLOW!) Happy Boxing Day! Oh you English, you're so eccentric! -s

I'm noticing you like beautiful voices so here are two of my favorites..(I hope I'm getting the hang of this cut and paste thing) If not, it's Emmylou Harris and Sarah MacGlaughlan(sp?) singing "Angel" - S

Very nice. Sarah's version is among the 100+ tracks I transferred onto my Kindle yesterday and have (so far unsuccessfully) been trying to connect together on a DVD. The other Sarah track I have on there is this one:

Some other EmmyLou duets:

and a Judy Collins track:

Happy St Stephen's Day, Susan

It sounds so much more elegant than "stuffed", don't you think?

Here's another Boxing Day tradition for you: (courtesy of Wikipedia) "Boxing Day is a popular day in the UK and U.S. for mounted fox hunters. Despite fox hunting being banned in the UK by the Hunting Act since 2004, Boxing Day remains the biggest meet of the year for most hunts, who use Drag hunting instead of live quarry." Does this mean that the poor foxes have to dress up as vixens and get chased by foxy hounds? That could be an even funnier sight than your duelling aunties. The song was written by Randy Newman for what I think was just an album called Faust, I don't see any reference to it having been taken to the stage. James Taylor played God and it starred both Linda Ronstadt and Bonnie Raitt. I'm not sure but I think that Bonnie may have sung Seems Like Home on the original. It was released by Linda in March 1995 on an album of the same name. I haven't seen a reference to it being used in a film soundtrack but it certainly would fit. Just as an FYI it seems that our Myers Briggs profiles are a perfect match. It is a couple of decades since I did the test, way back in my corporate days, but my profile is/was INTJ:

From Neil: It has not come up in our exchanges but, for the record, I greatly admire good teachers and see the job, when done well, having the potential to bring about positive change and impact humanity well beyond the immediate context. The ripples can spread long and far, over generations. Not to be underestimated.

From Sue: I believe in the saying about "standing on the shoulders of others" to learn how to be a better teacher. My mother was a HS English teacher and I had an Aunt who taught what used to be called Civics , now social studies. They were truly inspiring teachers( and people) and helped me see what teaching is really about..nurturing the love of learning in young folk. They can learn many things on their own but, "how" to learn and to appreciate and want to develop your own learning for your own sake is the most fundamental.. that's why the bureaucracy and politicians will never "get it". A statistical score represents nothing but a snapshot of that person at a given time, it does not show what they are truly capable of doing.. .(sorrry, tendency to get up on soapbox)....-S Enjoying the music by the way...thanks


Petula Clark started her career in radio in WW2. This video is from a show she did in 2010 at the age of 78. She turned 80 last month and I think did a couple of 80th birthday concerts. Absolutely amazing.

These 2 are from a concert in London a year earlier: Cliff Richard was the first of the UK superstars to clock up 50 years of performing, at least a year ahead of the Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who etc. He was born in 1940 and started perfoming in 1958. This video is from a couple of years ago when he was in his late 60's. He is gay but managed to stay in the closet until a few years ago and even now declines to talk about his sexuality when interviewed.

On December 26th I forwarded to Sue this weather advisory which I had received from the Parks Department:

Good Afternoon:

How else would we close 2012 than with some more inclement weather – it has been quite a year – violent thunderstorms, tornadoes, and Hurricane Sandy.

The Forecast is calling for some severe weather for later today and tomorrow – please use extreme caution at the sites as there remain a number of damaged trees that could be further compromised from this approaching storm.

The forecast is calling for:

Forecasters are tracking a powerful winter storm heading toward the tri-state area that could make post-holiday travel treacherous and complicate the commute Wednesday and Thursday for people back to work after Christmas.

The storm is expected to move in after lunchtime, and get messy quickly.

Meteorologists say the system will bring a heavy sleet and snow mix or heavy rain, depending on the track. Intense winds, downed wires and localized flooding are possible with this storm.

Rain is expected to develop Wednesday afternoon, with a wintry mix forming over parts north and west of the city. Heavy precipitation is expected Wednesday night into Thursday morning. The city is expected to see mostly a mix of freezing rain and sleet, while areas further north and west could see up to 8 inches of snow.

Forecasters predict moderate snow mixing with heavy sleet and rain, moderate coastal flooding and damaging winds of up to 60 mph for the city, Long Island and the coast. Nearby suburbs in Westchester and Fairfield counties could experience heavy rain along with sleet and snow with damaging winds. The possibility for ice accumulation is also possible, especially in Sullivan, Duchess and Ulster counties.

A high wind warning is in effect for most of the area Wednesday evening to Thursday morning. The National Weather Service also issued a flood watch for northeast New Jersey from Wednesday evening to Thursday morning as meteorologists predict up to 2 inches of rainfall could sock the area.

Seas on coastal Long Island could peak at 15 feet during high tide, so Sandy-weary residents are advised to take additional precautions to prevent flooding in their already storm-ravaged homes. Another round of high tide flooding is expected to affect parts of Queens and the Jersey shore in the morning, with swells of 6.5 to 8 feet possible in areas like Sandy Hook and Freeport.

On Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 1:42 PM, P. Neil Ralley <> wrote:

My first instinct was to ignore this and pray but that probably is not a smart thing to do.

As far as I can tell Manhattan will be fine by late morning. The wind will begin to drop around 6am and there is not even rain forecast. That said I have no clue what shape New Palz and Poughkeepsie will be in, both being significantly "to the north and west of the City".

Over to you, Sue.


On Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 2:48 PM, susan parise <> wrote:

yeah.. I'm a bit nervous about it...we're supposed to get ice, sleet , rain and snow!!!as if one of those wasn't enough..I'll play it by ear. Unfortunately the train is in P'OK and I'm a good 30 min and a bridge away from it... This is beginning to take on epic-ly absurd proportions now. What did we ever do to the gods to provoke them in this fashion..really! I'll get back to you, .just in case, how does Friday work? I don't even care anymore about the stupid museum crowds. -S

On Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 3:37 PM, P. Neil Ralley <> wrote:

I'm much happier being proactive than reactive in these situations but alas I do not have the luxury of a choice here.

Friday is OK, as is Saturday, as is Sunday but sooner would be nicer.... Looking on the bright side I have not the slightest doubt you are worth every second of the wait. N

On Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 3:43 PM, susan parise <> wrote:

I have to agree...waiting it out is the sensible thing to do...(i hate being an adult)..I'm quite sure you're worth the wait too...and it would be nice to arrive in one piece ! -s

On Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 3:48 PM, P. Neil Ralley <> wrote:

Is that a definite 'no' to tomorrow or a 'probably no, assuming that the snow and ice arrives per the forecast'? Either is OK, just clarifying..


On Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 4:05 PM, susan parise <> wrote:

Oh sorry, lack of clarity is my issue at times. I think I'll" go for it" if the ice /sleet and heavy snow is out of the picture. The local news says mostly rain/snow showers and that's easy to deal with...I'll let you know before I decide to go. Most of the mess is due to occur tonight. -S

On Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 4:14 PM, P. Neil Ralley <> wrote:

That's great, (genuinely) hope always trumps no hope.

I can't think of a suitable introduction to this, just enjoy...

susan parise <>Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 4:23 PM

To: "P. Neil Ralley" <>

I WISH I lived in Hawaii right now! that was too funny...-S

From Sue: So this will be my prediction for tomorrow:

Hope I'm right! -sue

I hope you are right too!


Well, I'm up , my driveway got plowed about an hour ago. There is a lot of snow on the ground and on my car...I will assess shortly the likelihood of being able to get on the road. I'm thinking I can but maybe not as early as we originally planned. I may need another hour or so for things to get plowed and salted etc. I'm optimistic! (always).. -S

Good Morning, Sue,

Just take whatever time you need and keep me posted. I feel singularly bereft of any musical or humourous distraction, it's as though I'm letting the side down. Neil

well, I couldn't think of any suitable "the plow is here and I'm feelin' good" songs either.... I looked at the train schedule and I'll aim for a 9:30 which gets me in at 11. Not too far off in time....-S

Sounds great, more than. If anything changes just call my mobile, as long as I'm not in the subway I will pick up.


OK I have that # with me. Just dug out the car and pathways..whew! Glad I started going to the gym again! It's about 6-8 inches but now it's turning to drizzle and not cold at all. Maybe it'll all be gone by the time I get back!-S

one more I'll stand near the ticket booth closest to the grand staircase, i can't remember if there is one? I'll be on the left (in honor of our mutual lefthandedness)? I wear a bright purple ski jacket type coat so you can't miss me! (It looks good with silver hair lol) Anyway I'll be the one scanning the hordes unless you get there before me...-s

So, that was who I would be looking for in the Met - Purple coat and silver hair!

I'm not sure if there are any references to our date in later emails but in case not I will provide a brief description albeit based on my less-than-perfect recollections. In the Met we looked at the Christmas tree with all of its decorations, from there I think we headed to the American Wing, chatting along the way, as much as it is possible to chat while looking around a museum, and after seeing the stained glass panels by Tiffany and LaFarge we wandered into the musical instruments gallery. After a couple of hours we were both tired - the Met will do that to you, there is so much to see - and I suggested that we might head out and get some lunch. The nearest subways to the Met are on Lexington Avenue and I think I had done some research and found an Indian restaurant somewhere downtown. I have tried many times recently to recall exactly which one and where exactly but I would need to go down there and look and these days I do not go into the City very often. Guessing I would say that it could have been around 10th street but it could have been 18th where I think there is a cluster of Indian restaurants. Anyway it turned out to be OK. Because it was after 2 o'clock we had the place to ourselves and it was buffet-style so there were a number of dishes to partake of and we talked...and talked...and talked. I don't have a clear recollection of the conversation but we definitely exchanged some details about our lives and previous relationships. I learned that Sue had put up with what sounded like a bad marriage for 30 years or more. She said that it had not been all bad but I was sure she had not been treated as I thought she should have been. She had gone through a bankruptcy, largely caused by a lack of communication which eventually led to unpaid taxes and IRS liens. What seemingly brought matters to a head was when Frank, her ex-, brought home a lady he had met online and was having a relationship with. This seems to have been the final straw and Sue moved out and (finally) began to entertain divorce proceedings. She also told me about her parents - her father served in the Airforce in WW2 and later went into advertising and communications - her mother a teacher and avid reader, something she passed along to Sue who I later discovered to be the most prolific reader I have ever known. She had a brother, Rob, with whom she was very close, who was married with two adult children and living in northern New Jersey. She told me that the marriage break-up, and probably the marriage itself, put her off the idea of having another relationship for at least a couple of years and then she began online dating with what sounded like not huge success. Afterwards, much later, Sue told me that it was over lunch that she decided that she liked me, I think a lot, and made a decision to go forwards. At some point she told me that she needed to head back as she did not want to be picking her car up from Poughkeepsie Station late at night. I would guess it could have been 4 or thereabouts before we left the restaurant and caught the subway back uptown. I have to confess that, to my shame, I did the lazy "practical" thing and stayed on the #4 subway which was going to the Bronx and let her get off and go to catch her train at Grand Central. The gentlemanly thing, of course, would have been to accompany her to her train before going back to the Bronx.

So, from here we can resume emails for a while: I think that I was first, around 7.30 pm that same day, with an email entitled


Hi Sue,

I have no idea what the protocol is and who should say what and to whom and when, and frankly I really don't care. I just want to let you know that before we met my expectations in respect of you, based on our email exchanges, were beginning to seem more than a little unrealistic but having met you I can honestly say that they were actually exceeded. I could very happily have spent several more hours with you and still have been left wanting for more. Rightly or wrongly I left the timing up to you and I hope that was OK. The HR analyst in me could provide you with solid facts to back up my observations and I will happily go through them sometime. For now suffice it to say that you are a very interesting and attractive lady and I would very much like the opportunity to get to know you better. At very least I would like to hear your perceptions, what are your feelings? Thankyou for making all the effort to come down to the city and spend time with me, Sincerely, Neil

Her first one, sent around the same time, was entitled:"ho me again home again jiggity jig" Thanks Neil that was fun today. I am now officially exhausted, which is hard to do to me because I'm the "energizer bunny"! Thanks again . we'll talk soon I'm sure.-Sue

From Neil Something I know you will appreciate: Some years ago Graham Chapman, one of the founder members of the Monty Python team, died rather quickly and unexpectedly of a form of throat cancer, at only age 48 - maybe not surprising as he was both an alcoholic and and a pipe smoker.Anyway his fellow comedians deliberately avoided appearing at his actual funeral, out of respect for close friends and family. However, sometime soon afterwards they arranged a memorial service and if you have not seen it already I think you will enjoy this clip. It reminds me a bit of Peter Sellers specifying that the music at his funeral should include 'In the Mood' by Glen Miller, which he actually hated.Another funeral story was about Winston Churchill who, in common with any UK dignitary who would be entitled to a State Funeral, actually got to participate in the planning, long before it would actually become reality. Anyway Churchill apparently specified that the cortege would pass by Waterloo station because he reasoned that he would die before De Gaulle (with whom he felt either rivalry or hostility) and De Gaulle would almost certainly attend the event. Churchill just wanted to rub De Gaulle's (rather large) nose in it because Waterloo station was, of course, named after the Battle of Waterloo.Anyway here's Graham Chapman's memorial service: and (not quite related) here's Cleese on Palin: the DVD you will find a short edited highlights of Churchill's funeral set to very moving music. It is worth watching. If I had to award a Man of the Centennial Churchill would have my vote for the 20th century and you will see from the shots from his funeral just how well respected he was in the UK.

Hi Neil, I hope it didn't seem like i was "running away"!( I just wanted to get home before it got too late. It's a 2 hr trip)

I also enjoyed talking to you in that quiet little restaurant. The MET almost did me in with the crowds. I think we had a good time together and I felt completely comfortable with you. You have some very interesting ideas about things and I really was interested in what you had to say... sometimes when I meet people I have this feeling that I need to keep the whole conversation I'm" on ". Fortunately, I never felt like that today. I think the lead-up was also interesting and you are pretty much what I thought you'd be , which was a huge relief! - PS (I never set much store by protocol in these things ....)looking forward to further "getting to know you"....Sue

Hi Sue,

No, I didn't sense you were running away. If anything I did some running of my own by allowing 'practical' and 'sensible' considerations over-rule my natural instincts and staying on that stupid subway train. The "right" thing to do, and what I would have done without batting an eyelid in my teens, 20's, 30's and probably 40's was to have accompanied you to your train or at least the platform and Grand Central and, who knows, maybe had a Brief Encounter-style parting! Instead I did the boring, staid, totally unimaginative thing and stayed on the subway train. I think that you said somewhere in your profile or the questionnaire that "clinging" is an undesirable attribute (and, based on the one or two glimpses into your past that you shared, I can understand a little of why that might be) but it's no excuse. I have a romantic side and it behoves me to show it from time to time. You must tell me which of my ideas you found interesting so that I can expand on them. I have a lot of thoughts and observations about you that I am close to sharing but I'm not quite there yet. Overall I have a very strong sense that you are like a very precious jewel that has been neither well cared for nor properly appreciated and yet despite all of that you still sparkle and shine and that shows amazing strength of character. You are truly a very special person, Susan. Let me know when you have an idea for "further getting to know you" and have a very nice evening. I am sorry that I was unable to figure out how to get the 154 or so MP4 videos to play sequentially but I guess you will probably be quite happy that IT is not my forte. Bon nuit mon cher, Neil

Oh don't beat yourself up i didn't expect you to get off the train, (although secretly, i kind of wished you had too) we get older some of our "patterns" stay firmly ingrained. Sensible certainly does win the day more often then not..I hope I didn't talk too much about "the past" I try to avoid that, one; because most people don't want to hear about it that much and two it still has the power to upset me, somewhat. I actually like it when people tell me their history because I love hearing people's stories. You obviously, have a good ear for them too. Accordingly I guess I need to say that I've become more guarded and promised myself i will take things slowly when i meet people now, especially after the last debacle. You don't have to hit yourself over the head more then twice to realize something's not working!. I don't seem to make good choices when it comes to who i choose to be with. O f course there haven't been very many of them so i guess it's not too bad. Interestingly, after the whole cancer thing I feel less of an urgency to find someone right away.....which you would think might be the opposite.I finally realize that I need to think about what I need and not try to be whatever the other person wants me to be (boy does that NOT work) The thing you said about the jewel was very touching by the way..never had anyone say THAT to me before...

Well, how do you feel? Being married three times had to be intense. We are certainly an interesting mixture of experiences aren't we? - S

Now I am beating myself up! Not only did I do the boring, staid and even out of character 'thing' but, horror of horrors, it also got noticed and was a source of disappointment (shrivels up into a tiny ball with hands clasped tightly around head - oh the joys of being an English introvert...)

You may not know it but you would not have escaped without giving up a little about your past. As it happens it came out naturally and without much coaxing but if I didn't have a little insight (for me) it could be the 800lb gorilla in the room. You are right to question. I guess you have heard Einstein's definition of insanity which is doing the same (negative) thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome.

The jewel thing is only a very small part of the total picture. What I can tell you with absolute certainty is that if whoever has a relationship with you treats you with the love, respect and admiration that you so richly deserve the rewards, in terms of the relationship for both parties will be just incredible. You have SO much love in you and the amount of energy and effort you have expended in negative relationships can only be the tip of an iceberg, just think what can be unleashed in a positive situation, again on both sides. Whether that ends up being me or someone else does not alter the potential. And the really fun and amazing thing is that you have only got a vague sense of what that potential is.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to give you a full written account of my 3 marriages, all in good time maybe, but what I will tell you about the 3rd, which is really the most important insofar as it relates to my emotional maturity, is that for me it was very much a marriage of love and respect and I honestly and seriously intended it to be my last marriage (it nearly was in 2001, lol) I was 100% faithful, 100% loyal and showed Eileen the utmost respect. My biggest problem was underachieving (we touched on some of that today) and in how I dealt with or didn't deal with that and how Eileen reacted to the situation. There was certainly a lack of clear communication, the situation was probably not helped by my alcoholism though I was a very functional alcoholic drinking, for the most part, by way of self-medication almost like taking sleeping pills - I didn't drink and drive, didn't drink and work, didn't drink to excess while out or in socializing. Nevertheless it probably had a debilitating effect on me and my relationship(s). I will underscore that I gave up over 5 years ago of my own volition without rehab though I was helped by a therapist. At first (on the insistence of my therapist, also called Sue) I did attend some AA meetings and I still feel that is a support structure I can avail myself of, OR give back to at some point. However I found that I was able to maintain my abstinance and truthfully feel better for it (and feel able to function far better and be a much more loving partner in a relationship) because of it. However, that was all too late to save the marriage and the divorce, which Eileen insisted on dragging through the courts at great legal expense, proved lengthy and was acrimonious.

(Not really joking) If I have another committed relationship, rather like you with your car, I am reasonably certain that it will be my last one and I intend it to be my best.

I'm not looking for any immediate commitment - not offering and not expecting - but I know what is possible and I would like to create the environment to see if we (the dreaded "w" word) can grow this orchid and win a prize with it at some hypothetical horticultural show..

I know I have touched a nerve but I'm not looking for instant results and so no need to panic or feel pressurised, other than in a very nice way.


oh dear, come on get out of the rolled up ball it's not a big deal! thanks for the kind words. i've always reacted to things very spontaneously and without much regard for my own self-interest so I'm re-learning how to be a little bit more self protective. that's basically it....I also self-medicated with alcohol during a very bad section of my life. My mother died and we went bankrupt all within 3 months and as you can guess there was no emotional support for any of it from my husband (big surprise) in fact i had to handle the bankruptcy completely on my own while my mother was dying,, but i was using alcohol to deaden myself (I referred to it as taking a vacation from my life) It was awful. It also didn't involve my functioning in my public life and naturally, I did it somewhat secretly for a number of years, but i feel guilty about my daughter (she was about 10). After my mother died i got myself into therapy. It's a funny thing but I haven't got the slightest interest in drinking. I can have a glass of wine and never want another. It fulfilled a function at that time and place and after i dealt with things there was never a need for it again. In all the years since I've never felt even the slightest urge to drink. So now we have that one as a shared experience..i get it.. s

The following morning:

OK, Enough sturm und drang here! we need to lighten up! i just heard from a good friend of mine who lost her father a few weeks ago. She was one of my "supporters" during the cancer time so i want to be there for her too. We're going to see Les Miserables, not sure that's the cheeriest movie to see but she's a drama teacher so off we go! have you seen that? I've been inundating myself with the music you gave me so I'm going to be in good form to see a "musical". I hope you're enjoying what might actually turn out to be a sunny day! Do you get out for walks anywhere? The Bronx is not noted for its recreational areas except maybe Van Cortlandt Park , I used to watch the West Indian teams playing Cricket (not sure i spelled that it really spelled like the bug?) Anyway, it was amazing to watch them. By the way, I know as little about that game as I do about Baseball. They both employ a bat right? (sacrilege in some circles) No one in my family were ever sports people we were always book tell me something about your childhood? You had more siblings so that had to be interesting. My best friend growing up was one of 6. It was the noisiest and most rambunctious group I'd ever encountered! Did you grow up in a town, city, outlying suburbia or in the wild? and where exactly? too many questions? Ok, whenever the spirit moves you and whichever you want to answer. I wouldn't want to create a distraction from you writing the next chapter in your BOOK! (just a little nudge) have a good day, sue

What is Sturm and Drang? That one is totally new to me.

Interesting coincidence about Les Mis. The lady who introduced me to Louise Hay was a beautiful Australian I met on an overnight flight from Singapore to Melbourne. She was (hopefully still is) an incredible person and we had a brief affair to the extent that is possible from a distance of over 10,000 miles. I think our association, though brief, had a profound effect on both of us. Anyway she was a true music person and was constantly singing or speaking the praises of Les Miserables which I think was her favourite musical. She nagged me constantly to see it and be uplifted by it. I did eventually see it in London and I found a good soundtrack on youTube that I have been playing in the background as I have been typing. It is entirely appropriate that you should be seeing Les Miserables today, I am sure that Pennie wants you to. Yes, the bug is really spelled like the game (lol) and if it is no-one (singular) it should be 'was' - this time there is no doubt! Cricket usually confuses most non-English people, and some Brits too. Unlike baseball it is actually played with 2 bats. Here is probably the clearest description of the rules of cricket (sometimes fondly referred to as the "In and Out Game"): The Rules of Cricket

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game! There is quite an age-gap between myself and my 2 older brothers. Andrew, the oldest, is about 7 years older and Sandy is about 5 years older and so it was more a question of watching them 'do' stuff rather than playing 'with' them. The influence they probably had was to help make me somewhat 'older than my years', I probably did modify my behaviour to fit in and not be written off as 'just a kid'. Andrew was the more interesting of the two. He had airguns and would shoot wood pigeons and play around with home-made explosives - nothing large-scale, you understand, but he did get up to some fun and games. You should hear him talk about it someday, especially some of the practical jokes. I wasn't really that close to him in childhood but have grown closer to him and his wife, Patricia is a really wonderful, warm and generous person. They have a daughter, Rebecca, who is married with 3 children and lives near Paris. I was born and raised in Carlisle, a small city near the Scottish border. My father was a GP (doctor) who had graduated from the University of Edinburgh and served as a medic in WW2 - he was in the 51st Highland Regiment under Montgomery and saw action at El Alamein, Sicily, D-Day, Battle of the Bulge and Germany. He was a quiet man and life took its toll. He became alcoholic and reached crisis point when he collided with a police car while drunk and on duty. Not immediately but eventually he agreed to go into rehab and then early retirement. He died of a major stroke when he was 66. I should add that he was also a heavy smoker. We lived in a very upmarket and desirable district of Carlisle, less than a mile from the city centre (walkable) and in a neighbourhood of larger, detatched, houses. The house I spent the first 11 years in had 5 bedrooms and there was a 3-roomed surgery attached. When I was about 11 my parents had a house built on an adjacent plot of land that they controlled (leased not owned). It was actually slightly smaller and had a smaller garden but no attached surgery (that other house was sold to another partner in what was then a 3-doctor partnership. My mother was very house-proud and so pets were a no-no because they were far too "messy". I think I'm still way ahead of you on words and so, for now, that's yer lot. Neil

sturm und drang is, I think, German for storms and bringing things to the surface, emotionally in this case, I could be spelling it wrong or am completely mixed up about memory is beyond abysmal these days..yes chemo brain is real! I googled and nothing came maybe i'm making it up out of the whole cloth as it were....You sure have traveled a lot! I ordered a louise Hay book today on Amazon about Empowering Women. It sounded like something i could use .Then there is Cricket, the game rules sound like, with a bit of tweaking, they could apply to baseball too. American football is beyond my comprehension altogether, all that pushing and shoving up and down a field and the ball shape is preposterous! Who come up with these things? Native American games were designed as training tools for hunting and warfare I suppose, what does baseball train people to do?? or Cricket??? odd. Thanks for taking the time for the bio. It helps to visualize where a person "comes from". So I guess I'll put the 64K question out do we arrange to see each other in the 3D again? got any thoughts about that? unless you would prefer to stay "on the radio" some more?-s

THIS IS YOU! Susan, one last thing before bedtime - or maybe after in your case - I really knew it as soon as I discovered this on Wednesday though I couldn't tell you without sounding more than a little bit crazy - we'd not met, after all. I've played it a lot these past 36 hours and, as your story unfolds, it becomes clearer and clearer that this is you. It could hardly be a more perfect fit:

From Sue: I just saw this now, I felt an instant "recognition" about it when you sent it before but didn't want to say anything in case I mis-read it...I often don't pick up signals correctly (what an understatement)...thanks

From Neil: ??? One of us sent a blank....

From Sue: sometimes i hit the wrong arrow...

From Neil: arrow? are there injuns around??

hi neil, I just found out I don't have jury duty at all next week..they cancelled court! so I'm off the hook for six more years. On another front I seem to have a mouse problem. God I hate it when they start showing up. I hate killing things but this one is really bold! He/she was on my kitchen counter staring at me eyeball to eyeball and just turned and sauntered it was no big deal. The cat is useless..she has no teeth and she's half i'm off to the Agway to buy some traps. This house is such a sieve I can't plug up all the holes and hidey places...Eck! Does the Poe Cottage suffer from this? I hope not! Well with that pleasant news I wish you a better day! -s

Good Morning Sue!

I am surprised that they let you off so easily with the jury service but I will not question your good fortune. I have to confess that I'm not the world's best pest controller. The live ones don't really scare me, startle perhaps but not scare. However, I'm a bit squeamish when it comes to dealing with dead animals - just about anything warm blooded. At school I somehow bypassed the dissection classes in biology but I think my sensitivity in that area pretty much ruled out medicine as a career possibility, I think to the disappointment of my father who saw me as a 'last chance' in terms of following his career direction. The cottage is surprisingly mouse-free - probably because there's not much food for them! There was one in the basement apartment a few months ago but I think it snuck in when I left the outside door open and there was a storm outside. There is a pest contol guy (Solomon) who comes around at the beginning of every month and puts down glue traps but in the year or so I have been here there have only been one or two 'catchings'. Rats are a different story (yeek, she says) they are more commonplace but (so far) outside not in. Solomon baits traps around the cottage and generally the bait in at least 2 of the traps is eaten and on two occasions that I know of poisoned rats have staggered along the path and expired somewhere near the front door. The poison makes them disorientated and dehydrated and they die looking for a drink. The 2 that I have seen expired have been quite big and quite clean and manicured looking. There is a ginger cat which hangs around the cottage (outside, not in) but it seems street-wise enough not to eat the poisoned rats. N

YEEKS! I'd have a hard time with rats...this mouse looks like a pet store mouse (biggish, brown fur with a white belly) and since my daughter used to have them as pets long ago I have a hard time getting rid of them (too softhearted by far) but the alternative is to move out and let them take over..but i don't think that's going to happen. Did i mention the rather large black rat snake that lives in my basement? The snake used to be my mouse eradicator but seems to slipping up on the job! Well now, I've certainly made my house sound enticing haven't I? mice scampering about under foot, snakes lurking in the basement...I've also had bats fly down the chimney and hornets nests in the window's such a lovely little cottage in the woods...hark I hear the intrepid deer hunters firing off rounds at the deer in the woods. Is it still hunting season??? well enjoy your cozy nook and I'll do battle with the fauna in mine.. The snow is coming down in earnest now probably another 6-8 inches. it's making up for last year.-S


From Neil: Do you need affirmation? You shouldn't..

What is do-able? The weather forecast tomorrow is not good but it seems like Sunday and Monday will be fine. Doing something together at New Year might be nice. New Year, or Hogmanay, is a very Scottish event but somehow I have not really got strong memories of happy Hogmanays-gone-by the way I have with some Christmasses. That said I have no idea what we would do, or where, other than probably not Time Square. What would appeal to you? What would you feel 'safe' with? Sorry to pass the buck but I feel a need for guidance...

From Sue: haven't done anything at new years for years..and I've never heard of Hogmanay. Meeting on a holiday might be too much hubub, and feels a little overwhelming to me.. . I'd rather meet again on a more neutral day so Sunday seems better. Would you feel Ok coming here? We could have a more quiet visit that way...???back to you...

From Sue: I have a further enticement to get you up here..have you ever been inside the Vassar chapel? They have LaFarge windows! It's Sunday so I imagine it would be open (although with my luck they're closed for the holidays) I tried the Vassar website but they don't say anything about when it's open..

From Neil: You really didn't need to 'up the ante' , you are more than enough of an enticement for me though having an activity to at least aim for is a great idea.

I had not even heard of Vassar - had to look it up - and you may be right about it being closed but we can always check it out. What train would you like me to catch? N

From Sue: There's a 10:52 express out of GC , gets you here by 12:34. I'll whisk you off to lunch and then we can try our luck at the chapel. I actually know the former chaplain (I taught his daughter) but can't find his phne # (drat disorganization) but i'll keep trying. -S this should be fun....

make that 10:50, they changed the time in the newer schedule online.

Ok, I see it 10:50/12:32. This seems like a good plan...

From Neil on Saturday 29th December 9.14am: I just got back from a little walkabout and it is snowing steadily.

Your rat snake took me aback a little. At first I thought you meant rattlesnake, which would probably have been a leg-puller. So I looked it up and, needless to say, it turns out to be a common breed of snake. "Lifespan unknown". One has to wonder what yours lives on if it has grown too lazy to chase mice. I have to say that one of the things I enjoyed about the US was, and really still is, the variety of wildlife one finds, even in relatively well populated suburbs like Verona. In the garden there we had squirrels, possums, raccoons, skunks and deer. One year, in a neighbouring town, police had to tranquilize an 800lb black bear that had decided to rest up in a tree. I used to put food out for the smaller animals and birds. This was usually frowned upon but my view was always much better to feed them in the yard and get rid of the scraps rather than have the raccoons and skunks raid the dustbins - especially the raccoons which were quite ballsy and would stare humans down with those big eyes they have. Funniest to watch were the crows which are actually very smart birds. Did you know that when they have a surplus they will bury food, just like dogs do? They also cooperate with one another. When feeding in the garden one would usually act as lookout, from a vantage point on the garage roof. What (for me) was interesting was that when this happened one of the birds feeding would take food to the lookout. Still looking forward to my visit, you are going to have to work a lot harder to put me off....

From Sue: envy you having sidewalks to walkabout on. Here it's worth your life to take a walk in the streets, the cars go too fast. That's why we all take to Rail Trails. Crows are very interesting birds indeed. They also have a sense of humor. They've been observed taking clothespins off of a clothes line and cackling when the human tries frantically to take up the laundry. They will also call out to warn each other if they spot a gun. Their language has been studied and they have a wide range of calls that mean different things..(I've studied crows and their behavior with kids...) A favorite book I use to read aloud to my kids is Jean Craighead George's, Charlie's Raven about a boy who adopts a baby raven. Her best known book for kids is My Side of the Mountain, about a boy who runs away from the city and lives in the wild somewhere in the Catskills. That book has certainly fueled a lot of young imaginations! It's hard to ignore nature around here but at least I haven't had a bear show up on my doorstep! We have heard coyotes howling on really quiet nights and that's a little spine chilling but beautiful too. The snow is piling up but at least I don't have to go anywhere so my "house pets" and I will just enjoy it all from in here..-S

There now follows a break in emails because they were supplanted by mobile phone exchanges and (many) conversations in person....This section, covering Sunday 30th December and Monday 31st is "under construction" so let's move on to New Year's Day, 2013:

Hope you got home Ok and It's still standing. ....i miss you...-S

I'm home, missed an opportunity for a short-cut which I will tell you about later so that you can not miss it. House still standing and everything as I left it. Only tiny little cloud on my horizon is that I appear to have left my mobile somewhere along the way. Could be near your settee or dining table, in the car or otherwise had to be the restaurant (unlikely) or on the train (also unlikely I think). It is no big deal, as mentioned the phone is not the greatest, I pre-pay month to month so it can only be used to the extent of what credit it there, it's really just the short-term and the convenience factor. If you could look for it (or call it and listen!) I would at least know what I nned to do about it. If you are going to be visiting the Bronx in the near-term (yes that was an invitation) you can bring it otherwise maybe a piece of bubble-wrap and a first class stamp?

I should have started this with a thankyou but instead I will end on one...N

neil, i found the phone in the fast do you need it. I can send if next day mail ..or bring it on the weekend (is that near-enough-term?) that is if you want me to come that soon?? -S

Hi Sue,

There's really no difference between Thursday (earliest by mail) and the weekend. I really don't get much traffic on it and the important people can reach me on the land line in the cottage so the weekend is fine, if you are up for an *"adventure"*. Just as an FYI the short-cut I missed was the chance to get off at 125th st which would probably have saved half an hour or more. The subway station is right underneath the rail station and the 4 line stops there. My instincts are telling me that your coming down in daylight on Saturday might be best - a more gradual introduction to the conditions here - but we can noodle that one. My Saturday schedule is that I am open for tours from 10-4 but if you are around during that time I have lots of books for you to look at, some of which will definitely interest you and the computer has a real mouse, keyboard and a good-size screen if there is any work you want to bring with you. I don't think I have Word but I do have a full suite of Open Office which is about the same. Music is on-hand but you will have to use the headphones while any visitors are being shown around. Sunday is 1-5 which is quite civilised. The cottage is very warm and cozy, even to the point where I sometimes have to put on the AC to get the temp down! It's because the main boiler for the whole building is in the kitchen and it really is not set up to be economic. N

Don't worry I can deal with just about anything...I'd bring my laptop to write reports. Actually it would force me to do them! so, if I get off at 125th st i'd leave the station to get the #4 train? then Kingsbridge rd...i don't actually remember how to get to Poe Cottage; which streets etc..well you'll let me know i'm sure..sat am would be fine. -S

We can work out the details but it is very easy.

Came across this website via a tweet linking to the list of musicians who died in 2012 but the Jan1st blog entry may amuse you: N

And here's a follow-up to one of those ideas: i had a student one time tell me that her mother told her drinking from a can with a flip top would kill you if you didn't clean it. Her mother actually confirmed this story and was serious! makes you worry about the human race! -s

It was the black snake behind the toilet that had my imagination going....N

WATCH OUT! i did once find a skin shed near a heater vent (small one) and have seen a few in the basement...but not lately...

Don't be too quick to blame the snake, any skin sheds you find around the bed and couch over the next few days will probably be mine....

Here's Glen Cairn:

I can't believe i never heard of this place! I have heard of the Pitcairns and bryn athyn but didn't know what it was..interesting. ( I'll be on the lookout for your "shed" it's probably a different shape from the snake one).... -s

Glen Cairn is a great place for an (OK, ambitious) field trip.

Some links you might like:

thanks. I especially enjoyed the" weird" one (you knew i would) it was very comforting.(lol)....The Nine things was absolutely right on. I like this person's thinking and to see it in Forbes Mag of all places! -S

Good Morning, Sue, For some reason I have never fully understood the Bronx Historical Society (or to be more specific the one or two people who run it) is paranoid about the presence of a live-in person in the cottage becoming widely known. For this reason I am under strict instructions not to speak to journalists and am even supposed to skirt around the question if asked by visitors. Up to a point I can understand that I (or anyone performing my function) could become a target for sensationalist articles. For the most part I do tow the party line - I do not knowingly talk to journalists, though no-one can stop them taking a tour - and when asked where I live by occasional curious visitors I usually just say 'nearby' or 'not far from here'.

Every now and then some enterprising journalist will do an article about the 19 of us (according to the article) who occupy these properties around the City. This is the latest such article, which appeared in the NY Times last April. As you will see I do get a one-line mention, though not by name:

I must say that when I read the article I did feel a little bit 'special' to be one of only 19 in a city as large and important as New York...

Good article. I especially like reading the reader's comments after the article. One was complaining about hearing another story of "elitist jobs" which given your description of what your apartment is like and the amount of time you are required to spend there, had me laughing! People have such crazy interpretations about what they are reading (obviously thru their own personal lens). I have to take my laundry to the Laundromat (another elitist activity in someone's eyes I'm sure....What clean clothes! teachers get paid too much!) Enjoy this beautiful day...SUN! -S

Hi Neil, I saw this review in a friend's post on Facebook: BEST LES MIZ REVIEW: "Went to the movies with the wife. We saw this obscure movie I had never heard of, some French foreign film. They must have been giving away free tickets because the lines were out the door. Anyway, the movie starts and Wolverine is singing his guts out. then Catwoman starts crying and singing and it’s all very moving. The only problem was, the girl next to me, who had apparently read the book or something, starts singing along. it was very distracting. so Wolverine is on the run from the Gladiator because Catwoman had a baby at Borat’s house, but now she wants Wolverine to care for her. Time skip. A bunch of kids get shot, and in the end everyone dies. Four stars.”

Sounds like what I saw....-S, were you the "girl...who had apparently read the book or something....singing along"? Neil

By way of an aside the following was an email exchange between Sue and Pat, who I believe was the friend with whom she went to see Les Miserables. "Hi Pat, Have a good New Year...The fella I met in NY on Thursday has become the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. He came up on Sunday and didn't leave until Tuesday...the game of life is, Sue (PS his name is Neil)"

Pat responded: "I am thrilled to hear about the new love of your life staying with you for so long. Yes, I remember his name is Neil and even mentioned it on the voice mail I left for you this morning - guess you didn't get that. I had called wanting to know if you were into another matinee today, but that longing is now long gone.

Well, my dear Sue, it sounds as if 2013 has started off on a very positive note for you. With what 2012 was like, you deserve this/him! Do keep me posted.

Love, Pat"

From Neil - Hopefully you will have seen the one I send earlier with the teddy bear...

here are two more about the intrepid outside news reporter: It was a great series, wonderful characters and very funny scripts. They used to write the scripts each week, before the show was aired, incorporating real news items to give it authenticity. In a funny sort of way Alex reminds me of you. N

These are very funny. I was laughing hard all through the teddy bear makes you wonder about what might really happen "out there" during a news story..who knows ....

I loved it when the old lady, in an innocent-sounding deadpan voice says to the policeman "I haven't got a door" N

Hi Sue,

I'm going to attach a copy of something I was reading earlier - give it a quick once-over and tell me if it looks familiar in terms of what you were discussing with your diet lady. I'm guessing it will. The dietary regime you are destined for is more radical than I would have first envisioned but not really, when I reflect on it. It is nearer to a black and white situation than an "all things in moderation" approach at very least in terms of a body-cleansing situation, if not also forevermore. It would seem that we are probably not going to be eating out so much and going through the process of selecting a place to eat lunch is going to get a lot easier. You probably did good with the soup and maybe the Japanese was OK-ish but neither probably come up to the strict criteria of your new regime. Hard-to-forego items will include dairy (esp cheese) and chocolate but the transition is not going to be anywhere near as difficult as it would have been for you a year or two or more ago. Also, not to be underestimated, you have some positive trade-offs such as kissing and cuddling. Tell me what basic ingredients (esp breakfast things) I should be getting in. What kind of milk do you use? Do you want cereal? Dinner on Saturday I can probably figure out but you will need to guide me re breakfast and/or any snacks...

Oh my! I didn't mean for you to feel you need to change anything! Mainly all she said was to try and eat organic food. . I'll show you the information she gave me. I don't know that it has to be quite as rigid as you're thinking. I do have to wrap my head around's a bit overwhelming to contemplate. As far as dairy, her main idea was to make sure any dairy is made from raw milk. To start she said eat goat cheese, not cow. Most of this regimen is about getting away from the over processed, chemically enhanced, genetically modified, and pesticide drenched foods that are in our supermarkets...I can eat organic grain cereal, raw milk (I'll buy that), nuts and fruit -mainly raw things....I don't want you having to get this stuff- i''ll bring things with me... I don't see an attachment??

( the kissing and cuddling will be the best part of this transition;.the proverbial icing on the whole grain, sugar-less cake!..) I was worried this might be freaking you out a little?? are you ok with this? I don't mean to make this some huge issue... it's just something i need to do...-s


Don't worry about me but you should read the attachment (it should be there) because it does make sense. I'm not necessarily suggesting a spartan regime but what I am reading into this dietary stuff is that there is at least a chance that 20thC living and environment and diet is what got you sick and so a part of the corrective action is to avoid the 'bad stuff', a lot of which you are already doing. However, there is another dimension and that is that certain foods and supplements may have a very pro-active effect by helping your body to oxygenate and cleanse itself. The piece that was new to me was the need to avoid foods that contain or foster mold growths that can be very harmful and even some whole-grains are apparently not good in this context. Freaked out? A few years ago I might have been but not now and eating at least close to what you do certainly won't hurt me. It's not as if I am totally locked in; the number of times we eat separately is more than enough for me to gorge myself on bad stuff if I choose. The stuff I copied does have a credible 'ring' to it and there are some things there that I would not have thought of but which seem to have a solid base in science. Nuts, for example, are not universally good for you - whole macadamia, almonds and walnuts are OK but peanuts are quite bad for cancer recovery as are (to my surprise) cashew nuts. It seems that salmon is OK but you are advised to seek out the wild, not farmed, variety (though ironically that can actually be cheaper and better too). The other thing you maybe ought to think about if you haven't done it yet is a detox to finish getting the chemo chemicals out of your system. Fresh and raw seems to be what to aim for with veggies and juicing is probably what you should be doing for your breakfasts. Green tea is very good too.

NOTE: The attachment file was 18 pages long and I have nothing to link to. If anyone would especially like to have a copy email me and I will try to get a copy for you.

Ok found it. yes a lot of this is what she was talking about but some of the info in your article is geared towards people who still have cancer cells which i don't. The diet she described to me is an anti-inflammatory diet which is good for any one with auto-immune issues or cardiac problems...(hint hint or former cardiac problems?) -s (good night i'll talk with you some more tomorrow...)

You nailed it. That is exactly what she is telling me....she has given me a very definite list of foods to eat which I'll share with you later. I'm up again because there was a strange sound coming from the soft water system in the doesn't seem to be anything...(god i hate houses!) -s

What was it I nailed?

Hi Sue,

I kind of lost track... Now on to what might be another string to your bow, and for all I know this may already be a part of your cancer avoidance strategy. There is stuff in this documentary which I was not even vaguely aware of and it tells me that you should probably be staying very close to those friends/neighbours of yours up the road.... Just in case you were labouring under the misapprehension that the AMA and other powers that be are doing everything possible to work towards developing cures for cancer, watch this. Pay special attention to the section about Gerson (around 45/50 minutes>):

Sue's reply: I meant that you pinpointed the idea that the 20thc environment was the cause of my cancer (and everybody else's as well) I have genetic markers as well but she said those could be overcome with the diet change. She calls her diet the Biblical diet in the sense that we shouldn't put anything man-made or engineered into our bodies but rather stick to what our organism was "created" to eat....she isn't preachy or heavily religious...she is very spiritual. She talks about the primary foods as being our self-confidence, attitude or outlook and spiritual growth. I'll send you a link to her website. She's probably a little over the top for most people but I trust her knowledge.and her enthusiasm is infectious! I've always believed in thinking outside everything (box? what's a box?) and this makes sense and feels like the right thing to do now. I sent the youtube doc to my friends up the street...I know they'll appreciate it. It was very interesting! what were you doing up at 3:48 am??? The diet helps with insomnia too by the way.....-S

What I was doing at 3.48 am was researching your diet and health regimen. Do not lose track of the presentation in the email headed "Must See", it takes what your dietician is recommending a step further in avoiding foods which come from animals and fish and is also quite a significant part of what Gerson put into his cancer treatments.

If, as seems to be the case, a diet of non-animal products creates an alkaline environment which, in turn, is more hostile to cancerous cells then you should be working to shift your ph balance in the alkaline direction. A few years ago I listened to some public radio programmes which seemed to be addressing that and I believe turmeric was one dietary component which was good in that regard.

Sorry I should have realized it was more purposeful! I'm always startled when people join me in this fight ...ii've always been the one fighting for other people (it's the fixer mentality in me).. something I have to let go of and be more willing to accept from thanks for your effort to help me figure this stuff far the videos have helped reinforce what Toni has talked about. She also recommended a course of supplements to take..the main one being probiotics, then raw D-3, and cod liver oil.She recommends I use the website She says they use scrupulous methods and are the most cost efficient. She also advised me about the acid/alkaline balance "acid in the gut, alkaline in the blood" She recommended cooking only with coconut oil (which my daughter was already doing here). She will be sending me some recipes for smoothies and juices which she advised were essential....this is taking on the sembalnce of an all out "holy" war isn't it? and the strange thing is the medical profession may not be the leader of the vanguard. I'm a little worried now about the chemo drugs that are probably still in my tissues but will feel better after I start this cleansing regimen. Hope you got some sleep finally! -s

From Neil:

If you want to have a regular "staple" to build your diet around you could do a lot worse than Vegetable Biryani made with turmeric and lots of other mild spices and coconut milk, the veggies can be underdone, even almost raw. You can cook a whole pan-full (the pan the fish was cooked in would work) and refrigerate it. However, what I am hearing is that at least part of the turmeric you ingest should be uncooked.

Vitacost does look good. Based on what I read up on in connection with Forever Living products I suggest you think about one or other form of Aloe Vera plus some form of Arginine plus a good fish oil product with lots of Omega 3 and should be high in EPA and DHA. The latter is to keep your triglycerides and cholestorol down, they will not do anything to keep the cancer cells away. All of it is at a fraction of the marked-up FLP prices, no surprise there. Has your dietician talked about a specific detox or only detoxing as a natural result from the change of diet? It could be worth asking the question about doing a detox to get rid of the chemo chemicals quicker than waiting for nature to take its course. It need only take a week or so and you can do it in a managed way. One of the programmes referred to some of the side-effects of the detox - needing extra showers because of malodorous chemicals and so on - and that is something you might want to get over with quickly. N

So in all of this ..i completely forgot I have my 6 months appt. with the oncologist next week and I have to get the blood work done today! Chemo brain time again! I ordered the probiotics and omega 3 cod liver oil but they were out of raw d3 so I'll get that somewhere else...the tumeric and curcumin stuff is fascinating....I knew there was a reason I love Indian food! Also some Mexican food also uses cumin and tumeric...I'm hoping to see my friend, Ellen (up the street) today. -s

From Neil......Karma: With link about mice.....Maybe you should give the traps a rest and start making miniature teddy bears....

ahhhhhhhh I'll never be able to kill them after this! Laura wants to make them into taxidermy mice and photo them..(she's a sick girl)....S

From Sue: I ran into my co-worker Brian when I stopped by school to get my camera today. We were talking about this diet I'm embarking on and he suggested I look at CSA farms in the area. I knew he had some sort of connection to Vassar Farm or the Poughkeepsie Farm Project just down the road from school. He was explaining that you pay a yearly fee (around $350.00) and then during the "season" May-Nov. you stop by weekly and get portion of whatever is ready to be eaten. It's along the lines of a food co-op except you have access to the actual source of the food..the farm. You can also defer the cost a little by volunteering to work at the farm...There are at least 3 CSA farms in this area and many more over in Dutchess Co. I think you get a certain weight; 5-10lbs on a weekly basis. If it's too much for just laura and I I'm thinking I could include in a friend or two, like my friend Lynn, to help pay for it and then split the harvest..seems like an interesting proposition and fills the bill as far as the farm source goes...

Not wishing to put a damper on it, I took a quick look around the website and could not find the word "organic" anywhere. I did find 'sustainable' but if they are using pesticides, chemical fertilizers or even if they are adjacent to farms that do or used genetically modified seeds etc then it is not going to be up to the standard you need.

Maybe (hopefully?) I'm missing something but you really need to check it out.. N

No , I did ask Brian about it and he says they don't use chemical pesticides only organic ones and they are in an urban other farms around them but you are correct that all this needs to be checked out. I'm going to look at the ones in the New Paltz area since for most of the season I'll be on this side of the river. There is also a food co-op in a nearby town that I know only sells organic produce etc. so worse comes to worse i'll just rejoin the co-op. Probably a safer and less expensive bet. It just seemed like a cool idea to do the farm but there is also a waiting list for the "shares" and the cost is high....​

The second link sent me to Shoprite of Vails Gate which is the grocery store I used for 20+ years when I lived in Newburgh! Thanks for the other link . It has some of the CSA's in my area...Toni and Brian both recommended Hawthorne Valley Farm for raw milk etc. and I'm going to check them out. I hope you're doing a lot of other things besides this!

Just for the heck of it I looked up how to get to Poe Cottage from Kingsbridge and Jerome Ave. where the subway stop (is?) It had me turn left twice on the Grand Concourse (not sure what that meant) is the cottage between two parts of the Concourse? I can't quite see it in my mind's eye (30 years since I've been there)...oh well there's still lots of time for you to tell me" where to go" (just kidding) - S

From Neil - Not at all sure about the 2 raw eggs, either from an aesthetic or a dietary standpoint, but the rest looks OK and the hand-blender looks very user- and cleaning- friendly. I am sure that Dr Ali would add a scoop or two of turmeric to the recipe and that is probably a good thing to do:

From Sue: Toni says she's sending me some recipes for smoothies and juices to make. Hopefully without raw eggs although that is what she advocates as well....

From Neil: Thinking about that other documentary perhaps you should be breakfasting on hash browns...but that would probably make performing for your charges 'interesting':

And now for something completely different

The Shoprite link was not an accident, though it was meant to be the New Palz one, just to show you what organic produce they have (quite a lot and not just seasonal).

The cottage is on the east side of the Grand Concourse where it intersects with Kingsbridge Road. It is at the northern end of Poe Park. If you are on a 4 subway the best stop is Kingsbridge Rd and when you get off the subway you head along Kingsbridge Rd, walking AWAY from the Armoury. Cross over the Concourse and you will see the cottage. Only one gate into the grounds of the cottage will be open and that is the one inside Poe Park, opposite the ultra-modern looking Visitor Centre. If by chance you should get a B or D train you should get off (also) at Kingsbridge Rd. Try to be as near the back of the train as possible because you want the subway exit which is nearest to the back of the platform which will bring you up right across the street from the cottage. N

From Sue: re: hash browns ; it might make the" performance" interesting enough for them to pay attention to me for a change! The show clips are funny. I especially liked the one with the next door neighbors "dropping by". I always thought Annette Crosby was a "serious dramatic actress". I remember her as one of Henry VIII's wives(Anne Boleyn?) on a PBS show in the 60's...good grief I can remember that but not to get blood work done for a boggles the mind, what's apparently left of it. The supermarkets here are in competition with each other and both Shoprite and Stop&Shop have very good organic sections. There is a Health Food store in New Paltz as well that has a wide assortment (although more expensive)...and a specialty butcher who only sells grass fed's not going to be hard to find the food for this diet..thankfully!

One Foot in the Grave is a classic - well written and well performed. So, did you not get your blood drawn? I thought you had remembered in time...

Forget the butcher, it's the grass you need not the animals that feed on it!

no I got the blood work done ..i just can't get over that i forgot it until then!

After his email exchange Sue made her first visit to the cottage on the weekend of January 4th-6th. I have no recollection of what we did but I am sure we would have had at least one meal out, either on the Friday or Saturday evening and I would have cooked on the other. I seem to remember that on the Saturday Sue went to the Bronx "Little Italy" which was just about walkable from the cottage or an easy bus-ride. I think that she bought some supplies from there. Other than that I know that we spent some quality time together, made love and cuddled on the less-than-comfortable sofa while watching movies on the TV.

From Sue: I made it back (being silly). I have to say being back in the Bronx was a little strange at times. I've forgotten my "city" smarts somewhat and felt a little intimidated, like any "out of towner" might..took me awhile to adjust to it...walking around Fordham Rd and going into stores etc. helped make it more ordinary..I'm still a bit daunted by the subway. Riding the #4 again made me feel nervous for some reason, again that comfort level thing, I guess...Once I know where I'm going (know the route) I feel better. Navigating around you was a lot easier and wayyy more fun! Thanks for a lovely time....

Anyway, I miss you already and hope you had a good day with lots of people coming by to break up the day...-S

ThankYOU, for visiting and for all your gifts.

I'm now getting going again after having put my feet up because it was quite busy today. I have not done a final tally but I opened at 1pm, soon after dropping you off, and there were 4 or 5 people waiting to be let in. After that there was a steady stream including a group of 6 or 7 cub-scouts (probably around 8 yrs old) and 4 adults. They arrived when I was about 10 minutes into a tour with 2 Poe enthusiasts and so I suggested they wait in the park for about 15 minutes and I then did a special tour and tried to make it interesting for the kids. According to at least one of the "Den Mums" I did a good job and everyone seemed happy.. I probably had no more groups than yesterday but the groups were mostly bigger except for the last one who was a young (30-ish) history scholar from Lisbon who was my last of the day - he was very interested and I was able to give him a more in-depth presentation. I was thinking I might have a walk out to the supermarket but I really don't need to and so I may just stay in for the evening. I'm glad the speakers work - have you been rediscovering your music? Am pleased to report that the absence of a beard does not appear to have damaged my credibility as a Poe "expert". As usual I was able to fool them! Visitors today ranged from Montreal, Mexico City, Adelaide, Portugal, New Jersey and, of course, New York. How are the reports coming along? N

Gracious! You did have a busy day. It's nice you talked to the kids on their level. I hate taking my class to a historic site and the docent/guide just gives them the same old spiel they give everybody. It's a good opportunity to know how to modify the talk.. I've been sitting with my feet up also..I'm not the world traveler that you are! I made an (organic) cauliflower gratin tonight with a Swiss chard and mushroom broth soup. NO meat! I'm turning in early tonight... back to the school routine tomorrow....thanks for the Scottish art link. It looks interesting. -S

Words to live by from an American icon.... I especially liked "wash teeth if still have any....."

His dietary recommendations weren't bad either "eat good - fruit - vegetables - milk"

From Sue the following day: So if you don't hear from me later it's not because I'm ignoring you..I forgot to bring home the STUPID@#*@$ PLUG for the laptop...I can use Laura's desktop to check gmail but maybe you need a night off?? -S

Where did you leave it? I'm not seeing it in any obvious places?

Oh Neil! no I didn't leave it with you! I left it at school today. I ran out of battery so I'm on Laura's desktop.

I thought there had to be another answer because I could not find it anywhere down here. Of course it could have been cunningly concealed, if you'd left it deliberately, following my example with my phone, that being after I'd foiled your attempt to slip away with the door key...(insert smiley!)

So, how was re-entry? Painless? Fun? Did you find things from the holiday to remember and smile about?

Oh many things, indeed, to downright grin about! And how about yours? I'm afraid I was not smart enough to think of a good "ploy" so I'll just have to come back for no other reason than that I miss you and want to be with you again...

Today was a "professional development day' so we had to be developed through many hours of yakkity yak....the children come tomorrow. I feel the harness being slipped over my back as we speak...It was a lovely holiday. The next one is Jan. 21st. It will also be the 1st anniversary of my diagnosis. I have my 6mos. check-up on Thursday which I'm not expecting to have any surprises.

Tuesday 8th January: I remembered to bring the plug home! I hope you're having a productive little savages were back in full form today. One little guy went home in the morning because he wasn't ready to come back.(wish I had an accommodating mother like his). Actually, I feel bad for him. He's one of my kids with pretty severe learning issues and he's anxious about not fitting in...he is the sweetest little boy I've ever had so I want him to feel better about the whole thing but he has huge anxiety attacks now. On another front, my daughter has a horrible head cold so I'm avoiding her at all costs but I DID get a flu shot yesterday so we'll see if i survive this nonsense.. So what are you up to? Any movement towards chapter 2? How's Cafe Press treating you today? Do I sound a little "buzzy"? I went to the gym after school (I'm trying for 3 days a week) and feel like my engine got reved up wheeee! No doubt I'll crash before too long... So, hope to hear back from you.. -me

Hi, you!

I'm OK, not a hugely eventful day at this end. Chatted with Kathy this morning to update re cottage matters after the break. Did some research on CafePress competition and began the process of image editing which is the necessary precursor to creating new items. Following the research found some new Van Gogh works that I will include. The flu shot and Laura-avoidance sounds like a good strategy. I should have given you a bunch of hand-sanitisers that I have (promotional giveaways left over from the Chinese visa card project), remind me next time you are here. How are you going to resolve your little boy with anxiety issues? The best psychological treatment might be something called 'systematic desensitisation' which basically moves him progressively through various stages of proximity to the source of the anxiety (= the classroom?), comforting and rewarding him for handling each stage. It has been used for treating adult phobias such as agrophobia but it does take time. Perhaps there is a way to adapt it. What do you do at the gymn? N

Hi back, I think we are going to recommend the mom get him some kind of professional help. He keeps asking her to "home school " him, which she might actually consider. I don't think that would really be in his long term best interests..but we'll see...

I do what's called the circuit at the gym. The circuit consists of about 8-9 machines each constructed to torture and aggravate a specific muscle group in your body. The bottom line is that you limp away rubbing various parts of your anatomy wondering what the hell you were thinking to take this on! I also spend time on a treadmill. Today, my friend Judy (you met her with her 2 sons in New Paltz) went with me so that was nice, to have a partner in crime so to speak.. Laura is going to get me an i-pod so I can at least listen to music. Right now it's just monotonous and boring. I've never been much of an athletic type..but after last year I need to be more active so now I go to a gym..I made a veggie meal which was pretty good tonight. Just a mixture of whatever was in the fridge sauteed and eaten over pasta. It wasn't bad! Which Van Gogh pieces are you going to use? -s

Don't you mean 'partner in punishment'?

The Van Goghs I 'discovered' include the following:

Landscape with House and Ploughman

View of The Hague with the New Church

Autumn Landscape at Dusk

Skull with Burning Cigarette

Vase with Carnations

Vase with Red Poppies

Japanese art

Japonaiserie (after Hiroshige)

Japonaiserie Oiran (after Kesai Eisen)

Park at Asnieres in Spring

Plus others. The folder I am working from has just a few shy of 2000 works, in chronological order, ranging from small detail studies (hands, feet, figures) in pencil, charcoal or some other monochrome, to full-blown oils. I would like to do something with some of the lesser known works and detail studies but I have yet to figure out what. There will not be a mass market for them but real Van Gogh students and enthusiasts might go for items incorporating them. One thing I could aim for is a definitive source which has literally everything or a little piece of everything, I have that same concept in mind for Monet. I'm just not sure if the demand will justify the effort. On the positive side definitive sources and resources usually come into their own..

I'm going to hit send as you may be flaking out before too long. N

Flaking out! Moi??? au contrare....yawn..... OK I am going to go to sleep soon. It's been a loooonnngggg day. I like the concept about using the Van Gogh's. I'll have to think a bit about it but I do like the idea....the ultimate resource aspect seems solid but yes, a lot of WORK! I'm particularly interested in the detail studies..I like seeing sections of paintings focused in on so to speak. They create a completely different "picture" to enjoy. -Sue

Hi Sue I. Have to go to Manhattan this evening. Will be back sometime after! 10 N

Have Fun! -Sue

Hi Sue,

I'm back, safe and sound, are you still up and about? Neil

I am! what's up?

Not much, but I was thinking about you as I have been doing rather a lot of late.

What time is your check-up tomorrow? I had a haircut while on my travels today - maybe not quite as short as yours but definitely getting close, almost respectable... Neil

I bet you look just as cute as me (lol) My appt. is at 3:30. I'll let you know when I get out. i don't expect anything to be "out of whack". I feel fine...I've been thinking about you too...I wish I could come see you but I'm also a bit strapped financially too so I need that next paycheck as well as getting the reports done..( i hate being responsible). Oh well, life in the fast lane, right? -S

I KNOW you look cuter, trust me. I can handle deferred gratification and it is definitely true that abstinence makes the heart grow fonder but do get the reports done, it would be a shame to waste all that abstinence!

I will take that idea under advisement! Can't be wasteful now can we! I'm off to dreamland, hope you have a good night too..-s

Thursday 10th January: I'M ALIVE Hi Neil, The doctor's appt. went well. My CA125 tumor marker went down again (that's the right direction) It was 8 now it's 4." Normal" is 20 by the way and it never goes to 0. My white blood cell count was normal (finally!) I take this as a good sign. She wants me to get a CAT Scan at the end of the month to mark 6 months and then I'll have 3 month blood work checks and 6 mos. scans until a year is past which would be June (that's when I had my last chemo). soo knock on wood (or my knobby head) it all seems to be OK at this point. I guess I can be guardedly optimistic now...wouldn't want to tempt fate....-S...

Hi Sue, That sounds like good news! Thanks to Google and a few sites it took me to I now know at least a little about CA125. It's not that I didn't trust you, I just wanted to know what it is and how it works. From all I can glean the numbers in your case seem very positive. Static readings in themselves can apparently be misleading but a trend (up or down), especially in a case where a known cancer is being treated. One site actually referenced "a 50% change" as being "significant". The further tests are reassuring. Just be very clear that there is somewhere a bit south of where you are who wants you to be around and in good health for a long time to come. Neil

spotted a typo: insert "someone" before "somewhere"...

Sue replied: Well, to let you know I started a year ago diagnosed as stage 4(which I regarded as just a "number" not a sentence) with a CA125 of 360. then it went to 120 after the first chemo and finally ended at 16 in June after the last(6th) one. It's been steadily decreasing which is a very positive thing ! I apparently am one of those lucky people for whom chemotherapy works really well....and of course I had a great surgeon. The tumor marker is only one indicator the other thing is the scans and the one I had in October showed a complete absence of any tumor activity anywhere so I'm expecting this next one to be the same.

I'm very happy to have someone "somewhere south ' of me in my corner. It's a relief in many ways after some of the other attitudes I've encountered...!

I truly believe in the power of positive energy. I was surrounded by it for the entire time I was being treated. When I returned to work in the fall, parents of children I hadn't even taught came over and hugged me and told me how worried everyone had been and how much I was loved and how much it seemed like a miracle to all of them. It was quite unexpected and touching. It was a true portrait of how much of a caring community we have here. Anyway, I mean to prove them right and continue to be a "miracle".(lol)....-S

I'm not sure why you sent these but I love them! I've always loved the way old book bindings look. They convey a feeling of ancient mystery that I find very appealing. Are you thinking of using these for the phone covers or better still Kindle covers? (very funny if you did)..-Sue

Good Morning, Gorgeous! I sent the book cover images because someone twittered them to me and I thought (knew?) you would like them. I would dearly love to use them for (a) journal covers (b) Kindle and Nook covers and (c) phone covers. I have even seen similar designs on tee-shirts using covers of old, known works. Unfortunately this whole collection is in one place and has been photographed by one man. Image use - personal, educational etc - is only OK if non-commercial and so I can't really use them. One-offs do exist (auction websites and some others) and I even have one or two EAP ones already.

Darn! I thought they would be so good.

Phone cases, phone cases and more phone cases

....and I'm still only scratching the surface. I have been selling some. A couple of designs (Starry Night and Phone Box) seem to have been picked up by the Algorhythm and are getting exposure. Also phone cases generally seem to be "hot". I'm still surprised that other designs which "should" be working aren't and so I created a new "phones" section and am populating it with designs. I also need to go through and edit a lot of the titles because where the artwork title is long the item bit like " case" is being truncated and that could be affecting search retrievability. It is a mind-numbing task but will hopefully pay off in the long run. I would like to feel that this is a "once and forever" job but it is actually only until the next generation of phones happens along. So, what did you do to celebrate your results? N

very nice! Those are beautiful. I can see why they'd be popular. I haven't done anything to "celebrate" but on Jan. 26th my "fun with sue " group is having a get together so i expect that will be a kind of celebration...I really miss seeing you by the way. I had a struggle with myself about coming down anyway but then I checked my finances and realized I just can't do it (sigh).. BUT next weekend is a 3 day-er because I have Monday off (Martin Luther King Day) so that will be nice! -Sue ( PS I was listening to the Corrs last night. I really like them! I never heard them before which is strange..I especially liked Breathless)

I just need the phone covers to get found which is not as easy as you might think. The Corrs sound especially good through real speakers . Every other weekend seems like a good base to build on, with special emphasis on the long, holiday ones. At some point I plan to buy you one of those books of 10 trips which will make life easier but I'm not quite in shape to do that this month. I am mindful about what you said about the issues that being away every weekend caused... Enjoy your 'poets' day N

I have to agree everything sounds much better on REAL speakers. I'm luxuriating in sound these days! I'm sorry about the lack of money being such as problem right now. I have to pay my school taxes and then I'll be on a better footing...I can buy the 10 trip thing myself but I don't know much about it. I 'll look into it...I didn't mean to be a damp blanket about the traveling it's just that it was so exhausting last year and I need time to do ordinary everyday stuff like go to the laundromat every so often...I'd much rather be with you on the weekends but what's the expression, "reality bites"...I'm on a slight break right now so I'm off to do copious copying for the next week's lessons....until later.-S

Whew! am I glad this week is finally always takes such a long time to get the kids back to a "normal" routine after a big break. Some of them are still on break! I had 2 girls go off for ski weekends yesterday and two other families are going away for a week at the end of January for a "ski", if I was paying what they are for tuition I'd make sure my child was in school every day that they can be! Hope your day was productive. I'm sitting back watching an episode of One foot in the grave...Victor lost his job (not a pleasant idea) and is trying to put on a magic show...??

I came home to "drama". My daughter is planning on breaking up with her boyfriend tonight and got mad at me when I agreed (gently) with her decision ."You never liked him" was thrown at my're so lucky to have a son! Also her father called and cried on her shoulder because his wife told him she's leaving him in 3 mos. (this has happened at least 4 times in the last year). So all in all I'm in drama central tonight. I'd like to hide out and become invisible for the night..I really wish I HAD taken the train to NYC tonight... so how are you? Anything dramatic going on in your world? Hopefully not! Oh and to add insult to injury we have another mouse! (big surprise)..I think I'll listen to some soothing music for awhile with the new lovely speakers someone (due south) gave me.... thinking of you...-S

Hi Sue, I've just signed off from OKC having taken the time to respond to 10 messages that began to pile up from around New Year. I told all of them that I am in the process of becoming inactive because I am in a relationship which I would like to give my full-time attention to. (Should I be telling you this? I'm sure I read in dating 101 somewhere that it is an absolute no-no to be this open this soon..) Anyway your picture popped up while I was there and so it seems appropo to let you know what I was doing. Sorry to hear about your dramas. Your daughter is beginning to sound like something of a contrarian (maybe she has the covenanter gene)...does she think that she might be in a different place if you had viewed things differently? Hasn't she figured out that it's HER relationship? Bottom line? If she has real doubts they will almost certainly get bigger not smaller. Got sidetracked on CafePress and ended up doing a whole page full of Owl items! N

Hi Neil, I also had gotten off of OKC but then realized if I wanted to "see' you I had to log back on! (I miss your face) Silly stuff. They say I can't sign off for a week now but I haven't been going on it anyway..I'm in the same camp as you on this one..I have absolutely NO desire to look at any more profiles or engage in any more conversations..I've also told people I'm "involved". You have my full time attention as well. so there, I've been open with you in opposition to dating 101 too. I'm glad you brought it up because i was feeling a little unsure if i should mention it. It's nice to be on the same page on this one without even discussing it!

I also got off of POF. The weird thing is these sites still send you messages and flirts and supposedly your profile is down or gone or whatever(?)They're like an octopus that won't let go! I guess they want to tempt people to stay on even if they are exploring a new relationship. Kind of nasty.

Laura has calmed down and admits she's trying to figure out what to do and over reacted...she's just very confused about what's going on in her life right now and is feeling depressed... good luck with the owls. I haven't done art work in a week so maybe this weekend I'll try my hand at an owl collage..-S

I was just watching a great biography of Joan Baez on PBS, who is one of my all time favorite singers and "people". I haven't listened to her in ages (like years!) so it was a nice way to reconnect with her. I guess my favorite song of hers is a Dylan tune that is not very significant but always made me feel strangely peacefully content ..of course it doesn't really describe any relationship I ever had in reality but was rather an "ideal", which it probably was for her too .You Ain't Goin Nowhere.. Do you know it?

I also love a song she does with her sister Mimi Farina by Donovan: Try and catch the Wind:

Well, I am certainly waxing nostalgic...listening to music always does this to me. It's hard to not get "caught" up in some emotional state or other....

How goes the Cafe Press work?-me

Sorry, I was catching up with the latest Law and Order episode on Youtube. I know both the tracks you mention but I associate You Ain't Goin Nowhere more with the Byrds because that is the version I heard most often. I'm also familiar with Try and Catch the Wind but the Donovan version. I can even recall some of the words which probably means they are good - In the chilly hours and minutes of uncertainty I long to be...and that's without playing a reminder. Having our interests in music revived is a very healthy thing (IMO) even if some of the associations may be bittersweet and/or lead to the odd wave of nostalgia. So, what do you want to know about CafePress? N I may send a couple of music links, I just need to plumb the depths of my mind...

I was just wondering if any of your newest creations have gotten any hits? I especially liked the owl...although I think that one just went up , right? I'm still frustrated that you can't use the bookbindings, they would have been Perfect! for i-pads, kindles must be hard to find things and then not be able to use them because of copyrights etc. not to mention the time you have to spend researching the images you find.

Anyway, did i ever tell you that I've probably seen every episode of L&O at least 3 times. They've been on re-runs on at least 3 cable channels for the last couple of years. When I was sick and sitting at home they were sometimes the only thing worth watching. I will confess to channel surfing between episodes of classic, SVU, and Criminal was a truly pathetic year (lol). I still like Jerry Orbach the best..

Thanks for the Byrds version, I've actually never heard it! I liked Mimi Farina a lot although she wasn't nearly as famous as her sister. her husband Richard Farina wrote a book I always liked with the catchy title of; Been Down so Long It Looks Like Up to Me. One of a plethora of angst driven novels that 60's adolescents loved. It was very funny in parts too .

Hits maybe but no sales, it's really too early for that. It can take a day or two before items are even searchable within the CP system and then they have to get "found" which is a whole 'nother story and easier told than written. Don't rule out the book bindings, it is a good idea and there is more than one way to skin a cat. There will be some other book covers online, it's just a question of finding them. Also, if any of the ones on the Morgan Library site look generic enough I might take a flyer and use them and there could be ways to 'tweak' them and blur the edges, as it were. My current #1 sellers are the British Phone Box which I blatantly copied from others a couple of months ago but maybe mine looks better or is better described with better key-words. It's still relatively small numbers but some sales is always better than no sales. Next is a version of Starry Night - another knock-off but again either better done or better described. How do you like my (understated = not stated) "pair of hooters" tee shirts? I did a design with 2 owls for mugs and thought I'd try it on some ladies' tee shirts!

The L&O series I have been watching is a brand new 2012/13 season of SVU. I think on the basic Hulu I'm seeing them 4 weeks after they appear on the network. I have seen a lot of the old L&O episodes and I also like Gerry O. Way back, when I would be over here on business, I used to listen to one of the Light FM radio stations (NJ 106.7) while driving around and it was also sometimes used as piped music in stores. Once or twice I would stay in my rental car at JFK waiting to hear the last of a "set" before heading into the terminal. There were a few tracks I would hear, sometimes in batches, on there that I didn't hear anywhere else. Here are a couple of them plus a few others that came to mind: Sometimes when we touch by Dan hill - A really beautiful song. The Day They Drove Old Dixie Down by Joan Baez (I like the melody and the beat a lot, also the intro and build-up. Music by John Miles Listen for the change of tempo at 3 mins 40... Constant Craving by K D Lang Mandolin Rain by Bruce Hornsby Every Little Kiss by Bruce Hornsby The End of the Innocence The Road Not Taken

A favourite Remake from the 80s - A Groovy Kind of Love by Phil Collins


Sue, I just thought that you might not have heard some of the original tracks I sent through "REAL SPEAKERS" and so here are a couple that might be worth revisiting, plus a couple of others: With Every Beat of My Heart by Chris Rea I Give You The Morning by Tom Paxton Leaving London by Tom Paxton Heart of Gold by Neil Young

thanks I awoke to all this music and have been happily listening and procrastinating for a time! Now I need to get to work (sigh)...-S

REHEARSING MY LINES Good morning, welcome to the Edgar Allan Poe Cottage....

And I'm trying to write a completely negative report without being negative! Try that one some time! -Sue

clearly has potential but.... needs to...(more)(less) has a tendency to.... has to.... (Can't be completely negative. There has to be a positive somewhere, even if it is only that his parent's are paying..) Is my photo showing up at your end?

thanks and yes I like the New (old?) look! I don't mind scruffy but this looks much better I have to say (also you're smiling in this one!) I don't need to go on OKC to "see" you.(lol) (I'm not a" mad" stalker by the way...just miss you and I'm very visual).

The problem with reports is you have to be objective and say what needs to be vagueness but still be gentle about it...this little guy is a very sweet kid who basically can't function in a regular classroom setting but his Mom does know this already, (I've had numerous conferences and she's been to scads of "experts") it's just hard for me, personally to have to say it all clearly so there's no room for doubt. We're trying to move her towards seeking a different school for him next year....She teaches in our HS and is an alum of the school which makes it even harder..her "dream' was to have her son go to her school. Not too much guilt being the destroyer of dreams..

.Are things busy today? -S

"New" (this morning) and it is relatively quiet so far. Just having a break while 2 people watch the DVD,

I just feel like I'm hibernating's a response to the grayish world around me right now. It's white and gray and drizzly and chilly ...not inspiring in the least. I just want to hunker down in the covers and read a book...or take a nap...hope your day held more energy...s

Today was fairly busy - more like last Sunday than last Saturday. There was an art exhibit opening in the Visitor Centre (something called 'Swamp') and I think that brought me a few visitors I would not otherwise have had. They were a nice lot - seemed interested and got nice thankyous as they left - home locations ranged from across the street (literally) to Argentina, Milan, NJ, CT and elsewhere in the City, maybe elsewhere too. While I remember next Saturday is Poe's 204th birthday and apparently Lucy in the Visitor Centre is arranging some 'events' which she tells me will include a musical rendering of Annabel Lee sometime between 11 and 11.30, a reading of at least 1, possibly 2 other Poe works in the afternoon and maybe some prints on display, not sure about tea and cakes. Assuming you are here you might care to check it out, you can even wear your Poe tee-shirt if you want to be fashionable. Your "grey" day sounds like it could have been a nice one to spend together, under or above the covers, with or without book(s)....I've even discovered some new British dramas you will probably enjoy. They are period mysteries from Victorian England, newly (last 24-hrs) uploaded by the guy who gave us One Foot in the Grave and many many others. We can watch them when you next come down. What is the latest with Laura? Did she make the break or is she vascillating (or even, like Mother, procrastinating)? Only curious... I read an extremely long review of the movie (which I'd not heard of) about the 10-year hunt for Bin Laden. Some are saying it is Best Film material others that it over-complicates the issue by, perhaps inaccurately, attributing some of the ultimate success to having got results through the use of torture. It may be getting close to the time for me to take a subway ride but first I need to research to find 2nd and 3rd films. Lincoln would be one if they have it, not sure about a 3rd... I made an interesting discovery on CafePress yesterday. I tried searching, using what I thought were obvious and relevant search terms 'Impressionist", "Pre-Raphaelite" "Art Nouveau" and maybe even artists like "Matisse". Whereas I would have expected hundreds, even thousands, of items the searches only turned up a few pages each and my items had reasonable prominence. This suggests to me that maybe people are not searching in that way or maybe they are just not into art or SOMETHING because normally to have high prominence on common keyword searches means sales and they are not happening, at least not in those categories. If you get a chance do some searching (from and see what you think. It is hard to gauge exactly what constitutes "a lot" in CP terms because their sales may be very thinly spread. However, overall this has to be good news because prominence in search engine rankings is always a good thing, eventually the searches come along. N

So what did you see? where did you go? Do tell...I'm living vicariously...I almost never go to the movies. Les Mis was the first one I went to see in months. I don't like going by myself but my friend Lynn goes all the time by herself. She lives in Rhinebeck and there's an Art House style theater there (independent films and foreign films mostly).

Any howww,, hope you had a good time.

No movie, what I was aluding to was a trip on the D line (not tonight, for my to-do list) to find one of the Chinese guys who sell pirate DVDs at 3 for $10. I too have not been to a movie in quite a long time - can't even recall what it was but time-wise sometime last year but earlier rather than later. There were a couple of those indie-style theatres over in Queens but I have not even begun to explore the cinemas here in the Bronx - in all my time here in the states (never mind just the last 15 months) I have never been to a Bronx cinema. This evening I have been pottering around online and have a few YouTube tracks which I will send you momentarily.

Oh funny. And here I thought you were out and about! I watched The Spirit of St Louis on PBS and then Laura came home and did a tarot reading for me. I drew the "world "; apparently everything is tip top and the world's my oyster and then I had an upside down" Devil" which indicates that I have work to do on myself to let go of past things and the last one was" Pentacles #9" which means I'm in a good position financially (HAH that proves it's bunkus) We know how to entertain ourselves here in the Parise household....oh yeah the boyfriend never showed...again. This is, unfortunately his modus operandi...he never shows up and leaves her hanging for days and even weeks on end. Personally I would have told him to take a hike a lonnnngggg time ago.I never went to see any movies when I lived in the Bronx either. They weren't the most enticing places to tell the truth. We did occasionally go into Manhattan to see something ,but rarely.. The D-train connection sounds more interesting anyway....

Medieval folk meets rock - head on - with Maddy Prior - Steeleyespan All Around My Hat


Solitary Man by Neil Young Also Crackling Rosie

Vincent by Don Maclean Also And I Love You So

Starland Vocal Band Afternoon Delight

Mary MacGregor Never Been To Me

Sunshine on my shoulders by John Denver

All of my life by Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville

Gracious! I never heard of the Maddy Prior group but it reminded me of a group that I LOVED when I was about 19 or 20. This song was a mantra in my head for gives you a glimpse as to what I was like in my early 20's (hint...airy faery. I WAS in art school after all) laugh all you want.."Dust be Diamonds" there's no accounting for taste....especially in the very young. Yes, I dressed like a crazed gypsy and had hair down past my ass....what were your transgressions?

I hope you're well rested and ready for trouble (just kidding) I forgot to tell you that I went on cafe press and tried some of those keyword searches but didn't see anything that I thought was yours??? I tried Impressionists, post-impressionists, artists and Van Gogh. I saw what looked like someone else's "Starry Night collection" and it led me to a lot of esoteric sites but nothing that looked like yours. Maybe I don't know how your "collections" are labeled? These said "Van gogh collection". It's kind of dizzying to navigate in there! I'll try again later. I'm off for my bi-weekly laundromat "experience". taa taa....

Good Morning Sue,I am more or less rested though I do miss waking up with you. Did I tell you that I like waking up with you *a lot*? I also find being intimate with you to be almost unbelievably easy and incredibly *fulfilling* (yes, that word perfectly describes it). Just wanted to share a couple of current thoughts. Now onto the more mundane....I'm not 100% sure what exactly I was asking you to do, I'm still formulating my own thoughts about adding more items, figuring which items and working out how to get those items to the top of the pile in terms of search engine optimisation. I did look myself again and I do not (yet) have any significant presence in terms of the generic "impressionists". I may be developing a niche in Van Gogh but probably have a ways to go (I didn't check that one). I do have quite a strong presence in "Pre Raphaphaelite" - quite a lot of items on the first page or two are mine - and that reflects the work I put in. Unfortunately it is probably not an important search term at least not here in the US. Klimt is a mixed bag and I seem to have some serious competition there. Art Nouveau has some of mine, as does "Matisse" though in case of the latter I only have a few phone cases, not much more.Generally speaking the items and images which come up highest in searches are the most popular (most searched and/or most sold) ones and so I should aim to have those in my offerings in some way,shape or form.That's enough about SEO (search engine optimisation) for now. Here are some music tracks for you to play:

The Boar's Head by Steeleye Span Also Montrose Nice track and they are really enjoying the performance

Ralph McTell Streets of London

The House Carpenter by Pentangle

Free Fallin by Tom Petty

Lily Marlene by June Tabor

I do remember the Incredible String Band. There was someone in my social circle who was "into" them but for the life of me I can't remember who it was - I think I've narrowed it down to a couple of people but then it is a blank - but I don't think I really listened to the music. Maddy Prior is quite an icon and was still performing in 2007/08 and maybe even now. Bye for now,N.

You say the nicest things to me. Really, I mean it. I also feel that way about you as well. Waking up with someone you feel completely at ease with and can't wait to see is the such a great to the other...It astounds me how much I'm attracted to you! It's quite a new thing for me. Well, I won't gush (it's not my comfort zone or probably yours either) but needless to say I'm looking forward to spending that quality time with you soon..Hope your day goes well. I'm back to report more procrastination...-s

Hi Gorgeous! I'm just telling it like it is, just simple truths - no embellishments. If you can handle background music here are a couple of links, somewhere in this lot you should be able to find something that just plays itself without constant clicking.

Hi Sue,It was fairly quiet today - more like last Saturday than last Sunday. I had a call this morning, out of the blue, from a guy I did some work for back in 2010. He works for Hugo Boss at Columbus Circle selling expensive clothes to high net worth individuals and has been doing that kind of work for 20+ years. Apparently he was a personal shopper for Condaliza (sp??) Rice and has also done some fashion photography. I think he is probably gay but I can't say I've seen evidence. Anyway it seems that he is off to the UK next week and is hoping to get a job in Burberry in London and wants me to help write his resume. Frankly I'm surprised to hear from him because we last met about 2 years ago when he was (also) getting a resume ready for a trip to the UK but we had a falling out when he was less than happy with what I did for him, it's a long story..So I was almost tempted to give him a wide berth but he has a habit of conversing very fast and one has to be pretty determined to steer a conversation. Anyway I will give him the benefit of the doubt and see if this time we can be in sync regarding what he wants and what I can do for him.So, I'm heading out momentarily and will probably be back around 10 give or take. If I miss you before you turn in I wish you a very good night and hope that your charges behave themselves in the morning.XXX

Good luck! He sounds extremely HIGH maintenance...Does he think you'll give him an edge because you're from the UK and know the language better (lol)...actually I know why.. because It's what you've done (probably, really well) for many years...I'd pick you too...Are you off to find a Chinaman with some hot video's? I really enjoyed the Corr's concert by the way, thanks! -S

Hi Sue, I'm back after a totally abortive trip. I have to take the blame though I just wish that Marlon, who is high maintenance by the way, had been patient enough to wait a little while longer in the place we'd agreed to meet instead of heading off to a place he'd only voice-mailed me about because I didn't get the voicemail. What happened was that I left the cottage without my phone - it's not that uncommon, I really don't use it that much - though 5 minutes out I did think about coming back for it but foolishly did not (isn't hindsight a wonderful thing?). I then went to the subway, discovered that neither machine was taking cash, went down to the Fordham Rd station (not too far and in the right direction) but then had a very long wait for a train - Sunday service I guess - and arrived at Columbus Circle at 7.15 ish. I hung around for about half an hour but to no avail and came back to a couple of voice messages. I now have another meeting planned for tomorrow am at around 8.30. I'm not at all sure I want the aggravation but maybe it will turn out OK and I may even make some money out of it. There was a Chinaman on the subway, in fact I think I encountered no less than 3 video vendors on my way up and down, but did not splash out. How are you? Did you finish your reports? Without wishing to gush, or anywhere even close, I can honestly say that the only fun thing about riding up and down to 59th St was the chance to think about you, which I do rather a lot these days. Actually, not just about *you* but also about *us* and the way we seem to have clicked.

Oh poor you! (you make me laugh) Life has these ridiculous mishaps that waste our time and make us wonder if there isn't a mischievous spirit at work...I've often wondered about that!

...As to report writing..I'm afraid it's a complicated and time consuming process. I've done 4 out of 13 which is actually a good start. The first half are due on the 22nd and the rest on the 28th so I'm not in bad shape...I'll bring my laptop when I come Friday and just work at them while you're "upstairs" Sat. and Sun.. It's probably better to do them somewhere where I won't be distracted...

I think about the rarity of finding someone with whom to "click" in the first place. It's never been that easy for me for some reason and I obviously haven't had the best of luck in that. I don't dwell on it much but it has always puzzled me why it should be so...and I do definitely feel the "click" this time, quite distinctly...

As if it's bad enough that Santa Claus doesn't exist..... seems that the whole Greyfriars Bobby story was a hoax to stimulate tourism. I found this via a tweet pointing to the 140th anniversary of the statue being erected:

Revisionist view

In 2011, after five years of research, Jan Bondeson published Greyfriars Bobby: The Most Faithful Dog in the World, the most detailed biography of Bobby to date. In it he dispelled the story as traditionally told and offered a different version.[5][3][4][6]

As background, in 19th century Europe there are documented over 60 'graveyard dogs', or 'cemetery dogs'.[3][4] These were stray dogs which were fed by visitors and curators to the point the dogs made the graveyards their home. People thought, "Oh look at that poor dog, waiting by his master's grave," so they kept looking after them: the stray dog had free food while graveyard curators had company and a good story to tell visitors.[3][4] In Bobby's case, he was originally a stray that hung around nearby Heriot's hospital, but became such a nuisance the hospital gardener threw him into the graveyard.[3][4] James Brown, the curator of the graveyard, was fond of Bobby's company and began to feed him to keep him around.[3][4] Visitors saw Bobby and liked to believe he was loyally staying by his masters grave, and provided Brown with tips to hear Bobby's "story". After an article about Bobby appeared in the Scotsman visitation rates to the graveyard increased by 100 fold with people arriving from all over England and Scotland.[3][4] "They would give James Brown a handsome tip and have lunch in the Traills' restaurant."[3][4] It was a lucrative situation for Bobby, Brown and the local community.

Bondeson believes in May or June 1867 the original Bobby died and was replaced with a younger dog because he states pictures of him show a clear change.[3][4] The first was an old tired-looking mongrel, the second was a lively youthful Skye terrier that ran around and reportedly fought with other dogs.[3][4] This also explains the longevity of Bobby, 18 years, since Skye terriers usually only live around 10-12 years.[3][4][2]

When the story of Bobby first broke it was believed his owner had been a shepherd buried in the graveyard.[3][4] Later, a scholar named Forbes Macgregor, who wrote a biography of Greyfriars Bobby, believed the owner was John Gray, a local policeman buried there in 1858.[3][4] Neither makes full sense since a shepherd wouldn't normally use a terrier for herding sheep, nor would a small terrier normally be used as a police dog.[3][4]

Over the years local Edinburgh residents who knew the facts had talked in public, there were even newspaper articles that cast doubt on the story, and even while Bobby was alive some councilors cast doubt on his story when it was discussed at Edinburgh City Council. However, the romantic legend of Bobby was so ingrained and beloved that any revisionism over the years went largely unnoticed.[3][4][7] Jan Bondeson stated "It won't ever be possible to debunk the story of Greyfriars Bobby – he's a living legend, the most faithful dog in the world, and bigger than all of us."[5]

In memory

Greyfriars Bobby's Bar. Two men are passing the statue, lower right.Bobby's headstone in Greyfriars Kirkyard

A lifesize statue of Greyfriars Bobby was created by William Brodie in 1872, almost immediately after the dog's death. This was paid for by a local aristocrat, Baroness Burdett-Coutts.[8] This stands in front of the "Greyfriars Bobby's Bar", which is located near the south (main) entrance to Greyfriars Kirkyard. The statue originally faced toward the graveyard and pub but has since been turned around, allegedly by a previous landlord of the pub so that the pub would appear in the background of the many photographs that are taken each year.[citation needed] The monument is Edinburgh's smallest listed building. Originally built as a drinking fountain, it very aptly had an upper fountain for humans and a lower fountain for dogs. This had the water supply cut off (as with all Edinburgh's drinking fountains) around 1975 amidst health scares. Both basin areas were infilled with concrete soon after. After being daubed with yellow paint, allegedly by students, on General Election night in 1979, and being hit by a car in 1984, restoration became critical. The monument was subsequently fully restored under the supervision of the then Edinburgh District Council in 1985. The entire base is newly carved but emulates the original exactly.[9]

A plaque on the site of a tavern where Bobby was a welcome visitor

A red granite stone was erected on Bobby's grave by The Dog Aid Society of Scotland, and unveiled by the Duke of Gloucester on 13 May 1981. Since around 2000 this has been utilised in a shrine-like manner, with sticks (for Bobby to fetch) frequently being left and occasionally dog toys, flowers etc.

The monument reads:

Greyfriars Bobby

Died 14 January 1872

Aged 16 years

Let his loyalty and devotion be a lesson to us all.

Guided tours of the Kirkyard are given by a number of groups, including the Greyfriars Bobby Walking Theatre and the Greyfriars Kirkyard Trust.

On 25 September 2009, the BBC reported that the statue had undergone a form of 'vandalism'. Protestors against Donald Trump building a golf course had visited statues in Edinburgh, Aberdeen, Glasgow and Stirling replacing the faces of the statues with that of Donald Trump, and in some cases, also attaching a set of toy golf clubs to the statue. The 'vandalism' to the statue of Greyfriars Bobby consisted of a face mask of Trump being placed over Bobby's face.[10]

Oh well people will be people you know (and dogs too)...after awhile the hubub will die down and the legend will come back stronger then ever...just like that ridiculous story of Geo. Washington and the cherry tree....another victim of revisionist history...(ha). -S

Zazzle Sale They don't happen very often but it's nice when they do: Sold 2 of these at a profit of a little over $13 each: Our Lady of Guadalupe Throw Pillow

Oh cool. The Latin American connection comes through! She looks good on a pillow.

UCK DAY Hi, What a miserable, yucky day. Everyone is feeling down and out here. This is such an uninspiring time of the year ...I hope you are faring better. I always go into hibernation mode when it's like this. Also adding to the mood was something that happened on the way to work. As I was going to the bridge on the main road out of New Paltz there was a poor deer just lying down in the middle of the roadway. It must have gotten hit just before because it looked completely out of it and dazed. I wanted to stop but didn't know what I could do about it. There was a State Police car behind me so I hope he stopped even though I know he'd probably just shoot it to put it out of it's misery (they do that around here)..God, this is not one of my better days. Sorry to be mopey....Friday seems a long way off right now...have a good day and I'll try to cheer will help..-S

Hello Sue, I'm sorry that I can be there to un-uck your day, which I am quite sure I could do. At very least we could hibernate together which is far from being an unappealing prospect. You were quite right not to stop and sympathise with the deer this morning. There is absolutely nothing you could do and you would even run the risk of getting bitten by a deer tick. I did see one in a similar situation a few years ago when I was out in the wilds of NJ or PA only in my case the deer was actually trying to run around in a blind panic but was clearly badly hurt. I was going in the other direction but, like today, there was a police car pulling up and I am sure that the deer was about to be put out of it's misery which is probably the only course open, as happens with horses that break legs. Had an OK visit to the city this morning although the amount of hanging around was beginning to try on my patience. I got there slightly early, around 8.20 but Marlon didn't put in an appearance until around 8.50. I was close to leaving and I actually began to dis-assume some of the responsibility for last night's debacle. It really was not a smart move on his part to disappear off to somewhere he'd only voice-mailed me about without knowing that the message had reached me and if he had either waited at the place we'd agreed on or at very least checked back there he'd have found me. Grrr. Anyway the good news is that, after all that, the work needed on his resume isn't that extensive. He is fairly clear what he wants and it's more a question of getting something over to Burberry in London and the content is really secondary because he has already had some discussions. I did tell him that IMO it's a bad move to make - wrong job, wrong place and wrong time - but he's not in a listening, logical mode and at the end of the day it's up to him to make his own mistakes. My guess is that the odds on them coming up with the package he's describing and getting him a work permit are quite low but we shall see. So, I must get to work on the resume. I have already done a lot of it by hand but I need to type it up and get it off to him by email by later this afternoon.

Ucky day or not I am willing to bet that you are looking quite dishy and eminently huggable, so there!

thanks for the cheer-up it worked! The sun finally made an appearance and all is right with the world. I'm nothing if not "Pantaglorian"...(there probably isn't such a work bu there should be. Marlon sounds a little loony tunes. you did your best..! -Sue

Ok, you got me, I give up, what on earth is "Pantaglorian"??Google was zero help and so I have to admit my total ignorance...

I probably misspelled it. Dr. Pantagloss, the tutor in Candide always speaks of things (even horrible ones) as being "the best of all possible worlds".. etc. sorry I sometimes screw up my literary references BIG time! -S

Even with your additional explanation I still had to resort to Google (the word you were looking for is Panglossian, by the way) because my education somehow by-passed Candide, Voltaire and in fact most French literature. No apology necessary and (good news) you can probably screw up your literary references as much as you like, even the English ones, and they will still be so far above my head that I won't notice!

Oh dear I'd like to blame chemo brain but I've ALWAYS been like this. My family used to refer to me as "little miss malaprop" (probably another spelling mishap) so now you've found one of those "foibles and idiosyncracies" I warned you about in my "profile". I always put up a warning ahead of time so there are no misunderstandings later truth I love language and enjoy playing with words a lot...even when I don't remember them clearly..(but NOT scrabble).-S

I would rate malaprops as more of an endearing characteristic than a foible or idiosyncracy According to Wikipedia Archie Bunker a character in the American TV sitcom All in the Family is also known for malapropisms. He calls Orthodox Jews "off-the-docks Jews" and refers to "the Women's Lubrication Movement" (rather than Liberation)

Ah to be included in the esteemed company of Archie Bunker! Praise indeed! (I'm laughing)...

not to mention fellow members of the Women's Lubrication movement...

An uncommon bunch to be sure! I hope I'm worthy of the honor..

supremely or, to quote a malaprop, slipperbly...

Marlon's Resume: - It seems he is very pleased and all I had to do was tone it down by changing "World renowned" to "Internationally acclaimed"

(hahahahahaha) self delusion wins every time!

Nice Tracks: Not sure if I already sent these:

Carole King - In the name of love

You make me feel like a natural woman

No you hadn't..I love her. Natural Woman was a huge fave with us women's lubricators ya know...or wimmins lubes as some call us..

I have followed this group for years! I guess I missed this years NO Pants Subway tour. If you ever need a chuckle or even a belly laugh check out their website. My favorite is King Philip of Spain giving out autographs next to his portrait in the Met Museum.

Richmond -- We should plan a trip down there in the summer. It needn't be a big deal, we could rent a car to get down there and stay a couple of nights. Richmond is a nice city and there are some great places to visit in the surrounding area. We could fit a lot in between a Monday and a Friday. How's that for a bit of long-term planning?

Sounds good to me. I do own a car you know..although it might not be up for a "long haul" that. I've never been to Richmond.

I know you own a car (and you might even own a better car by the summer) but sometimes rentals can be as cheap as $30 a day and for the peace of mind and to be putting the wear and tear on someone else's vehicle might be a wise course. In any case it removes a possible mental obstacle. I've been down there a couple of times and can vouch for it being a nice place for us to go...Anyway, there's something to think about while you are making that gloomy commute: "Once upon a morning dreary, while I ponder, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, I think of Richmond more, and the fun we''ll have as never before..."

you're a poet! I never knew!

OK, let's try a Haihu: Monday morning dreary Richmond love beckons Tuesday gleams does indeed look better today. You are a better poet then I.

Sorry, I meant a Haiku. The H and K are too close together... Is your day going better than yesterday? Having nice thoughts? N He IS She IS They BE In the Moment by P. Neil Ralley, 2013

Don't worry, as my friend Ellen says, "I meant what you knew." I'm just impressed by your doing it!...and yes, today is going by much injured deer and the sun is sort of out. They're saying 3 inches of snow possibility of a snow day or at least a delay might be in the works. I could use the snow day to write reports so I'm hoping....

hi Neil, Another day down ..I can't believe I'm hoping for a "snow day" so soon but IAM! Do you keep getting annoying junk from OKC? They just sent me some crazy thing they're trying where you agree to go out with someone as a "blind date". You can't see a photo of the person...that ought to be really successful. You wonder who's in charge of their marketing..adolescent boys...or what..Fortunately we don't have to worry about that one anymore (lol). How was your day? I'm gathering up student work etc. "just in case" I'm home tomorrow..I'm packing up to leave so I'll be in touch later.

.Thinking about going to Richmond (or anywhere with you) is a very nice thought. Traveling for me was always a little anxiety causing mainly because I didn't know what I was doing half the time...and I was the one expected to figure it all out! ( you learn as you go right?) It would be great to travel with someone who actually knows how to do it..I might even enjoy the experience for a change.. -S

You will...probably more than you could ever imagine.

Not sure if I have been wasting or investing time today, only time will tell. Mass appeal is sadly not a given but I think that you will like the results. See below and don't forget to click on the link. Will be stuck in the cottage tomorrow, at least in the morning, as some people from the parks dept are coming to plan some finishing jobs left over from the renovations. I have not had the OKC invitation that you did - perhaps they realised that I wouldn't buy into the idea of a blind date (so what makes you special??) but maybe it's because I'm signed out and you are not...who knows?...who cares? Visit Cafepress for the complete Haiku Love Poem Valentines Day Collection

I like it. Hopefully it will emerge and take precedence on Cafe! It's not too long until V-day so let's hope early shoppers find it! Is the tag Haiku etc. or Valentine's Day haiku? Would putting the holiday first make it show up in that particular search easier? I can't think too many people would be looking for haiku as a keyword for valentines' day gifts???or am I completely mixed up about this?...even "rose poem" seems like a better search title? (by the way I was able to finally sign off OKC myself today so hopefully I won't receive any more silly invitations from the website either)

I'm waiting for the snow to come....holding my breath won't help...on the other hand the weekend is supposed to be sunny and great so what's to complain about! I bought you some expresso coffee from a Coffee Roasting Co. in Kingston. We'll see if it tempts your tastebuds! I like their regular coffee so am expecting this to be Ok. The co. is called Monkey Joe's.

I'm sorry. I can be really "stounade" (I have no idea how to spell it but it's Calabraise italian for" out of it") I know that any words you put in the description can initiate a search, the order doesn't matter. I do listen, it's just sometimes my brain doesn't register right away...

Search algorhythms are actually full of trade secrets so it isn't possible to second-guess them with 100% accuracy. There are several places that the search engine gets info - the title which is really just the image title applied to the product, the image description (which one puts in the system but never gets shown), the keywords which one puts in when an image is uploaded (these are alphabeticised so word order doesn't count), the title and description of the section in which an item is placed and, for all I know, maybe even the shop that it is in. Lazy shopkeepers do not fully utilise all the different fields and do a lot by multiple pastings of the same keywords and descriptions. I try not to do that and quite often that extra bit of work or attention to detail will result in a higher ranking. Simple repetition of keywords can work sometimes but if it looks like spam it can have a very negative effect, especially with a hugely sophisticated search engine like Google. I'm glad that you like it. Yoga pants aside (or down!), what might you wear and not feel embarrassed? I have a version 2 on the way. It is in the 3rd party which may be better for shirts which will be viewed by 3rd parties. It reads "I AM, HE IS, WE...AAHH" I will probably not do a full set of that but cherry-pick some of the more popular styles. I'm undecided about whether to do an "I AM, SHE IS, WE...AAHH" but I suppose I should(?). Do you like the aesthetics? It's almost a heart-shape with the 2 rose stems (from one of my own photos, tweaked beyond recognition). I have to say that I like the basic concept. It could not be simpler. N

The "image is fine. I "got" a heart shape from it when I first saw it, so that works.. I think you should do the variations you mention because they are still simple and give people a choice of sentiments (always a good idea probably). I'd think T-shirts would be the most popular vehicle for them.. Truthfully, my favorite thing was the all around Hiroshige T. That looked so good! I remember when we saw them at the Met. They are just like walking around inside a painting.

Now, in the (sadly very unlikely) event that someone should search for keywords Haiku. Valentine I'm #1! I tried a few other combinations and it came on the first page of a couple. On more competitive ones (Japanese Valentine for eg) it wasn't a front-runner but shows up when you click "Newest" and opposed to "Relevance".Would saying that I miss you be too gushing?What is it that you like about the Tenjin Shrine pic? I chose it because I thought the colouring toned with the roses. Any others you particularly like?

I liked the way the picture "frame" fit the shirt . Also the bridge image is a fairly recognizable Japanese motif. it's just a very beautiful composition...and yes the red picked up on the roses...I'd have to look through the images again but I seem to remember a few with cats in them that would also probably do very well. A lot of "cat" people out fact I used to own one, (a shirt with a Japanese cat, I still own a cat) long ago..

This has been an incredibly LONNNGGG two weeks. What was I thinking? I wish the Bronx was closer but you know what they say, If wishes were horses, beggars would ride...or is it if wishes were beggars, horses would ride?

(I don't mind a wee bit of gushing; i miss you too, a lot,..)

If horses had their wishes then nobody would ride....

I suppose I could do one with a picture of your cat and keyword it "vintage"...

well said! She is definitely vintage!

The hairdo is more affro than Japanese but I guess that's OK. Mice strut boldly Bids sing Cat purrs

my life in three lines..

cat purrs, complacency creeps mice die

Laser-cut paper stained glass windows

WOW! Unbelievable..I'm speechless...(hard to do)

If you don't want to see him on NY we could add him to the Richmond 'to-do' list


Representation ADA Gallery 228 W. Broad St., Richmond, VA 23220 804-644-0100 Mulherin Pollard Projects 317 10th Avenue, New York, NY 10001 212-967-0045

i'd love to see him but the NYC gallery didn't list him as a current exhibit....Let's add him to Richmond. i've also always wanted to see this really strange museum in Baltimore, love the name! We could stop along the way right? I do love to meander be forewarned! No straight lines for me...

Baltimore will work, it's just a question of planning and allowing sufficient time to catch it while open. I'm fine with detours but I don't always give priority to things that some people consider essential, such as eating...

Ok , so I won't wait until I'm fainting to mention I'm hungry?

No, some notice may be necessary... Am rebooting for software updates and also to unclog the system. Are you snowed in? Are you snowed out (of school)?

Checks, balances and Karma - Maybe this relationship is the Universe's way of at least partially compensating you for the pain and suffering you had to go through...

I'd like to think fact I do...

waking to winter white

soft and frigid

memories of warm embraces

Ok you win...I have the day off so I win too..i won't waste this one. am getting to report writing as soon as my eyes clear and my head follows..

As to our southern travels..I DO plan. It's just that I don't like to feel pressured to keep to a strict schedule (within reason, of course) because then I become obsessed with time rather than "enjoy the roses". You mentioned priorities like eating so i guess i better mention that one of my "lingering" issues is that if I don't eat something after a certain amount of time I start to feel nauseous and faint. it's something to do with blood sugar and white blood cells (although she said they were back to normal) so I guess I need to be blunt and say , Neil, I need to eat now! right? (I can do that if you promise not to be irritated with me) Also, I can survive quite well on snacks. I don't need huge meals or anything. OK food issues out in the open..whew.

You have no idea how hard it is for me to tell someone this stuff! It must seem pretty silly but I've always been such a damn" people pleaser" and it's actually hard for me to tell anyone what I need...but I resolved after I got better that I had to get over that one..or I'd end up back where I started (not an option) so you're getting to know the new( hopefully) improved version of me..-S

...and I hope that you are discovering that with me it is a painless process and *someimes* I might even draw it out of you, ever so gently. However, don't ever think of it as 'silly', it's how you were and where you've come from and that has made you who you are today - nothing to be ashamed or self-conscious of. Your Haiku is OK but I think there are too many syllables, mainly in the last line. Can I have another line? If so, how about: Snowy awakening, soft but cold. Embraces remembered, love exudes.

yes, much better. You're definitely the Haiku master! I forgot how many syllables to use.... and yes again, I am learning to trust you which is a big deal with me...after my last debacle I don't always trust my instincts, which at the moment are very strong about you...the proverbial click...and I hope you trust me as least a little(?)

17 is apparently the magic number but I have totally ignored that, and....yes.

I am not going to keep honing these down, honestly, but actually with this word-change it could actually be usable. All it needs is a Hiroshige snow scene: Snowy awakening, soft but cold. Embraces remembered, love warms

tis now with it what you will...( I like this one the best)

what about this print? it has a haunting, thoughtful look about it...

OK so maybe existential cats aren't your thing but what about dogs? Remember me telling you about someone who painted dogs to look like the people in 18th century portraits? Well I still haven't found them but what about these guys (for a laugh)?

I saw those dogs last week and almost sent them to you. I seem to be missing the link to the existential cat.. Dogs, and indeed cats, are certainly very popular but I need to priorities and not spread myself too thinly. Some guidelines which are evolving as I go along: - Stick to quality, vintage images which are rights-free and known to be popular. - Try to do a subject area comprehensively (sticking to works that will be popular not coverage just for the sake of coverage) eg Pre Raphaelites, Turner, Van Gogh, Klimt, Monet, (Renoir, Degas, other Impressionists) - Do some unique designs incorporating very popular works in collages. I came across a site last year which ranked the top 20 or so most popular paintings - it's a moving target (though not by much) but if I can get my designs to the top of the heap or do better things with the originals then I will make sales. - Do more to publicise the pages where I am selling CafePress items direct. Virtually all my CP sales are from the CP marketplace, if I could even get a few sales via my own shops then the margin is much higher. To market and build the shops I need to maintain the integrity of the designs - FineArtDesigns really has to be just that "Fine Art". I have other places I can do dogs and cats if I want to but I probably should work towards "finishing" FineArtDesigns (if that is ever possible!) - Continue to research CafePress and better understand what (in approx my categories) is selling and what "works".

Oh I agree! I was just sending you stuff to give you a "mental health break". I can tell you've been working intensely by how much you put together in a relatively short space of least to me! i think your fine arts designs are very "classy" and elegant and making more collage styles would be very unique, to my mind well as the all around prints. How long have you been doing cafepress ? I know nothing about marketing on-line. My father headed an advertising and direct sales and marketing department for an insurance co. so i grew up hearing all kinds of discussions about marketing etc. but this is a whole new world and he wouldn't even recognize it or know how to navigate it! he taught me how to do paste ups and mechanicals which was one of my first jobs out of college Yikes those were the days...i also worked for a market research firm writing code for surveys (another really deadly job).. You seem to know what you're doing so that's a plus...Like anything in "fashion", trends are hard to spot and using cafepress as your source may be limiting...although it does give you the look at "what sells" which is the point of course... How else can you market the shop? Is it only on cafepress and show sup in google ads or something like that if people visit it?. is that why it's showing up on my searches? sorry this is a lot of questions. We can talk about it when i see you rather then spend time writing about it. i finished the templates so now i just have to write some narratives about each student's social/emotional stance (about 2or3 paragraphs per I'm ahead... sorry, this got lengthy...-s

Read this it has all the clues

I have partial representation (some items and designs for 5 of top 10). Some are not do-able because of copyright restrictions - for sure the 70s nude at #4, almost certainly Dali unless I can find old ones, maybe even Picasso and LOTS of the runners up mentioned at the end of the article. I think it would be good to have as near full coverage (all items) for any allowable paintings in the top 10 plus some runners up. I do wonder about the Mona Lisa, should I really do it?

well I don't know what the repercussions would be for using her..I doubt anyone in the Louvre will ever know or even care..I have to tell you that nude is awful in my mind. How the hell did that get on the list but Botticelli's Venus or Primavera didn't! sad commentary about "art" (yeah I'm a snob) The Renoir is the one I thought you should use too...or maybe you have already? He has a famous one of a little girl holding a watering can in a garden that is also very popular...I'll look at the runners up I missed them.

Did you register me for something at the Jacob Javits Center? I got a confirmation for a trade show on the 27th????It sounds like something you'd be interested in going I was wondering. If not, they must have sent it to the wrong person although it's in my name?

Guilty as charged, your honour! I got a 'last minute reminder' and decided to register and just in case you are around I registered you too. They are quite strict in at least trying to keep it to trade only and so if I can keep you registered sooner or later we'll be able to go to one, there are at least 2 a year. One in late Jan or early Feb and the other late August. If you can go sometime you will definitely enjoy it. It's not really a place to go to buy things but it is certainly a place to get ideas and check out opportunities for both buying and selling. It is HUGE and there is everything imagineable from pure art to home decor items, museum store items, hand-crafts (yes, probably paper-cuts), textiles,jewelry, sculptures, wood carvings...and much more. It is quite possible that CafePress will be there with a chance to see a range of the finished products they offer. How is your day going? You sounded quite chirpy first thing.

Sounds like it would be very interesting. Were you planning on going to the one in January? It said it was the 26th or 27th...I was supposed to go to meet with a bunch of friends on Sat. but could duck out if you want to go then. -S

I just got an e-mail from my friend Gretchen. I had sent her a link to your all over T's. She was enthusiastic, loved the quality but was a bit put off by the price tag (something you are aware of, of course).

She represents a demographic that you are probably aiming for. She's educated, lives in an upper middle class community. Her husband is a professor at Bard College and she's "artsy".

Another idea she had was to do jigsaw puzzles which i didn't know if CP even provides?? She and her sister are addicted to them and always take them to their summer house on Nantucket. She is a professional weaver and sells a lot of handmade scarves and hats. She wonders if you have considered selling scarves. i remember we looked at them in the Met

Anyway, a little bit of feedback from an objective source can't go wrong...and she did think the "line" she saw was beautifully done....Also, she had never heard of Cafe Press...there's a problem right there....

Anyone buying from one of the many sales via the CafePress marketplace should expect to pay no more than $45-50, including S&H and possibly as low as $40 in a real sale. CP do jigsaw puzzles and I created one quickly just as an example, however they are more of a fun, gimmicky thing (show off Mom's photo as a jigsaw..) than for serious JS devotees. They appear to only have a few pieces and would not be a challenge for a couple of puzzle-seekers: I would like to sell scarves and have designs which could work.

This person just bought a Starry Night charger case. If he/she searched this is what they would have found, note the wrong-sized images and the poor/non-existent descriptions. Assuming you don't want one of the ones with a breed of dog, which would you pick?: I've already sold a couple of these and it could turn out to be more if the Starry Night design becomes popular. Incidentally, to give you an idea of scale, CafePress has annual sales in excess of $100 million so I'm only looking for a tiny piece of the total pie, about 1/40th of 1% to be precise.

Why so little! Go for 1/42nd of 1%! sorry, couldn't resist... I sent a link of your store to a friend of mine who was interested in looking at it. She is a weaver and craftsperson. She lives in Rhinebeck so if you have a "browser" from that town it's probably Gretchen...

I suppose you do realise, Susan, that 1/42nd of 1% is actually smaller than 1/40th? Was that playfulness on your part, or a rare instance of your mathematical ungenius? Just back from an expedition to Marshalls, we now each have a brand new pillow or we can put them together and play games with them..Also 2 pillow cases which were on clearance. They will 'tone' rather than 'match'' anything but neither of us seems to pay much attention to colour schemes when we are in bed so that's not an issue. Re next weekend it is your call but I feel very reluctant to pull you away from a long-standing arrangement with the friends who did so much for you last year. It's not as if they are just "any" friends. The Gift Show is really not an issue. The only time we could possibly go would be an early start on Sunday and I would need to be heading back around 11.30am, leaving us not much time to explore - it really is huge. We would probably do better to target the August one which is NYIGF Next Edition: August 17 – 21, 2013 (Saturday - Wednesday). You will not be working and so unless we are away somewhere we could do a whole weekday - that's always assuming that you haven't gotten bored or fed up with me by then...Not that I really have too many doubts, witness my investment in pillows!

Suuurre I knew that, after all I teach fractions to little folk (that's my story and I'm stickin to it). Yes, I would rather go in August and for the record I don't intend to go anywhere but then YOU might get bored etc with me (it's happened before) and then where would that investment in pillows get you! Should i bring a spare comforter? I have extra ones...we could make a tent and pretend we're on an island somewhere....

(Also for the record) the pillows really don't represent a huge commitment, sorry but there it is.... However, planning a trip to Richmond and thinking (unquestionably) about doing things in August and even beyond is (for me) a huge sign of commitment and not done lightly or without a lot of strength of feeling. End of serious note. So, have you seen the Mucha shirts? There is a beer one for men (the template for men is ever so slightly larger than for women and so I have only thought to do one. Also I have more Klimt ones and then there are the Van Goghs. At some point I will try some Pre Raphaelite designs and see if I can hook some of the ladies who worship Rosetti and his entourage who hang out on Twitter.

I know. me too..

Almost forgot, no need for the comforter, I have a bed cover of sorts that is in the laundry and another. very soft and cuddly sort of blankety thing so we are really not in bad shape. Confession time, I have finally sacrificed myself on the altar of commercialism and dubious taste (what do you mean, it's not the first time??) and have done an all-over shirt called....The Best Mona Lisa all-round ladies t-shirt...and I had to make up some of the background because Leonardo's didn't quite fit the space. How can I ever look into the eyes of a self-confessed art-snob again, much less expect her to kiss me? Oh, woe is me...

ah, the old girl never looked better....i can be a bit of an art snob, but wouldn't let that get in the have nothing to worry about...Glad to know I don't have to haul a comforter all over the the way..could you meet me at the station again. I'm still a little nervous about 125th st in the dark...I figure I can catch the 4:40 which gets to 125th at 6:07...I will eventually get over this but for some reason I'm still not used to it....I don't have the same reaction in daylight by the way.....

Sue, wild horses could not drag me away! Maybe when we are 90 (I'll only be 89...just rubbing it in) I might say something like 'sort yourself out, you old bat!" but thankfully we are a long way from that so, for now, be as afraid as you like, for as long as you like.

Oh I forgot I'm an "older" woman..does it make me a cradle snatcher! i actually am annoyed at myself for being "afraid" but it's a gut reaction so i'll deal with it in it's own good time...hopefully before age 90! Thanks

COOOOOLD Well I had an interesting start to this day. My car door latch was frozen open and I basically drove to school with one hand , the other was holding the door closed . It lasted about 3/4's of my trip to work. I'm going to buy a bungee cord to hold it in case this happens again! (which it will I'm sure) I googled the problem and they said use WD 40 oil so I'll get that too. The indignities of driving an ancient car..maybe it is time to look for another...the transmission has "slipped" a few times lately and that can't be a good thing....I'll put my brothe,r the car hound on to it. He'll find one in no time i'm's just I didn't want to go into debt again but is too short and all that....See you soon.-me.

No shortage of resourcefulness there. With your obvious talent for adaptation and problem solving you could probably get another 50,000 miles out of the old girl...In the meantime do you have AAA? I I think it's only about $70 and one breakdown in the wrong place at the wrong time could wipe that out, and a lot more, in the blink of an eye. It looks like a nice day down here, from the odd glimpse I have had from my bunker. I woke up at some ungodly hour and could not get to sleep again - need the discipline that another warm body brings - so I got up and played around with an 'improved' Pre Raphaelite collage. What I did was to look at the original as it appears on a shirt and then carefully filled the gaps and changed some images around so that there is far less dead space. I don't see myself doing it on other designs but for some reason I thought the Pre Raphaelite one looked worse than average and is now (IMO) significantly improved.

Looking forward to renewing our acquaintance.. N

Renewing our acquaintance indeed! (how formal) I do have triple A by the way.....The shirts look great! I can see an improvement in just the "color blocking" effect...

You aren't the only one who does hyperbole, or doesn't understatement count? Anyway, hopefully you read what I didn't write, to misquote your friend...X

Are you feeling adventurous? How about a quick pass through Manhattan after you arrive? The Morgan Library is open late and is free and I have ID'd a couple of places in that neighbourhood where we can grab a quick bite (before, because you'll be hungry). Just thinking out loud, what do you think? Moi

I guess it does....and yes, I did.. Sounds great. I'll be lugging some stuff but if you help carry the laptop that'd be fine. I WILL want to eat. Ahh you're learning my ways..I am pretty predictable...or at least my blood sugar requirements are....

Fine, I will be your pack-horse. I have never been to the Morgan. I was going to go there (quite) a few years ago but it closed for a 2-yr renovation programme and so it never happened. My cards would probably work in their gift shop.

The "Kiss all-over shirt" takes on a whole new meaning...

ahhhhhh. It's really a beautiful lay out!

missing you...

Mon, Jan 21, 2013, 6:11 PM

I'm finally home. The trains were on Holiday schedule but I managed to get one around 3 anyway. Then I had to do food shopping etc...ahhh back to the dreary day to day...I had a lovely thinking about the next time... wistfully yours..-S

Hi Sue, Glad you made it back safely. I sat down to clean up email and revisit the design I'd started and decided to close my eyes for 5 minutes, just to rest them, and awoke 2 hours later more than a little disorientated, at least time-wise. Unfortunately one of the hot water pipes has sprung a leak. It's not an emergency type situation though it is enough to necessitate a bucket underneath it. What happened was that I started to think of changing the washer on that tap and was looking for the tap to shut off the hot water supply to it. When I found what I thought was the right one, up above the hot water heater, I turned it into what seemed like the closed position. Unfortunately it is a very old tap and the act of moving it caused it to leak profusely which it has continued to do since. I am not going to call out a Parks Dept plumber - not quite that bad - but will call Kathy tomorrow morning and get her onto it. Meanwhile I just need to make sure there's a big enough bin under it and get used to the idea of living in a Spa with constantly running health-giving waters.... Thankyou for coming to stay. Each time you visit the place seems to get a little cleaner, tidier and more domesticated. Some of it is my feeble attempts and preparedness but mostly it is down to having a (Virgo) woman's touch around the place. Must now go to check the small waste paper basket to see how much water it has taken on. I may look in the shed for a larger bucket - I'm shy about using the big bin because it will be heavy to empty...

Ahh the joys of water leaks etc. welcome to a taste of my careful of the hot water don't get burnt! It's too late to get now but there is something called plumber's goop that you can use to clog up the leak's just like it sounds, goopy. hardware stores might have it...good luck

Sounds like you have a fall-back career option as an emergency call-out plumber for the Parks Dept if your English Head should finally lose her grip on reality.. I'm hoping that maybe the plumber who Parks Dept eventually sends will fix the tap (which I consider to be something I could/should do) at the same time as fixing the leaking shut-cock in the pipe (definitely a job for a professional as it will involve cutting out and replacing a section of pipe - not a job for Heath Robinson). If this happens there will actually be an improvement and not just a remedial repair.

well listen to you, shut- cock indeed! I relinquish my DIY have a better grasp on the nomenclature (is any of this even faintly double entendre sounding?)

I suppose it could bring to mind Billy Connelly's biggest nightmare - "drippy willy" - but I'd prefer not to go there..

thank you please don't!

I just showed my daughter your "line" of all overs. She said she had never seen shirts like that before. Her favorites were the Pre-raphaelite and the Gaudi. Just some more feed back from the "masses".

I'm glad that Laura approves of them! For me, seeing them (or I assume something substantially similar) in the Met shop was helpful. It gave me an idea as to what was possible but also was some kind of affirmation because the met rarely does 'bad' stuff. The next test will be seeing what one looks like and hopefully that will not be too long. So, are you fully rested and raring to go? Was it a good weekend break (I think I know the answer to that one)? N

It was a VERY good break! I think we can safely say that we have "renewed our acquaintance". Looking forward to our next "renewal" (smile)...

Well, life is back to the grindingly obnoxious... I have to change my CAT scan day because 1. I couldn't find a substitute who was available and 2. my car has decided to play nasty..the check engine light came on and stayed on the whole time I was driving to work. SO..I have to change the CAT scan day, find a sub for the new day, get my car into the shop and find a ride into work for the next few days if they need more time....My brother might come up this weekend and take me "car shopping".. I'm biting the bullet. The CAT scan is only a routine 6 mos. thing but I only have a small window of time due to the insurance co. approval process. Sure hope your week goes better then mine! -S

Do you always have to find your own 'sub' when you have a medical appointment? When does that become the school's responsibility? (Not criticising, just curious..) Could the check warning light be something simple like the oli level being low? (I guess not, there's probably an oil warning light for that). Found this online, the tip about some auto parts sellers giving free diagnosis sounds useful but maybe your regular shop will do that anyway:

The "check engine" light is part of your car's so-called onboard diagnostics (OBD) system. If the check-engine light comes on, here are some tips on what you should do:

  • Look for a serious problem that requires immediate attention. Check your dashboard gauges and lights for indications of low oil pressure or overheating. These conditions mean you should pull over and shut off the engine as soon as you can find a safe place to do so. On some cars, a yellow "check engine" means investigate the problem, while a red "check engine" means stop right now.

  • Try tightening your gas cap. This often solves the problem. Keep in mind that it may take several trips before the light resets. Some vehicles have a separate indicator that warns of a loose gas cap before the condition sets off the "check engine" light.

  • Reduce speed and load. If the "check engine" light is blinking or you notice any serious performance problems, such as a loss of power, reduce your speed and try to reduce the load on the engine. For example, it would be a good idea to stop towing a trailer. Have the car checked as soon as possible to prevent expensive damage.

  • Contact OnStar, if available. If you have a 1997 or later General Motors vehicle equipped with OnStar and an active OnStar subscription, contact an advisor who can read the trouble code remotely and advise you about what to do.

  • Have the code read and the problem fixed. If you want to diagnose the malfunction yourself, you can buy a scan tool at most auto parts stores. Prices range from about $40 to several hundred, depending on the model and the features. The tools come with instructions on how to hook them up and decipher the codes. But unless you have a good knowledge of automotive diagnostics, you're probably better off taking the vehicle to a professional. Some automotive parts stores will read and interpret the code for you without charge. Unless there is an easy fix, they may simply refer you to a mechanic.

  • Don't go for a state emissions test. In a late-model car, an illuminated "check engine" light probably is a sure sign your car will fail the test. In some states, it's an automatic failure, even if the problem was nothing more than a loose gas cap. By the way, don't bother trying to fool the inspection station by disconnecting the battery or using any other method to erase the trouble code and turn off the "check engine" light. Your vehicle's computer will let the inspection station know that its codes have been erased, and you'll just have to go back again.

Hope it turns out to be a loose gas cap, that has to be the cheapest, easiest, possibility.

I'm thinking more likely my transmission fluid is low. (it's happened before) Unhappily it's not something I can get at myself so I do need a mechanic. I made an appointment at my mechanics and my friend Judy will take me to school and back. i postponed the CAT scan until Monday. Thanks for the info. I did know about the gas cap but that's not it...

The school will get me a sub only if I'm too ill to get one myself...If we go over our allotted sick days or personal days we have to pay for the sub too....ain't a teacher's life grand! -S

I'm car-less now but the mechanic thinks it sounds like a spark plug tune-up and maybe just a transmission fluid fill up so I guess I'll clam down It's so complicated to lose a car for even a day! i miss mass transit on days like this. Anyway I hope your day was productive and stress free....

My friend Ellen came by with a Key Lime tart she had made to celebrate my year anniversary..She was with me the day I was told my diagnosis. Life continues..

I hope that the memories of the weekend haven't completely worn off. It was rather good, wasn't it?

yes it was hard getting on that subway train back to reality....I know Let's run away together!

Brrrrr Are you warm enough? It's unbelievably cold! Where's that warm body when you need it!( thinking of you..).

hummph, so that's all I am, just a warm body?! It's actually OK down here, at least indoors...That said, I would be the last one to turn down some extra heat, literal or metaphorical, from a certain person if she happened to be here. It's also a shame to waste all of Mayor Bloomberg's generously donated gas on heating this one, solitary, body. Just checked the forecast for Tillson and it is 17 going down to 8 (!) tonight and about the same tomorrow also. Friday and Saturday are going to be better, though still not exactly balmy but Sunday you can get back to only a couple of layers of clothing as the highs will be back to the low 30s. No precipitation and sunny most days so it should look quite beautiful from behind glass.

Just been outside and it's a little fresh but probably not quite as bad as where you are. The pied piper is here to bait the traps and it's a new guy who hasn't been here before so I had to show him where the outside bait boxes are located. He looked at me somewhat askance when I went out in my Poe t-shirt and sweat pants - he said "it's cold out" twice, thinking I hadn't heard the first time. I shaded the truth and told him I was from Scotland and that seemed to make it OK. Actually just finished chatting to him before he left and it seems that the temperature here is around 16 - pretty much the same as Tillson. Didn't feel that cold when I went out but I really was not out for long, just a quick walk around the cottage.

No you are NOT just a warm body to me, let me set the record straight here and now! But that said it is one of your better and most endearing attributes (lol)...especially this time of year..I wish I could be there to help with the gas savings but alas I'm consuming my own oil in a like manner.

How's the leak in the kitchen? not reaching waterfall proportions I take it? I'm waiting for news of my car with bated breath.The kids are OK. I have one vacationing in Mexico and another going to Utah to ski on Thursday..nothing of great interest here just same old same old...enjoy the day. I'll try not to become a human Popsicle any time soon. 8 degrees!!! the windchill is -7 by the way. I'll dream of warmer climes...

Dang...$550.00 for the car.....(sigh) some sort of vaccuum leak in the manifold?? and something else I don't really remember (I'm in shock) There goes another portion of my savings.. can't get ahead to save my life..oh well it's" only money" as my dad would say. -S

Look at it this way. You were quite ready to start repaying a $200 pm loan (and probably a little more insurance) so it only has to keep going for another 3 months and you are even. After that every other month is a gift. Also, your Dad was right, it is only money and thanks to last year you have a whole new perspective to view it in. Smile and say thankyou to God, or the Universe if you prefer, for all the good things in your life. Sorry, is that too much like preaching?

no it's reassuring...I sometimes get a little too gloomy and need to keep these things in perspective...thanks.-S

Am feeling somewhat lethargic. I should be doing more CafePress designs but the creative juices are not flowing yet. Is your heating up to the task of keeping you warm?

yes the heater is still working(knock on wood). I know about the lethargy. I haven't even looked at a canvas since last week. Winter just puts me into hibernation mode. I guess it's a natural thing to feel in the cold weather. I'm glad January is mostly over. Of course there is still February but I get another break (to share with you!) at some point around the President's birthdays. Something to look forward to..

You could be down here as soon as 9 days from now. or are you really going to wait until Presidents' Day weekend? Have you opened your Chimay cheese yet? I still have not digested the prices of some of those cheeses at Garden Gourmet..

Oh for heaven's sake YOU know I'm coming sooner then THAT! And not only have i opened that cheese, i've been inhaling's really good. That market was a great "find". Maybe not for everyday but for special things and it's near a Shoprite so you wouldn't be wasting time or $ to go there once or twice a month, you could get regular grocery stuff at Shoprite. Anyway,my Feb break is the week of Feb. 18-22. but I'll see you LOOONGG before then...

OK, in my subtle way I was just reminding you that it is only 9 days, Today was some kind of Catholic sales day on CafePress. I sold 12 of these - he's a Jesuit saint, and 2 Ignatius Loyola boxes and 5 Catholic-themed calendars.

Useless factoid: Did you know that Crosby was (very) loosely based on 'One Foot in the Grave'?

Ok I give up what or who is Crosby? remember I have little to know short term memory left..should I know this? Oh and yahoo for Catholic Sales Day. May you have many more!

Sorry, I meant Cosby. I thought he was big over here like Cheers and Seinfeld but obviously not: Cosby is an American situation comedy television series broadcast on CBS from September 16, 1996 to April 28, 2000, loosely based on the British sitcom One Foot in the Grave. The program stars Bill Cosby and Phylicia Rashād, who previously worked with Cosby in the 1984–1992 sitcom The Cosby Show. Madeline Kahn portrayed their neighbor, Pauline, until her death in 1999.

Oh Cosby I know, Crosby was what threw me. Bill Cosby is an icon here and i watched his show for years. Funny, the two shows don't seem similar to me....

Cabin Fever with 8 year olds: Yikes, We aren't taking kids outside because of the cold weather and they are bouncing off the walls! Thank goodness for i-pads..I have 3 in my classroom and they double up on them. I never thought I'd be so happy about kids using electronics but they're saving my sanity at the moment..(we're very strict about what they can do on them) How are things your way? I dare say a bit quieter then here -S

Good Morning, Sue! Without doubt things are quieter here than with you, it would not be difficult. I have been brain-storming to think of ways of giving your kids the outlets for energy that the weather is depriving them of but so far no great ideas. It does strike me that it is not the "being outdoors" that is the problem but not being able to do whatever it is they do outdoors - socialising, playing, having fun, making noise, expending physical energy etc. If this is so, is there somewhere indoors that they can do some of that "stuff" or some other replacement (or displacement) activity? Reluctantly I have to assume that greater minds than mine have pondered this question and (metaphorically) kicked it to death and that the chances of me stumbling on a solution, especially without knowing the school and what it offers in terms of inside spaces, are slim-to-none so I will reluctantly let go. I found a blog that will probably interest you. A link arrived in my constant 'Edgar Allan Poe' sweep on Google, it was to a post about some of Poe's love letters but the lady whose blog it is is a voracious reader who, a few years ago, embarked on an adventure which involved reading a book a day for a year:

Believe me I have tried a lot of things to keep them active! Anyway, the blog is interesting. The things she lists as being opportunities for reading are actually ideas I've seen in Reading teacher's literature. We use things like that to encourage kids to read wherever they are! I spend so much time driving but I know people who listen to books on tape during their commutes. If I get an I-pod I can do that too but my cassette/CD player doesn't work in my car....

I suppose the Name Game might work... (I just had an unwelcome distraction. My computer developed a 'bug' and I couldn't right-click and copy. It was giving me a "not enough memory" message which a Google search told me was due to some kind of problem in the registry. I ended up uninstalling a couple of things that I thought might be contributing and then doing a system restore. Touch wood it seemed to work and I was able to paste the above link OK)

What do you think?

It's very clever and cute. It should be a winner...I noticed it had a list of related subjects next to it that had topics like construction machinery, egoistic and a bunch of other very strange ideas...what keywords did you put it into? are you jollyjapes?

Jolly Japes is my nom de plume for stuff that is experimental, risque or just plain in bad taste.

Keywords? I can't remember them all but certainly valentine, funny, humor, earth moving....maybe sexy, suggestive, Perhaps I need to revisit the keywords and try to avoid some of the more esoteric associations. I imagine it would turn more than a few heads if you showed up at school in one of the hoodies?!

It would certainly set some tongues wagging! The kids might wonder why I "loved" a bulldozer.

Another chilly night...Out of curiousity I just poked my head out of the back door and it is definitely a mite chilly. I just looked up New Palz and the weather channel is saying it is 10 degrees but that the wind-chill is making it feel like minus 5! I hope that you are managing to keep warm and that you don't have any exposed pipes.What happens in your basement when it gets this cold? Do you have your car back yet?I have to say that, I'm sure largely thanks to you, this week has gone remarkably quickly.

It is VERY cold. My pipes are mostly PVC so shouldn't freeze in this. I have had metal pipes freeze before so I'll hold my breath...Yes, I got my car back. Hopefully it turns over, runs without bucking and stalling and that the door latches don't freeze up again...just my usual "wish" list for a wintry morning. Is it a good thing to make time go faster? I'd like to drag it out as slowly as possible. I guess I have a different perspective on that now. Each minute that the blood pulses through my veins seems precious indeed...but I do wish I could spend more time with you (as slowly as possible) the universe spins at such a damn fast pace....

Good point about time, another perspective is good. On a certain level I probably am wishing it away, and that's not good. However the perception of "time flying" is usually associated with 'busy' or 'enjoyable' times. I do seem to recall that this time last week, or maybe on Tuesday or Wednesday to be more precise, you were wishing time would pass faster. Or is my memory playing tricks?

Ok you caught me...i'm nothing if not of my other "foibles"....(?) and yes I also want, on some very impatient level, for the time between now and when i see you again to "fly"..your memory is quite right...and i am a contradiction ....

There's nothing at all wrong with wanting to have fun and be busy and productively engaged between "now" and "then" because that way you get the best of all worlds. Living in the moment, for lots of moments, and not having a sense of time "dragging" between "now" and "then". So, you are actually not a contradiction at all. You are entirely logical and all you needed was for me to explain it.

You call me the most interesting things. Logical has never been a big part of my character description but then maybe it's time for a change . Thanks for the up-grade!

Perhaps 'rational' would be a better word - similar outcome but less process-driven. Do you think rational is a better fit than logical? You choose!

oh....and indescribably nice to wake up with and make love to. Come to think about it why are we wasting time debating between rational and logical??

I didn't know we were...but I think you hit it with rational...I may be random and abstract in a lot of ways but I don't think I'm "irrational" and i miss you too...especially the waking up and making love to part which is indeed indescribably wonderful (at least for me)...I'm also very fond of the talking, cuddling, discussing, eating with, going places, giggling and laughing together name a few...

Very well put, am in 110% agreement..

Got a little nostalgic for last weekend...this week will be busy but kind of lonely...hope you have a lot of "traffic" through the house tomorrow. I have to go to Troy, NY on Friday. I got myself signed up for a day long teacher conference I don't really even want to go to ( I signed up in November)..I might duck out early and head back to P'ok to catch the train...I can't skip it entirely I'd feel guilty about wasting the money they spent on it and I have to "report" back about it at a faculty meeting.. Curses foiled again! I WILL be coming to the Bx though...I just may fall asleep as soon as I get there (just kidding).

And Monday is CAT scan day (yuck) ..oh well it's better to get checked then not...any more shirts in the works? People have to find those. They are really special.

Worst case appears to be that you will not get down until about 8/8.30 on Friday which is not too bad. It would have been more convenient if it had been somewhere halfway down to NY but that was not to be. Be sure you know what you are doing if you leave early, you could end up like Peter Sellers in the film where he played a librarian having an affair - he wrote a review of a play he was supposed to have seen and ommited to mention that the theatre burned down after the interval! Whenever you get down here there will be a very warm reception awaiting and food to stop you from fainting... I have a couple more shirts 'in the works' but that Monet section is almost done. In between times I have been using some of the images to fill out a Monet curtains and duvet covers section and I will probably do some ordinary t-shirts and other bits and pieces.

No way am I going to be that late getting there. Troy is about an hour and a half away. I'll leave around 1or2 and still catch the 4:40 like I've been doing. I won't be "grilled" about the conference, I just have to summarize or talk about one aspect of it that was interesting..believe me it isn't a big deal.... I love Peter Sellers by the way. Stay busy. It's REALLY cold here but I have a full tank of oil so no worries. S

I did say "worst", better would be good but do whatever you have to - that's the Scottish work ethic coming out.. I was just going to do a couple but it is turning into a few more. You've probably gotten me wound up with the promise of an exhibition or even just sales. There is more than a little of the "build it and they will come" mentality here because I don't think that style of t-shirt has caught on yet and I wonder a little bit about the fabric - probably very nice feel and appearance but will people go for it? I do keep coming back to the fact that the Met has them - I think same process and fabric. The process is die-sublimation which should be good in terms of achieving strong bright colours.

My "surprise" just arrived and I'm very impressed. The shirt is very good quality and the design really looks nice. It's 100% polyester , which gives it a silky hand. The one thing I did notice was at the sleeve joinings in the underarm area there were some smallish folds that created a small pocket and the design is missing so there are white spaces (about an inch long and it tapers from about 1/4 of an inch to less in width . It looks like a sliver of white but it's under the arms so might not be a problem... then again if someone shells out $62.00 they might be annoyed by my eye they kind of blend in but they are definitely the only stark white on the shirt.. . Some of the paintings are a little less "sharp" then the actuals but the effect is kind of soft focus, not blurry.This mainly happened with the Bridge picture in the middle and may be because of the enlargement, it lost some pixels or whatever..I don't know. I think this happens when you print on fabric anyway so it's not a big deal.

I hope i don't sound critical but just thought you needed to know some of the variations that I noticed. i really love it!

All in all it's very well made. I will of course "model" it today as your personal representative and give you any feedback I get. Who knows I could be your very own human "tupperware party"! (I'll explain that comment if you're not sure what i mean)...thank you for sending it, it's lovely and I 'm really excited to wear it and show people your work. I won't point out any of the above. we'll see if it's noticed...-S

Thanks for the feedback. I haven't time for a long message but just wanted to say that I hope the sizing is OK. I think that medium would probably have worked but was worried about the length and so opted for large. In case of a problem with sizing or quality the CP returns policy is excellent.

It fits fine. I have to wear it over a long sleeve shirt (dark green it looks good) because Robbie's house is very cold and I don't want to wear a sweater over it.

I wasn't concerned about those things I mentioned for ME I just wanted to give you some feedback.....I personally wouldn't return it because of those very minor issues....S.

Back from the party. Your shirt was a hit although I have to tell you they were more interested finding out about YOU then the shirt.( I'm the only single one in the bunch so they all live vicariously through me ) anyway, they all told me the shirt was beautiful and unique. A number of them complimented me on it as soon as they saw it. They were a little staggered at the price but I told them about the sales etc. My friend Pistu,( she's from Chile), was very interested in Cafe Press so she might check them out.I gave her your website info. She has an 8 month old baby, so her time is a little taken up at the moment..but we'll see. Anyway, how was your day? I have a lot of work to do on reports still so I'm going to be pretty busy tonight and tomorrow..-S

Ok, tours all finished. A quiet day, not quite as bad as last Sunday but close. Not really complaining because the people who did visit were a nice crowd and showing them around was very low-stress. Now the full story re your shirt. I ordered it late night last Monday/early am Tuesday. I had been monitoring prices for a couple of weeks and almost bought one a week or so earlier but when I thought I had the price at an acceptable level the CS lady told me I would have to pay by credit card which is quite ridiculous when I had a credit of about $400 on my CP account. Anyway, last Monday night, using an MLK day coupon code I finally got the price below $40 (about $43 with S&H) and there was even an extra $3 and change I'd forgotten about which was the 10% commission on the sale so the grand total including shipping was less than $40 and that's probably as good as it gets. Delivery was quoted as being sometime next week. It did not immediately go into production, that happened on Wednesday and it did not ship until Wednesday evening with a promise of delivery by Jan 29th. As usually happens with small items shipping is via UPS and for small packages UPS has a deal with USPS which often means faster delivery than UPS truck which, from KY would have been 3-4 days. I watched the tracking and, sure enough, within a day or so it was in CT and by Friday night in Newburgh which meant delivery either Saturday or Monday rather than the Tuesday ETA that was the original estimate. You know the rest. I am glad that you like it and I do appreciate the detailed critique and understand that you were going into detail, not necessarily concerns. My comment about ease of return was to reassure you that it you were/are the least bit hesitant about the sizing it can easily be changed. I was honestly in two minds about whether to go medium (said to be 6-8) or large (10-12). Body-wise I'd place you in an 8 but height-wise maybe a 10 (??) and then it's down to "fit" and that's a pure guess. Seems like my decision was OK. The image softness is not a surprise. I probably did stretch that Japanese bridge image further than I should and the softness is even a little noticeable on screen. Perhaps it's not too bad when combined with the night-time impressionist images but I could maybe tweak it or even change to a different image going forwards. I'm not suggesting any change in terms of your shirt, just an improvement in case I eventually sell one. I do understand the idea of a Tupperware party, we had them in the UK, I even was once considered for a European HR job with Tupperware though nothing came of it. Should you get into the mode of pointing people towards it I should show you how you can tell people how to access these products through the CafePress Marketplace because I would want anyone we recommend to get the best price and, with coupons and special offers, that will often be via the Marketplace. Although this means a slightly lower margin for me I'm more comfortable pointing people towards the best deal where there is personal contact. With strangers it's a whole 'nother story. I will be interested in Laura's take on it too. Which would be your next choice? I'll bet you would like one of the Water Lily ones. From an advertising perspective I would say either a Monet collage (probably the first one) or maybe back to the Klimt. It's academic for now but I'm curious all the same. XX

I must say you do know my "body type" You hit my sizes spot on. I usually wear 10's for comfort of fit but can fit into 8's too, especially on top...i'm glad it was delivered in time so i could wear it to a gathering of women friends and talk it up. As for the Monet's I do like the waterlilies mainly because I look good in those colors (lavender blues, greens) but I do like that first collage one too. Everyone thought the colors on the Van Gogh were beautiful. One interesting thing. One of my old friends was there today. She used to be our LS Head but I also team taught with her when I first went to work at PDS. Her husband is a curator of American Furniture at the Met and she now lives in NY She smiled when I said you had been inspired by the shirts in the Met store....she also thought the shirt was beautiful... what did you tell them? An under-employed, ex-corporate type advancing in years who didn't even have a shower-head?

NO! The shower head story is only meant for you and me... I simply told them I had met you online and our first "date" was at the Met. That we had hit it off immediately and were really having fun with each other. I told them you had traveled all over the world, which still impresses me who has made maybe 10 trips by airplane in my entire life. I told them about the Edgar Allan Poe Cottage gig which they thought was very enterprising of you! (as do I!) and then talked about the cafepress things you've been doing. They were happy for me that i had (finally) met someone who was obviously not an ego maniacal, self-centered, sarcastic bastard which is apparently my old "type"...who knew? I did tell you, you were a lot different from the men I usually end up with right? Much better by the way! It's a constant surprise and relief to me that I'm not in an uphill battle to "please"you all the time. A little brush with cancer seems to have cleared my head of a lot of foolish nonsense from my past.

My women friends are only interested in the important stuff: is he good for you?, does he treat you well? etc. everything else is nonsense and we know it.Hell, they're all so happy that I'm even still alive to BE in a relationship with someone. It's all good. Envision a big hug right here..

Hey, I wasn't really serious! Curious, a tad, serious, not a jot. I suppose I'm really interested in what, out of the info that is in the 'public domain', you consider important. For the most part, however, I have a pretty good sense of how things are without additional input. I must say that you have really let go of your inhibitions in email today. I've counted two hugs and two kisses already, and the night is yet young....X

XXXXXXXXXXXX what are these anyway? are they kisses or hugs? I'm feeling very adolescent tonight...I just wish I could plant them on you in person and hey who's counting anyway!

I was always taught, or at least learned, the Xs were kisses. Not sure if there is an equivalent for a hug. Bear in mind that this was in days of pen and ink, or pencil, and long before smilies were even dreamt of. I'm just noticing that you are a little more expressive today, which I think is a healthy sign.

I'm actually a very expressive person once I feel really comfortable with mean you haven't noticed :)? Actually, I'm not sure what you mean? Do I seem overly guarded? There are reasons but I hope I don't come across as an "unfeeling" or cold person? Oh bother..

Some observations...(I also don't want to appear cold or unfeeling) are very definitely expressive and lost most of your inhibitions on date 2, a few of the remaining ones on date 3 and all but what can at very most be one or two (?) on date 4. However, that's all in the flesh, as it were, and what I was referring to was your correspondence which today seemed to be a better mirror or the 'real you' than had hitherto been the case. For me this is somewhere between seeing a flower opening and a butterfly emerging from its coccoon - both very delicate and both quite beautiful - and I do know that it is a question of your feeling 'comfortable' and perhaps because I want you to be comfortable I am sensitive to the behaviours which tell me when you are becoming more so. Boy, I feel like I am using more tautology than Poe! Not complaining at all, just observing, admiring and name but 3. N

Ok I feel better. I wasn't sure what you meant and i can be overly sensitive to what I think might be my "failings ". I'm usually not this neurotic I promise! Didn't mean to make you overuse your tautology...over and over and over......

Actually, considering how reserved you are and where you are coming from, the rate at which you dropped those inhibitions is beyond incredible....and we are both reveling in it - well I know I am!

Yes, it astounds me as much as you! The strange thing is I don't feel all that "reserved" when I'm around you. but I think you know that. I feel very safe with you and that's pretty miraculous for me and probably why I dropped the fast. just wish i could be with you more but things are what they are...(that's a profound statement if ever I uttered one, duh)

very funny. The only one i wasn't too fond of was the trained killer but it might appeal to some other folks..

Sales Slow The post-Christmas lull is underway with a vengeance. Last 24 hrs, just 3 Guardian Angel magnets and a Mucha Mug. The commissions would probably not buy enough Starbucks coffee to fill the mug. However, I am patient, CafePress can surprise and like the proverbial kettle will not boil when being watched...

It must be so frustrating to do all that work and put so much up and then drip drip drip like Chinese water torture...I wish I knew how to get people interested...oh well as they say, feast or famine so I guess this is the dreary famine time...the next big shopping frenzy is coming up with V-day I hang in there.It's a bright sunshiny day today which is nice..time to get some much needed vitamin D.

Gee I just realized we met each other (in person anyway) a month ago today. Wow, where did the time go! Hope your day was busy...We're supposed to get icy stuff later tomorrow.

I should be done with the cat scan around noon so I'm looking forward to a quiet afternoon NOT trying to drive home on ice.. I'm ready for winter to go away now...I miss those balmy winters we've been having the last couple of years..ah the cycle continues. (xx, 2 for you) Any more funny valentine ideas?

Today was on the quiet side but not totally dead. Quite an interesting bunch of people which included a couple of mother/daughter combos, a guy from Oregon who is writing a novel about Poe, a young-ish student architect from Fordham (who said I reminded him of the Jesuits and that he meant it in a complimentary way) and a lady of indeterminate years who is a librarian at the Botanical Gardens Library which is apparently one of the largest of its kind in the world and has a huge collection of botanical related prints and drawings and works going back to the 12thC. She invited me to stop by and will arrange free admission. When talking to her I mentioned that my 'significant other' had suggested using botanical art for CP items. No, I had not remembered our first month's anniversary. Way back, in another lifetime, I would have been attuned to that one but I seem to have taken my eye off the ball. I'm trying to figure whether it feels like a lot or a little and, on balance, I would say that we have packed quite a lot into a little. Certainly in terms of getting to know each other but also spending quite a goodly amount of 'quality' time together within a relatively short period. We probably have your directness on that second date to thank for that, left to me we might have been still in hands-off mode. Not that I was a hesitant or reluctant follower, I just might not have taken the lead. When did you 'decide' I was staying over? You certainly did, there was no doubt, you decided and that was that. (Surprisingly?) Very forward and very definite. Interesting. No more funny Valentine ideas but something could occur to me and take me by surprise. Glad you are done with your grand opus. N

I actually didn't think of it as an anniversary or anything. Just a marker in time. I was forward wasn't I? I just don't believe in wasting time, that said you did ask if you could kiss me which opened the door (metaphorically).. when did I decide?? Honestly,? Before you even got on the train...I just wasn't sure you would feel the same way about it. I have been rejected in my younger days so I know how to move on if necessary but was hoping I wouldn't need to... I've never been coy or a game player and I guess as I got older I've become assertive in terms of letting people know I like them. That said I've been startled and taken aback when people have come on to me too quickly or unexpectedly so I apologize if it was uncomfortable and out of your comfort zone, although you seem to have adjusted to it...(my friend Lynn likes to tease me and call me Susie floozy but in fact I'm very particular!)

My ex-husband used to tell me about that library. He said he had done research there in his college days. He also told me the zoo also had an amazing library but they shut it down and moved the contents into storage in the 70's. He grew up in that neighborhood...It would be amazing and wonderful to see the Botanic collection. I've always had a real attraction to those kinds of drawings...Your visitors sound interesting. I think the architect must have pyschic powers and knows you live in a spartan environment (hence the Jesuit label) just least he didn't think you were monastic...I've changed that aspect of your life (lol)

Uncomfortable? Not a bit! If I was outside my comfort zone it was only my (as explained) reticence about sex in general (which you have been amazingly able to dispel) and had at least prepared for the possibility by packing a toothbrush and spare socks and underwear. My feelings? Very very comfortable, flattered, privileged, emotional. From all I have observed and what you have told me there is no way you could even remotely be described as a floozy. Suzie choosy rhymes just as well and is far more apt. I can probably get us both into the library but it will probably need to be sometime you are down here on a weekday.

yeah, I noticed you came with a "bag" so I figured it was on your wave length too.....anyway I'm glad I was helpful in "dispelling the reticence". and hadn't shocked your system too much. I have that break in Feb. maybe we could go to see the library then. I think I said the 18-22nd...I'm watching a really neat show on PBS about craftspeople. potters, weavers, felters etc. and their processes. fascinating! S

The "bag" was really to carry my Kindle with all the music I had loaded onto it to listen to on the train...well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. By 'Monastic' I assume that you mean celibate? I am still a bit puzzled about what he did mean. I thought at first he was going to be a really tough audience but it actually went well with him and I was able to connect with him. The show sounds interesting, it would be nice to be watching it together. Domestic bliss is often underrated IMO, not that I would necessarily have said that 30 years ago but I guess that's OK.

It was very interesting. It was a program sponsored by the American Craft Museum (on 57th st I think) and highlighted several "very important" elder crafts people. The pottery part featured an English potter named Bernard Leach and his association with a Japanese potter named Shoji Hamada and the Pottery they founded together in the 1960's.

I also appreciate domestic bliss, and more so as I get older. I imagine you didn't have much opportunity if you traveled as much as I think you must have 30 years in that regard I'm glad you're "grounded"...

Lisa is the librarian who came to the museum today. It took me a while to track her down because her handwriting was hard to read and I started off looking for a Studter but I eventually tracked her down via the NYBG website and you will be interested to learn that she is an accomplished woodcut artist. Here's a link to her site: and it definitely is her because the website references an article on a blog and that mentions her job as a Catalogue Librarian. You two will definitely get along. Didn't do any more designing this evening. Watched a thriller called Metro starring Eddie Murphy in a serious role. Didn't expect much but it was actually not bad. There were a couple of spectacular car-chase action sequences set in San Francisco - a little more up to date and even more destructive with several cars doing somersaults and flying through mid-air but didn't quite have the classiness of the SF car chase in Bullitt with Steve McQueen. I guess you are in or at least getting ready for bed. I'm not going to wish you luck for tomorrow, I feel sure it will be OK and you know I will be thinking of you. Had a couple of small sales - both phone covers. One was a Matisse which is a fairly new design - certainly in the past month and 'under your influence'. I should do some updated blog entries referencing some of the new designs. The blogs do get a little traffic but in any case it helps the overall prominence in search engine rankings.

Thanks for the link. Her work is beautiful. It's interesting that she uses a technique that eventually destroys the woodcut itself. Says something about her commitment to the print and ability to "let go" of her process, literally!

You mention Bullitt and it brought back memories of my HS class trip to NYC in 1968 (or maybe 1969?). We went to the Radio City Music Hall and guess what was playing? Yep! Bullitt. The boys were thrilled the girls and the chaperones less so...but we lived through it ..Steve McQueen was "cute" anyway and we all fell in love with him..ah adolescence....

I am a tad anxious about this stupid CAT not because of any negative result but they always have a hard time inserting the needle for the contrast. Last time they had to find someone who was"really" good at it( after two failed attempts) and she literally had to hold it in while she hand pumped the inky hurt like hell so I'm not exactly pysched about doing it again. Oh well, stiff upper lip and all that, don't want to act like a baby....I've been through worse. (ugh) I'll be in touch when I get home.

Well, my fears were unfounded, the needle went in as slick as can be.. Whew.... I'll call tomorrow and see if they'll give me the results. I was told it would be "read" today but the Dr. may not be around to give me results today..we'll see. I'm glad I had an early appt. because the roads are awful and school districts are calling closings left and right. It's always chaos in private schools because you have kids from so many different districts and you have to inform all the parents and see what arrangements they've made and there are always kids "left over" who get picked up later then's bedlam and I don't have to do it! How's your day so far? quiet I would imagine...

Wow, you did get out early! It's a pity we are so far apart, it would have been a great opportunity to share some domestic bliss! I did a bit more work on my Monet section overnight. While I would not say for an instant that it is "finished" - far too many things I can (and indeed may) add such as cards, magnets, posters, lots of things using rectangular images instead of the near-square ones - it is certainly a lot more filled-out. There are lower priced t-shirts in just about every design and even a few more all-over ones. I wondered about doing some "half-overs" with white backs. There are a few online and they are noticeably cheaper but I have (so far) decided to maintain the integrity and keep "all" meaning just that. Actually had a sale from my own shop yesterday, it was a Harry Clarke poster and I think the buyer was one of my museum customers yesterday - the writer from Oregon. Not a huge mark-up but $7 instead of just $3.50 or so. Found a new series you will probably enjoy. Brand new, hot off the press and only just shown on British TV in the last couple of weeks. Some episodes of a new adaptation of Father Brown stories set in the English Cotswolds. Here is episode 1 for you:​

Thanks I'll check the video out. I wish we could spend the day together too.

This is the drawback to seeing someone 60 or 70 miles away..I would have enjoyed a day snuggling as the snow comes down..and it IS coming down now! They say an inch but I'm wondering....Anyway, since my reports are finished I can spend the day on some art work which I have been neglecting of late. I have some ideas for a cut-paper collage of florals and birds. I look forward to (possibly) seeing that Botanical collection. I also noticed that the Museum of Art and Design is free on Friday Nights 6-9. It's at Columbus Circle. I knew it as The American Craft Museum when it lived across from MOMA but I guess they revamped and moved! Another future visit might be the Museum of Folk Art which is a little gem of a museum next door to MOMA..anyway, thinking ahead. I'll bring less luggage, it was such a pain lugging that stuff ... That's so nice that a Poe Cottage visitor looked up your site AND actually bought something! Good luck with Monet. He is very popular. I like the posters of the collages. For people who want multiple images or can't make up their minds. Keep warm (without me) XX

(Drum roll)....and now for something COMPLETELY (well, a little bit) different: (Da da ching) and to see the entire collection:

I think you've covered all the bases! Simple is good...

I realized I sent it without an explanation. I was thinking about how frustrating it is to do creative work and not know if it will ever become rewarding (clearly in an economic way). It's one of those things that I personally have always avoided confronting until recently. I think that statement "work through it" really resonates for me. You seem to know how to do it because you ARE doing it every day. I just thought seeing that kind of idea in print would be interesting to you. It was for me....

When I first saw it I thought it was mainly relevant to you, because you are the one who does what I honestly perceive to be "Real Art". Only sometimes do I think of what I do as "Real Art" because it is derivative and doesn't employ much of what I think of as "artistry". It is more akin to marketing: the application of popular images and words to gift items, apparel and now household "stuff" with a purely commercial objective. I think of myself as competing with companies like Hallmark and other purveyors of cards and giftware. Even my own photography can easily be replicated by anyone with a camera and tripod. Conversely your art is taking a blank sheet of paper or canvas, or several sheets of paper, and taking something from your minds-eye and applying it to create something totally NEW and ORIGINAL. Really far more of an achievement. However, when I'd got about halfway down the page it began to resonate in terms of my writing, which IS creative according to a definition I can relate to and so maybe you and whoever authored that are sending me a message that I have to listen to... Just as an aside we do make a very nice couple and our artistry, such as it is, is in some way quite complimentary and we also compliment each other in very deep and meaningful ways. And THAT is quite profound and I'm glad it found its way onto the screen. XX

I also thought of it in terms of your writing, although your photography is also "real art" whatever the definition of THAT is...I hesitated to say it because I don't want you to think I'm being critical, I'm NOT, I want to be supportive (always)..and god knows I left my art moldering in the background of my life for years! I know how it can eat away at your soul not to do the thing you feel is closest to your heart of my case part of my identity was missing and it felt so empty. I filled it with other things but there was always a wistful ache because I wasn't doing what I knew I was meant to do.

.I don't know if that's how you feel but I do know how hard it is to take that first step and keep going...and yes, it does get easier. The perfectionist part is truly the hardest part to overcome and move beyond. That graphic did have that right. i feel the same by the yes we are a very" nice" couple...and we complement each other, (in more ways then one), better then I could have believed possible...and it's only been a month! BigXX (so silly, but fun)

I know, she's in love, so why is she wearing a garment that's harder to get into than Fort Knox? Well, maybe she's "there" and he's not, that would account for this apparent illogicality. Anyway I think it is cute and there is a company called PyjamaGram which charges quite big bucks to have the exact garment but with not such a great design, maybe no design at all, delivered with some kind of message. Did you see the teddy bear as well? It's not often that my designs work on these types of products. Oh, and check out the All Overs - the one with the purple lettering has a Monet picture on the back. XX

Oh but there should be a little reticence or at least the appearance of it ..right? (not my style obviously) I love footed PJ's (although I don't wear them- too confining) I did see the Teddy, a very popular gift by the way..(I'm very partial to warm and fuzzy in case you haven't noticed)

I hadn't noticed that some had Monet I'll have to look again. I liked that show you sent .You certainly know what I like and it didn't take very long for you to figure it out either. xx

Warm and fuzzy is nice. It could be fun snuggling up to you in a soft, fluffy, one-piece but we'd have to be careful not to build up static, it could blow one or both of us off the settee or out of bed. Knowing what you like is not that hard, it's just a question of paying attention and applying a little intelligence. Being interested helps too. Your ideas for exploring NYC sound interesting. Even though the distance is an issue being close to the city down here has its compensations. Also, don't be shy about leaving some of your things down here if it will save you some of the schlepping. You can take that as a sign that I am seeing this as something long term, because it is. XX

I'm I actually was thinking about leaving stuff with you but was afraid I'd seem too "forward" I guess I will if it's OK with you. I actually meant YOU were warm and are you know( it's why I can't keep my hands off of you)...I wouldn't want much between us.. static electricity should be contained that way...

getting more acclimated to being in the city again. I need to think of things to occupy me on Sat. when you're working..Although I don't mind doing things by myself I would prefer doing them with you but realistically it's not happening so must make the most of this ...Friday nights seem to be a good opportunity or not. I don't have to go places, just hanging out in "domestic bliss" works for me too. that said I did look up those two places and they both have moved! One is on Columbus Circle and the other one is somewhere around Lincoln Ctr..strange..I wasn't there that long ago maybe 2 years ago...NY is a bustlin' place. xx

I thought you might be "afraid" which is why I mentioned it. I was going to insert a long Poe-like sentence here about reticence and the 'cautious me' but I was probably in danger of being even fuzzier than you already think I am (me, fuzzy??) so it can wait for a face to face, or a face to back of head because that works just as well. How much "stuff" do you need to further your art? I realise that to fully advance things you need every implement, brush, pigment, piece of paper and all to work but are there any parts of your 'process' that you can do here? Just curious really. Another place to put on your list for Fridays or Saturdays might be the Bronx Museum of Art down the road. Is MOMA ever free, or do we just have to bite the bullet on that one someday? We should not forget the Met either; I could certainly enjoy spending quality time with you there and it is open late every Friday. Speaking of your art has Laura STILL not helped you out by taking pictures? Have you tried taking some yourself? You really just need to steady the camera and watch for the lighting... Of the two places you mention I think I recall the one which would have been across from MOMA - something art and design - because it was close to the Church of the Heavenly Rest on 5th where I did some picture-taking and participated in a Christmas Fare. I'm surprised it has moved, it had all the appearance of somewhere that had been there 'forever' and would be destined to remain there 'forever'. I must look online and see if I recognise it. So, Susan, when you were last here you mentioned 'necking on the subway', isn't it fun rediscovering PDAs (public displays of affection) at the tender age of over-60? I'm reveling in it and I don't feel the least bit self-conscious. Should I? Just some musings...XX

I don't know..I wondered what I could bring there to work on, a sort of portable collage set-up. I'll give it some thought. And NO Laura still hasn't taken photos.

As to the PDA I think they are's like being in a bubble just the two of who cares what anyone else's rather sweet actually..

The American Craft Museum was across from MOMA and the folk Art one was next door. I never knew the Bronx had an art museum..things are always changing and evolving that's for sure!

I'll be happy to talk face to face or back of head to face very soon I hope! I wish I didn't have to go to Troy Friday. I was thinking I could give it a skip but sooner or later they'd remember and ask me about it...guilt conquers all..( imagine this is a PDAxxx)

You do realise that the initials PDA are destined never again to mean Personal Digital Assistant or generic Hand Held Electronic device, at least as far as you are concerned? Also the next time someone asks you if you have a PDA, you are quite likely to burst out laughing... CafePress is getting quite aggressive with pricing, I hope they don't overdo it. I got an email notifying me of a 5 hour "flash sale" with up to 60% off and I ran a couple of items to see what discounts showed up. On the all-over the discount was only about 22% off about $60 - not even close to what I paid for yours (which I knew was a great deal), the Hooftie (hood and footie) bunny outfit pyjamas was only about 20% off but what caught me off-guard was that the Jr Raglan, a style of t-shirt I think would suit you, was marked-up to a regular price of $38. The base price (what I can get it for) is about $17 or $17.99 and my mark-up in my shop is only $4 making it around $21.99. To price it even pre-discount at $38 seems a bit steep, even with one of my (OK, Claude's) Water Lilies designs on it.

I keep "seeing" your shirts on my facebook page and yes I noticed they were advertising a 20% off sale. $38 does seem very high for that type of shirt. In the regular stores they would be more your $22 (Monet notwithstanding). You wonder who sets these things...

Having a high starting price means being able to give big discounts and create the impression that the consumer is getting a great deal. It's really OK as long as the artificial price is not seen too often and no-one is conned into paying it. However, even in their "flash" sale the price for the Jr Raglan is only dropping to around $28 which intuitively feels high (I think $22 is about right). I think that they are still in the process of putting their marketing game together for the all-overs. My sense is that the blanks (the basic white shirt) and the inks and the process are all somewhat higher cost than working with cotton but they need to more to promote them and show people how great they look. It is probably a whole new market - certainly there is a big gap between your basic tee with a cheesy message, even one of mine (!), and the level of sophistication of the shirts in the Met, which I hope the one you have is closer to. I hope that you have clicked on one of the "like" icons on Facebook. If you do that I think it gets more circulation and then if your friends do too, that's what viral is all about. Here are 2 links to two of the best ones that you can click that you "like":,776979479,776008801

egads I had no idea that "liking" it would do that! I'll like them every time they show up!

If only........someone would keyword seach "Dowry".

Ok I did and I" liked" a whole bunch of them for Facebook so let's see if it helps....

I think I feel a t-shirt coming on....Oh, Mr D'Arcy

She is my favorite. Aren't Americans just silly?

Good Morning, Susan! Are you feeling as good as you look (I'm sure!) Wish I was there to say Good Morning in person, but then you might end up being late for school...

and what a tragedy THAT would be...good morning back ... just hope my car doors aren't iced shut. Am checking right now!

they're NOT frozen so I'm free to go without mishap! It's actually mild nature has taken yet another turn..XX

Results from scan? Hi Sue, Have they called you yet?

No I have a call in to the Dr. but she isn't inthe office yet. On another note I got out of the Troy trip. I found a middle school teacher to take my place!!! Yay! What a relief... I REALLY didn't want to go there Friday and I couldn't find a sub either...

I understand your elation about being off the hook on Friday but I have to confess I would rather have had news from the doctor, I was beginning to worry...

Actually, I still haven't heard from her and that's good news. She said she would definitely get in touch if there was anything even remotely worrisome so in this case "no news is good news". I'm really not expecting any surprises ..not with the blood work results I had a few weeks ago. The office closed at 5 so I'll call in the morning but truly stop worrying..I'm me a cock-eyed optimist but there it is....I actually got scolded once on for trying to use that phrase in my profile. They told me no sexual language was allowed! whoa! was I taken by surprise..ME, guilty of using overtly sexual innuendo and in a fairly public forum!, moi !!! I laughed over that one for long while...2 1/2 days and counting...X

OK I'll stop worrying, for now, thanks to the missing detail about only really expecting a call in case of bad news or doubt. However I am mindful that ultrasonic scans are very expensive procedures and doctors don't order them willy-nilly (there's another word that would probably disapprove of)

She was going to have me do one in March but I told her I was feeling a pressure in my side, which I've felt all a long since my surgery. She ordered the scan early just to be on the safe side and with the comment that I already told's probably nothing more then scar tissue or muscle pain because I've been going to the gym and using really flabby muscles again.., so don't worry... (willy-nilly indeed!)

But not really new items. One is 'My Love is a Red Rose' by Burns on a framed tile and the other an oversize Poe/Harry Clarke calendar, the second today if I'm not mistaken. While I remember, how portable and how flat is your art? Would it be possible for me to scan some of it on my flat bed scanner? To 'qualify' it needs to be less than A4 size and to be OK under a loose-fitting lid (lighter than the lid on a photocopier). If it is feasible I'd like to try scanning a few pieces this weekend (hence the question re portability). I am mindful that it is not 2-dimensional and may be fragile but perhaps it would be OK with some pieces? I won't be able to print any copies (temporarily out of ink) but it would be good to have digital files. Did I ever tell you that you are really quite dishy...

Only now and then( lol) I should return the compliment but I don't know the Male equivalent of "dishy"??" spoony, forky??? some of the collages are on canvas board which is quite thin (less that a quarter inch..The newer ones I switched to 2 inch deep canvases( what is A4 size?) They're not all that fragile by the way so I'll bring a canvas board one. I have some small ones we can try..thanks!

Glad to hear about the sales today maybe, the valentine's day shopping has begun in earnest!

Listen, I'm sorry I left out the "detail" about not calling if everything is OK. I can be a dunce (as well as dishy). XX

Dishy is OK for men as well as women - it's one of those ambidextrous words. A4 is 11" x 8.5". A little overlap might be OK but it is best if the artwork fits within that space. We can experiment. No apology necessary, I wasn't being critical, just expressing my concern - something you might not be quite used to(?). Anyway, I'm looking forward to giving you a much more user-friendly, minor-invasive, all-over scan at the weekend. No appointment necessary and results available on request. XX

woohoo can't wait for that scan!!! you know you're almost scary the way you "get" me( or maybe I'm really easy to predict,or both.). Yes, I'm not used to it and it surprises me all the time... and it's very comforting..makes me feel less "alone" with the whole thing..but i don't want to worry you. Although if it were you I would worry too, it's only human to be concerned for people we care about...and I think it's Ok to admit we care about each other it would be stupid to think otherwise.

Anyway, my collage pieces are 6x6 or 8x8 I mainly use squares so that should work.

Google Ads: It seems that our latest exchange has Google Ads going into overdrive - this is the latest ad:Online Masters for K-12 Art Educators - Free Brochure! Should I click on it and have them send you a brochure?

OMG that's so strange!

Question to an artist - Is Monet so much more popular?

I just had a quick look using keywords "love/Renoir.../Van Gogh....and /Degas and although each has a handful of designs it IS just a handful whereas Monet seems to inspire much greater interest, at least if the number of t-shirt designs is to go by. I suppose I should do the same or similar designs for the other 3 as well (it costs nothing, after all) but I'm curious on your take about how you see them viewed in the public eye?

This is only my opinion mind you and NOT based on any research about this but Yes I think he is more recognizable and he does landscapes that include water which are (and I do have research on this one) the "favorite" subject matter of the human race (see The Art Instinct by Denis Dutton, so yes he does out rank the others. Also his colors are sumptuous and saturated. Not only does he paint landscapes with water but it feels like you are a part of the landscape when you view them.. oh I do go on..

No, please do go on! This is valuable insight for me. I have leaned towards pictures with water for shower curtains for obvious reasons but had no clue that water might be a "draw" for other designs such as t-shirts. I probably am addressing it, albeit accidentally, but this is good to know. What other pearls are you sitting on? Any more you can share?

I don't have any other pearls except that blue is the color that humans respond to with the most attachment. so blue landscapes...go for it!

I do use blue quite a lot in fonts when the background (usually white) works with it. It's an intuitive thing but it seems to work. What I haven't figured out properly is how to show fine art on shirts without it appearing to be just a "slab" against a black or white background. Clearly all-overs are a way of avoiding that (and I do think they are an excellent way and will catch on much more than at present. Even cost-wise if ~$30 is the going rate for an almost ordinary t-shirt then ~$45 or even $50 for something much classier is not a bad deal) and sometimes by isolating the subject, as with some Klimts or the figure in The Scream. But maybe I should be doing something with the borders to soften the harsh, straight edges. Quite a lot of the (ie my) latest Monets fit your parameters - blue, water, etc and so they should be popular provided I can get mine elevated above the competition, which I am determined to do. If the first scan is inconclusive would you mind if I did another one? X

as to many as you deem necessary (or me for that matter)

I'm thinking about borders of some kind....maybe a "picture frame" You've done that on other things. That book I referenced before talks about how landscapes with people in them are also very instinctive for people. You might want to find some Hudson River School paintings to try. They're all from the 19th cent. so should be OK to use...but back to borders. I'd have to try some variations I'm hopelessly visual and need to"see" stuff. Maybe this weekend you can show me more of the design process..

One way of finding inspiration is to browse CP for similar genres and see how other people do it. I will be happy to show you the process but bear in mind that when it comes to Photoshop and image prepping my skill-base is not great and I often find myself doing things a long way around or not at all.

Well you know more than I do that's for sure.I'd just be interested in figuring out the border thing.... if you want me to help that is...or think I could be of any help with it...or I could just mind my own business...

All help is welcome, especially from you. Working together on things is very appealing to me, as I feel sure it is to you, so forget nonsense like 'minding your own business'....


Thinking about you........very very fondly, and a lot.XX

ditto.. (sigh) xxxxxX

Good Mornin to you: I hope you don't see this for seem to have been up all night! Today we're "experiencing" the 100th day of school so in honor of the occasion everyone in the Lower School is wearing their PJ's to school. We'll be having hot chocolate and Belgian waffles for lunch..(well, they will I'm having a salad) It's always a welcome day to forget the doldrums of winter...Of course Some people have Pajama day every day (if they wanted to) but what's the fun in that?hmmm unless you have another person join you but then who would want the PJ's? missing you (always) XXthis one's for you...

It sounds like a variation on the groundhog thing. Why not go the whole way and just have your head mistress dressed up in her PJs and if she casts a shadow it means that the school year will finish in another 100 days or some such? I could even design a fluffy, all-in-one frootsie bunny outfit specially for her in pink faux fur...I know, I know, my imagination will get you fired....She's English though, and might, I guess not.

She's not THAT English and I've never seen her in anything except a white collared (buttoned of course) shirt, dark pants and a man's style suit jacket so footie Pj's ...don't think so...nice thought though...

Sounds like she needs to get a life and maybe this could be just the thing. She could really loosen up and get in touch with her inner frootsie...

Not happenin' honey no way no how

I'm home right now because I've been having smallish migraine headaches with auras all week.My boss sent me home because I was a little freaked out by them. I went to a "doc in the box" and he prescribed migraine meds which I'll be trying. I also made an appt with my oncologist for Friday afternoon at 1:30 just to be on the safe side. These have been coming more frequently lately (daily) and I just want to be proactive..The doctor I saw thinks they are classic migraines, they can last as long as 72 hrs, but referred me to a neurologist also as a precaution . life after cancer is all about being proactive and listening when your body tells you something. I don't really believe it's anything other then a series of migraines but "ya never know" and also conversly ,sometimes a headache is just a headache.... I will see you on Friday regardless and I don't want to worry you unduly, just want to keep you in the loop if that's OK? Unfortunately this stuff comes with the territory of being involved with a cancer survivor. sorry I wish it wasn't so...I feel fine truly...just a little tired, XX

Hi Sue,

Sorry that you are not well. Migranes is not something I have ever really had to deal with. The only person in my life who suffered from them was a young woman who worked for me back in the 80s but I never really learned about them. Your doctor probably had to refer you, I remember a cardiologist I used to see, a really good guy, told me that if I happened to complain to him of a headache he would have no option but to order a brain scan - just one of the quirks of the US litigious, CYA, medcal system.

I am going to be out and about this afternoon but will check in with you again this evening.

Enjoy the walkabout! I'm taking a nap -S

I'm not sure if this will be any help at all but relaxation in a darkened room (or using a blindfold) and drinking plenty of fluids appears to be a good short-term action for managing the symptoms.

Seeing the oncologist on Friday is a must-do, full marks for setting that one up.

Dietary changes can cause migraines and looking at the list of triggers that is the only one that seems to make sense. I'm assuming that you are not under any particular stress, run down etc? Maybe a little short of sleep (which can be a factor) but not especially so..

Interesting ideas. I knew about the dark room and cutting light but am wondering about the diet thing...I'll keep an eye on that. I felt better yesterday after I was at the gym so the exercise thing works. I had a headache most of yesterday and the day before..and then it came back today which upset me. Of course I always go for the worst case scenario...I must have a tumor!..even when evidence is against it, so I will also try to be less reactive and a little more logical (not easy for me you know)....thanks

Being reactive is a good thing as long as you don't let it pull you down emotionally, which would not be hard if you are feeling below par. Diet could be a factor, even the change from less healthy to healthy might cause a reaction. Caffeine withdrawal, for example, is known to cause headaches, at least in the short-term. Are you sure it is a migraine - as opposed to something sinus-related? Is there anything you need to do more or less of when you are down here? Did I notice you popping a pill the last time you were down, was that headache related? More out and about = exercise and fresh air might be good for you. Listen to your body, it will tell you what to do. X

No the pill was to help me fall asleep. It's just an OTC benedryl based thing that helps me fall asleep. I've used them for years so they aren't a suspect in my headache mystery. I wonder if it's my house sometimes. It is a damp basement and I've never seen mold who knows? I suppose it could be a factor...I just was talking to Laura. She called the oncolgst. and had a good conversation with her. She says she'll probably order an MRI for me if she feels it's warranted and we'll go from there. She also told L that the CAT scan was "clean" no activity or sign of activity so that's one thing done...There must be something wrong with my phone Dr. Grey (oncologist) tried to call me and couldn't get me and I never heard it ring. She called Laura instead...I'm leaning towards sinuses..but I'm not going to spin my wheels on this one I need to live my life..and exercise does help.

Hi Sue, I can't remember if we talked or wrote about this. There's a Rick Stein recipe for a kind of Gravalax - cold-cured Salmon which has been cured with salt, pepper, sugar and a lot of Dill - it is not cooked and is eaten cold, having a texture like smoked salmon, and is served with a delicious dressing made with yoghurt, dijon mustard, fresh red radishes and onion. Well today I found some really cheap Salmon in Flushing and I'm thinking of preparing some for that recipe - not for this weekend but for one or two weeks time - but I couldn't recall whether this was something you might like or not. Don't feel pressurised, I have a plan B and a plan C and can figure out others also but if I am going to prep it I need to do it in the next day or so. Let me know...

sounds wonderful! I'm fine with cold food.

Any better? I'd like to think that if I was there, or if you were here, it might make a difference but the truth is that it probably wouldn't. When you are physically ill and in pain or discomfort TLC, even in fairly large measure, isn't likely to make a lot of difference.

Oh yes it would make a difference for me but I'm OK I slept a bit and the Ibuprofin helped earlier but I still have a dull tightness in the back of my neck and across my forehead. Nothing huge or frightening and no more "aura's" thankfully, they freak me out! Sorry for the drama..​

You've made a sale! Way to go! Here is a summary of the items you sold: 1 x Pre-Raphaelite Collage 84" Curtains ( Color: White Retail Price: $79.99 each Markup: $20.00 each Earned: $20.00 total (Sales Source: Shop)

My first set of 84" curtains. A Pre-Raphaelite Collage to a lady in Australia and it's a sale from my shop which means a full $20 commission.

That's great! That was a fairly new design isn't it? I'd be interested to see what the room looks like where they're to be you ever wonder about things like that? Like, where the hell are they going to hang those! It's a beautiful design but I'd find 84 inches a bit overwhelming unless it was a HUGE room..anyway enough of my nonsense..congrats.

...Australia does have a lot of wide, open spaces.

well apparently your beautiful draperies are going to frame the view!

I've just noticed that apparently it is a single image split between 2 panels. The 'image' is actually 9 collages with a bit of cropping - there appear to be only 6 Ophelias drowning. I have noticed that curtain designs often repeat quite a lot and don't always neatly fill the opening. Glad you are feeling better, even if just a little, glad also that you think you would be better with company.

I'm sorry but I just had a flash of 12 Days of Christmas: "6 ophelias drowning" 5 golden rings, 4 calling bird, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree..

It's 3 Lizzie Siddals, 2 Madox Browns and a Burne Jones in a pear tree....

I knew you'd improve it you're much more clever than me!

Each to our own, you can out-draw or out-paint me any day and at some things I am sure we are perfectly matched..

well that's true...

All Clear! The dreaded headache is gone after lingering for three days it's packed it's bags and left the onwards and upwards into the day....hope yours continues to be profitable...maybe more Aussies will come through and order drapes! X

How are you feeling, Sue? Do you think it has gone or have the medications just masked the symptoms? Are you still taking any meds from the headache doctor?

I haven't taken anything since last night so no I don't think anything is "masking ". I also get a headachey feeling when the barometer is low or there's a storm and guess what? it's pouring rain we'll see what the day brings. I may start off with my classroom lights off (florescents) because they seem to be a big trigger. Anyway, hopefully I'm not turning into some kind of hypochondriac who sees tumors popping out of everyday simple ailments. I used to be blissfully disengaged (hence stage 4) but now I may be a little too hyper-vigilant. It's going to be an interesting four and a half years until I'm in the "clear" ...X

A bit of hypochondria is OK. Unfortunately I don't think that there is anything magical about "5 years" and the vigilance will be necessary even beyond that point though you will have it down to a fine art by then. I will also be around to keep an eye on you, if that's OK with you..

I know,,but it feels good to have a goal..i'm in a brave new world and have to accept that just not over-react to all of day at a time...

So, are you at school now? I'd kind of lost track...

yes I'm at school, and so far all is aura's (just a warm glow from our last exchange)

mmm that's a GOOD thing. By Friday I should be able to warm my hands on you!

how does saying that go..cold hands warm heart...or something along those lines...Xbackatyou.

Yes but that's probably just some medieval poor circulation thing. Either that or perhaps providing some form of consolation for the poor soul who has the cold hands. Serf says "Master, my hands are freezing" Master replies "Don't worry, that means you have a warm heart" (thinking, if you believe that you must be really naive you little toe-rag)

IOU.....IOU? Well, I'm not sure if I thanked you for the Beatles song you sent me the other day. I would hate to appear unnoticing or unappreciative - neither of which would be accurate. SO, not to be outdone, here is a tune for you which follows on from our earlier exchange (a more cheerful note to carry into the evening) AND you will get one more song every day from now until February 14th. You can view it as a low-cost but imaginative Valentine. I have them all selected and ready for sending and you should receive the first one tomorrow morning. Meanwhile here is today's song:

"Now I know the woman that you are

You're wonderful so far

And it's more than I hoped for

I don't care what consequence it brings

I have been a fool for lesser things

I want you so badI think you ought to know that

I intend to hold you for the longest time" xx

That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever won't be surprised to know that neither my ex h. or my last' involvement' EVER gave me a valentine of any kind..It was beneath their dignity I guess..too sentimental for sure for either of them.....any way.. I DO appreciate the gesture and will look forward to the next installment..(I'm glad you didn't pick "only the good die young") By the way for someone who was bemoaning his lack of romantic gestures a month ago you sure have found them now! X(with more to come tomorrow)

Go on then, remind me, (about the bemoaning) was it in an email or a conversation or in my profile? I'm not saying that I didn't say something to that effect, I just can't recall the context or the specifics. I do recall giving you a collection of music our first date but I suppose that was too early to be considered 'romantic'?

oh no! it was nothing! it was right after we met and you said you wished you'd gotten off the train etc. you said something about needing to find your romantic side or something to that effect. You "found" that side a long time ago, I was just kidding around! You've been giving me romantic gestures ever since and I know it!..

Now it all makes sense. I do regret having allowed my head to rule my heart and not accompanying you to your train, as I should have done. Well-recalled. At least you can be in no doubt about the sincerity of any gestures, it's not as if I can be accused of trying to seduce you and have my wicked way with you... Anyway I am quite sure that you will enjoy your 14 'gifts' at least as much as I have enjoyed selecting them. N

well I'm looking forward to having MY wicked way with you...( as well as hearing my 14 gifts...) .I'm so glad this Friday is finally here...-S

It is beginning to clear ans aminute ago I saw blue sky! It is VERY windy though but that will sweep out alll the damp, yucky air that's been hanging around..I feel quite medieval talking about ill winds and "humors" in the air! By the way I'd be so happy to be a part of your life still in five years....and beyond...I am quite crazy about you you know...

THATS nice, I was trying to figure out why you hadn't responded to my having dropped my guard... XX (By the way, the feeling is entirely mutual. Isn't that rather exciting?)

more than a little!


I think I hit reply by mistake...sorry! I lose track of which e-mail I'm answering..

That's OK, there are quite a lot. I have a "Susan" folder which is blossoming quite nicely...

I really need to learn how to do that! There are so many threads by now I'm not sure I could "collect" them all...another example of how better organized you are. more randomness on my part...although I have to say I am enjoying "carrying on" with you online. I don't really like talking to people on the phone. This way I can stay connected (intermittently) to you all day and most of the night! is that weird? well i am i guess...

Collecting them wouldn't be difficult, all you need to do is a search using "Neil" or "Ralley" (that's the search within GMail) and that would probably get them all. There is a button which is 2 to the right of "delete" which is called "labels" and you use that to create folders such as "School" "Parents" whatever and in between the labels button and the delete button is one called "move to"...OK I know I've lost you, it's really not important. I can curate our correspondence for the both of us. The phone thing we can work on someday if you like but it's no big deal. N

oh I didn't mean I'd never talk to you on the phone just i like staying connected at different times.It's nice to hear from you and to check in with you now and then that's all. . i do know about searching for your name I just forgot at that moment...i think i'm off to beddybye goes i I can't wait to get my song in the morning! I'll have to come up with something clever for you hmmmmm.....

Friday February 1st 2013

Good Morning, Sue, here it is:

"But of all these friends and lovers There is no one compares with you And these memories lose their meaning When I think of love as something new Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life, I love you more"

thanks XX (I love JC)

Spoiled for choice: Now, we have not talked about plans for today, presumably because you are probably not 100% sure when you will be finished with your oncologist though I am assuming it will probably be close to the usual time, maybe a little earlier, with luck. I will await your call but in the meantime I leave it to you to decide if you want to visit one of those 2 museums you tracked down. No need to make a decision until you get down here, I'm just mentioning it now to start you off thinking. Here is some info:

Today at MAD

Museum Hours Today

11:00 am to 9:00 pm. KLM Royal Dutch Airlines invites you to KLM Fridays. Enjoy Pay-What-You-Wish admission from 6:00 to 9:00 pm. KLM Fridays. You'd be MAD to miss them!

Open Studios

The Open Studios are open today from 11:00 am to 1:30 pm, 2:30 pm to 5:00 pm and 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm.

I do have food in which will do for this evening or tomorrow and it will not require a lot of planning or advance preparation so we can be very flexible, food-wise. X

I vote for MAD. I feel pretty energetic right now but we'll see by the time I get there...I might be able to catch an earlier train so I'll be in touch obviously around train time. I think there is one at to you later.-s

Going MAD with you sounds like fun. Looking forward to it, and you. X

Saturday February 2nd

Hi Sue, I know that you are here, and sleeping soundly as I type but I did say one each, here's the second one:

"The daylight's fading slowly,

But time with you is standing still.

I'm waiting for you only,

the slightest touch and I feel weak."

Sunday February 3rd

Here is number 3:

"When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do

Is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue

When you're close to me, I can feel your heart beat

I can hear you breathing near my ear

Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love

Anytime you want to you can turn me onto

Anything you want to, anytime at all

When I kiss your lips, ooh I start to shiver

Can't control the quivering inside

Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love, oh

When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do

Is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue

When I'm in your arms, nothing seems to matter

My whole world could shatter, I don't care

Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love"

I'm Home! Finally walked in the door just now. I stopped at school to pick up my laptop. There were two Poughkeepsie police officers there because the alarm had gone off but all seemed well. Then I went to a market that I like in P'Ok to get some organic meats and veggies for next week. I had a "duh" moment at the train station when I saw a sign saying free pkg on weekends. I actually only have to pay for Friday night! Of course long term is $6.00 so I may have to pay that none the goodness I can be daft! Of course it won't matter the next time I come down because I'll be staying during the week...whatever...It's interesting that there are people "doing" Paul Klee stuff. He isn't a household name. Speaking of names , Robert Moses was the person I couldn't remember who caused the mass exodus of the Grand Concourse. I'm sure there's an article or two written about his exploits. He's famous or infamous depending on how you view Progress in urban areas..On a more "intimate" note...i miss you i miss you.....I hate train station goodbyes so I hope you weren't taken aback at my abrupt leavetaking..also you had to go open the cottage so maybe it didn't even occur to you that I did that....the 15th is a long way off..XX

Hi Sue, One way to look at it is that the 15th is only 11 songs away. I just got down from closing up. A group of 3 people arrived about 4.40 and ended up staying till a little after 6. They were apparently on their way back to Queens after a funeral and so I didn't hassle or hurry them - they were nice people. Other than that it was (again) fairly quiet though the people who did visit were nice people and seemed to enjoy themselves. Am now going to rest up and finish off the pasta. N

Make sure to use up the fresh basil too! It might not last all that long and might be good with the pasta...but you would know best...S

Have mingled some of the basil with the chinese greens. Some basil still remains will figure out something to do with it tomorrow...

bon appetit! wish I was still there to try it out with you...

It was OK though I inadvertently overcooked the greens. I then fell asleep twice to 2 separate episodes of Bergerac, the series set in the Channel Islands which dates back to 1981. I am gradually getting back to 'normal' but have yet to fold back the bed. I need to get a bunch of laundry ready so that you have clean sheets and towels to come back to. It was nice coming across the night-clothes you left. They are not going to lighten your load by more than an ounce or two but it's has symbolic significance. So, did you take away fond memories? I recall a couple of loud laughs though not precisely what triggered them . I found an interesting article on a women's health website which you might enjoy: Have just had a coffee and will re-visit that second episode of Bergerac... Thankyou for sharing your Italian food heritage with me. N

did you take careful notes? (lol)..very I guess you don't "mind" the whole clitoral stimulation thing? another reason I love're not a control freak in bed..very important by the way....XX

Take notes? I ghost-wrote it! (Only joking! ) "Mind'? Hey, if it works, don't knock it..and no, I'm more of an un-control freak in bed, sometimes out of it too. Doesn't the production of all those healthy, relaxing chemicals in your body sound good? Probably much better for your migraines than cheese!

Monday February 4th

Number 4: Some Kind of Wonderful

"All you have to do is touch my hand

To show me you understand

And something happens to me

That's some kind of wonderful

Any time my little world is blue

I just have to look at you

And every thing seems to be

Some kind of wonderful

I know I can't express

This feeling of tenderness

There's so much I wanna say

But the right words just don't come my way

I just know when I'm in your embrace

This world is a happy place

And something happens to me

That's some kind of wonderful"

and you are too...some kind of wonderful...thank you ..I'll be thinking about you (as usual) XX S

So, are you in a happy, cheerful, energetic-ish frame of mind to face the new week? I guess you had a fairly early night which probably means enough sleep? XX

Definitely in a cheerful frame of mind etc.. and yes I went to sleep fairly early because my housemate insisted she had to watch the Superbowl (hohum..snore) so off to bed I went to read and ,yes fall asleep...hope you are well rested as well, no pesky bed partner waking you up with caresses and kisses at all hours.. .I'm off to the "salt mines". S

"..pesky bed partner waking you up with caresses and kisses at all hours" Did I miss something while I was asleep? If it wasn't me getting kissed and caressed, who was it? Did Eddie's ghost put in an appearance?? If there was any waking done I suspect I was probably the culprit...On Saturday night I was really concerned that I would stop you getting off to sleep with my itching and tossing and turning. Fortunately I remembered your canvasses and my wish to scan them so I was able to leave you in peace while also doing something constructive. Did you manage to do any prints of them yet? I can't recall having been woken up with caresses and kisses, except at more or less normal waking up time, but should you feel so inclined do consider yourself invited. I can't be sure what my reaction will be but I'm willing to guess that you would be very welcome.

WELL I remember ! Of course you were kind of asleep for most of them and they were "light" touches because I didn't really want to wake you up..more fleetingly affectionate ..then seriously trying to get a response..I was going to ask you about the "fidgets" you seem to have but didn't want to seem rude...please get up and do whatever you need/want to at night. I realize you're more of a "night owl" then I am...I'll just cover my head with a pillow and sleep on..".adjustments" are inevitable you know...sorry you missed the affectionate gestures ...XX

As to the prints, I didn't have a chance to print any of them yet. It was a very HECTIC day and after school I was off to the gym with my friend Judy. Tomorrow I'm looking forward to a little lull and I'll do it then...I really want to see them!

I just played with 2 of your collages:

I am attaching the JPEGs. I will spread them over a couple of emails.

Here's one

cool! no, why would I mind? play away! I like the 2nd one with the roughened edges...those two do work well together . I've done a "series" of three regular canvasses and I played one time with a group of 4 related canvas boards too....I like the idea of repetition or serial's neat to see what they look like... Oh! I just saw them on the shirts! I love them as an all over that's beautiful!( I need to think of designs for shirts...I did study to be a print designer once upon a time) thanks for doing these, they really look good as a design..what do you think?

Here's something very different

I LOVE this! What a fantastic idea..i've done cut paper collages of insects but purely decorative..and not as anatomically correct as these of course! Where do you find this stuff. i'm favorites are the dragonflies. I could spend hours watching them. I used to have kids make them out of paper tubes and pipe cleaners with tissue paper wings...and anything else they could come up with...

Someone tweeted the link to me. Is this another stop you will want to make en route to or from Richmond? Actually I didn't notice if it's a perm or temp exhibit...

Unfortunately, they aren't in Washington DC they're in Oklahoma City at the Sam Noble Museum but maybe they'll travel east at some no a detour to Okla. is NOT on the itinerary....thanks though.....I'll file it away

One last thing...I found this article about the chemistry of love....thought it might be entertaining.. I'm off to's already past my bedtime...goodnight my love...X

I thought what you had described was an article about eye contact and brain chemistry but maybe that was something different or perhaps I completely misunderstood. Anyway this one was entertaining though I'm not sure that I totally accept her hypotheses and definitions. I would need to think it through and certainly there is merit in her notion of "micro-moments" but there are other ways of viewing the "state" of being "in love". Of greater significance to me, here and now, is the fact that I miss our kisses (I first typed "your" but realised that I meant "our") - I miss the lips-contact, the tongue-contact and the eye-contact. XX

me too. I don't think this was the article I was looking for because that one was more "science" oriented but I can't seem to find it anywhere so I sent a close second....anyway I miss all the contact too! XX

Tuesday February 5th

Number 5 All My Life by Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt

"I never thought that I could feel a love so tender

I never thought I could let those feelings show

But now my heart is on my sleeve

and this love will never leave

I know

I know"

Wednesday February 6th Number 6 - Wild Mountain Thyme by The Corries

"I will build my love a bower By yon cool crystal fountain and round it I will pile All the wild flowers o' the mountain Will ye go Lassie go?"

Thursday February 7th

Good Morning, Gorgeous! Number 7 - Miss You Nights by Cliff Richard

" Thinking of my going

How to cut the thread

And leave it all behind

Looking windward for my compass

I take each day as it arrives

But these miss you nights

Are the longest

Lay down all thought of your surrender

It's only me who's killing time

Lay down all dreams and themes once remembered

It's just the same

This miss you game

Yeah these miss you nights

Are the longest

what a nice song..I don't know him..(.but I know you've sent me things by him before)

Friday February 8th Number 8 Let it be me by the Everly Brothers

"I bless the day I found you

I want to stay around you

And so I beg you, let it be me

Don't take this heaven from one

If you must cling to someone

Now and forever, let it be me

Each time we meet, love

I find complete love

Without your sweet love

what would life be?

So never leave me lonely

Tell me you love me only

And that you'll always let it be me"

I won't play it yet, too early... but I didn't have a headache just tired...I had a very frustrating day with one student in particular who is fast becoming the bane of my existence I almost never dislike a child (ever) but this one is really getting on my last nerve...she's completely negative towards everyone and creates drama scenes all day long. We've told her mother she needs therapy but her mom says it's impossible in her culture to do that because her daughter would be shunned! (The mom is the reason the daughter is the way she is by the way)..I spent my entire day putting out "social fires"'s exhausting. Anyway thanks for letting me vent...i'm trying to figure out what my next move will be..since the family refuses to get her any help..I'm sure you're asleep so this goes out into the internet void but it's nice to think I'm actually talking to someone....XX

Saturday February 9th Here is number 9, especially for you:

Never Ending Road by Loreena McKennitt

"Deep in the winter Amidst falling snow High in the air Where the bells they all toll And now all around me I feel you still here Such is the journey No mystery to fear. Here is my heart and I give it to you Take me with you across this land These are my dreams, so simple and few Dreams we hold in the palm of our hands"

beautiful.....9 ALREADY!!! where s the time going???

Sunday February 10th Number 10

Good morning, Sue! "Sometimes when we touch"

"And sometimes when we touch The honesty's too much And I have to close my eyes And hide I want to hold you till I die Till we both break down and cry I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides"

that one says it all...XX

I couldn't resist sending one to you. / i hope you like it XXXXX

"shouldn't I have...a comfortable bed that won't hurt my back?" Almost hidden away there in the first couple of lines but I spotted it! The kisses are easy but the bed...? XX

We'll manage....I'm sure..(.I'm not as picky as Mary C. C). Although, I woke up today with a back ache from the shoveling. Hopefully as I move about it will dissipate..OH! the sun just came out! It's zero degrees here so it's a welcome sight! (it was minus 2 so zero is improvement) XX

Monday 11th February Valentine Song Number 11

Good Morning Sue, Here it is: With Every Beat of My Heart by Chris Rea

"With every beat of my heart, I will love youWith every song, with every breath that you takeI'll give you the moon and the sun, you're the only onePleading love with every beat of my heart"

with every beat of mine too...thanks XX

Tuesday 12th February....Good morning! Here is number 12 for you:

Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel